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Original poster

Strip Clubs

53 replies

ItsGrimUpNorth · 29/03/2009 09:43

How do you feel if your DH goes to strip clubs?

My DH has been going to about four stag dos a year now for ages and they all end up in strip clubs.

AFAIK, he doesn't go to them apart from stag dos.

I hate the thought of DH leering and gawping slack jawed at strippers with all the rest of the desperate raincoats. It just seems like such a loser thing to do particularly as they're hardly classy places and couldn't be described as burlesque!

I feel like I lose a bit of respect for him each time he goes because it's like that's he views women - there for his and those cheesy men's titillation. It gives me the creeps TBH.

OP posts:
brettgirl2 · 29/03/2009 10:02

It doesn't bother me if it is a stag night at all. If he was going out of his way to go at other times then it would though.

I think that one problem is that they are pretty well the only places that will let stag parties in!

WinkyWinkola · 29/03/2009 11:33

I don't really like the idea of it, I must say.

I just imagine lots of men, sitting there, wanking frantically. Lovely.

Why don't you tell your DH that the next time you see an attractive male, you're going to show your appreciation the way he does in strip clubs? Wonder if he'd like that?

BitOfFun · 29/03/2009 11:44

Not keen either. DP's Christmas do always ends up like this, he knows I don't like it, but he gave the whole thing a bodyswerve this year mainly because it was freezing and we were a bit skint. So I don't get pissed off at him about it because I know he's not that arsed, but the whole culture of it does annoy me. Incidentally, there's a female secretary at the firm he does this freelancing for, and she doesn't go on the nights out with them, but they all have a whipround for her. I can't make up my mind whether that's sexist or a good idea!

Lovemyshoes · 29/03/2009 11:47

doesn't bother me in the slightest, if DH wants to pay stupid money to watch someone dance for him when I'd do it for free that is completely up to him.

namechangerforareason · 29/03/2009 11:51

Dont bother me, he can heat the water anywhere as long as it boils at home IYKWIM

emmabemmasmom · 29/03/2009 11:58

This is a tricky one. I had never been bothered by it as I trust my DH and hell we have all been there right? lol However, I know of men who maybe let things go a little over the 'just watching them dance' stage in the evening. This includes a few grooms...and brides.

Since knowing about some of these things, DH and I spoke about it (as he is the one who told me the stories mostly) and I told him that in no way would I tell him not to go...however I did tell him I would rather he didn't and that it bothered me even though it shouldn't.

DH respected that and has not gone to one since...he just leaves when everyone heads that way.

CharleeInSpring · 29/03/2009 11:59

I wouldn't like it, i am thankfull that my DP just isn't into that scene, i have know him leave a 'stag do' or come home frm a lads night when talk turned to going to strip clubs.

SheSellsSeashellsByTheSeashore · 29/03/2009 12:01

What Lovemyshoes said.

SheSellsSeashellsByTheSeashore · 29/03/2009 12:03

Also if you have trust issues, then a strip club will be the safest place for him to be. The dancers are not likely to take him home and shag him. Some one in a nightclub however.........

aGalChangedHerName · 29/03/2009 12:09

Have never liked the strip club thing so DH doesn't go. He was never really into it so he's happy not to go when he knows how it makes me feel.

Like Emma i know men who do more than watch.

emmabemmasmom · 29/03/2009 12:29

You wouldn't think the stripper would shag him but I know for a fact both men and women who have gone all the way with one (or more) in the past.

I was at a hens night and a few male strippers showed up (this was at her house as well, not public). I was shocked when the 'bride to be' took one upstairs and had her wicked way...

I didn't go to the wedding...but always thought I should tell the groom...then again why should I?

Just goes to show it is not just the guys either!

aGalChangedHerName · 29/03/2009 12:36

DH says every work night out and team building jolly ends in a strip club crawl. He comes home after the meal and 2 beers.

The guys always say what the wee wifie doesn't know won't hurt her

And there is more than just dancing going on on occasion. I am sure tho that there will be loads on this thread who don't believe it or say that they were dancers and it doesn't happen in clubs.

CharleeInSpring · 29/03/2009 12:41

My BIL's best man arranged a 'suprise' stag do to a strip club, BIL left and rang My Sister (his bride to be) in the hotel while the others stayed at the strip club, he said it was making him cringe seeing those women doing various things to men and women there, he said what shocked him as he had never been to one before was that the woment were just like you and me, they had the stretch marks, cellulite, the odd pimple, scar or wonky tooth, he said he always imagined strippers to be like these surgery enhanced blonde bombshells you see in celeb magazines. He said he would never go again, not that he was dissapointed that these women were normal but that it brought the harsh reality to him that these were mothers/daughters/wives/sisters that were doing this job. He openly admits he thinks about women differently now.

aGalChangedHerName · 29/03/2009 12:46

Good for him Charlee.

I would see DH differently if he went to see dancers etc. I think i would see him as sad/pathetic/seedy IYKWIM?

There was a stag do not long ago and it was strippers from start to finish (and god knows what else) in Amsterdam. He just said no not interested,not my thing. With no pressure from me i might add.

HolyGuacamole · 29/03/2009 13:17

Hmm, I'm not sure. I kind of think they can be harmless but I just don't like the idea that women use their bodies like that to make a bit of cash. It's not my cup of tea and if I had a daughter, it's not the kind of career move I'd like her to be making.

It's that whole laddish culture that goes with it too, can't stand that. To go and pay for a dance is so manly, back slapping, macho, one of the lads etc. DH has in the distant past been to many a stag do here and in other countries and he has kind of had his fill of that kind of thing. It is incredible what the guys get up to by the way!

I dunno, it all feels a bit creepy to me. At the same time though, I wouldn't judge someone who does it. I know I'm a hypocrite but each to their own. Someone I know, knows a girl who works in a lap dancing club and she said that the dancers are open to offers after hours if the money is right.

I asked DH what would he think if I were to dress in tiny tight clothes and grind myself on a guys lap in a nightclub in exchange for drinks. He said he'd hate that and on that basis he wouldn't go to a lapdance club nowadays, goose, gander etc. Plus he grudges paying a fiver for a beer

These days as well though, a lot of 'normal' nights out include a visit to a strip club par for the course. Some men in my DHs work go all the time and the way they talk about the women is absolutely horrendous, not a single ounce of respect and they would never talk that way in front of their wives. It's the old double standard thing I suppose.

SerendipitousHarlot · 29/03/2009 13:22

Wouldn't care at all. As long as I was afforded the same privilege.

aGalChangedHerName · 29/03/2009 13:25

Can't think of anything worse than going to see average men or women stripping off for any Tom Dick or Harry for cash yuk!!

Blarbie · 29/03/2009 13:27

Have you ever been to one? I went to a pole dancing place years back and was fascinated. The pole dancers are great, I wish I could do that. When you see the men getting dances they just look a bit pathetic. My db has been in them on stag dos and I'm not that bothered, but I do ask him exactly what went on. He also tells me before hand that they might end up in one and I think if I was bothered he'd either not go or lie... hope it'd be the former!

aGalChangedHerName · 29/03/2009 13:34

I minded for a lap dancer and yes she showed me how she danced. Didn't do a thing for me but maybe she was a shit dancer.

I just hate the fact that DH would be chucking our money away on some girl jiggling her tits in his face I do think men who go to bars are sad and pathetic and i think my DH is "better" than that IYSWIM?

SerendipitousHarlot · 29/03/2009 13:44

Do you think they're sad and pathetic? I don't at all!

Obviously if they were going every week, I might think differently, but I think it's a bit of a different night out.

I'd get the benefit when he came home anyway

aGalChangedHerName · 29/03/2009 13:48

Yeah i do tbh.

Get the benifit?? Eh??

So he goes out leering at other womens tits and fannies and you get a shag when he gets in?

Nah i'd rather my DH was looking at me before any sex.

SerendipitousHarlot · 29/03/2009 13:52

Well yes, he's going out and getting all horned up looking at someone else.. and...? I don't have a problem with that. It's natural to leer at other people innit, we're married, not dead.

aGalChangedHerName · 29/03/2009 14:03

hey if that's what turns you both on then great,and i'm glad it works for you honestly.

It does nowt for me or him so that works for us too. Not saying we don't look but don't fancy him looking at others to get the horn for sex with me.

Oh and we are married and not dead either

SerendipitousHarlot · 29/03/2009 15:23

I do remember him telling me a story once about going years ago, and telling me about her ahem intimate piercing... I couldn't believe that they get close enough for you to see

aGalChangedHerName · 29/03/2009 15:48

That's gross, sorry. I wouldn't want to be that close to anyones bits (male or female)

Horses for courses and all that tho eh?