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Original poster

Strip Clubs

53 replies

ItsGrimUpNorth · 29/03/2009 09:43

How do you feel if your DH goes to strip clubs?

My DH has been going to about four stag dos a year now for ages and they all end up in strip clubs.

AFAIK, he doesn't go to them apart from stag dos.

I hate the thought of DH leering and gawping slack jawed at strippers with all the rest of the desperate raincoats. It just seems like such a loser thing to do particularly as they're hardly classy places and couldn't be described as burlesque!

I feel like I lose a bit of respect for him each time he goes because it's like that's he views women - there for his and those cheesy men's titillation. It gives me the creeps TBH.

OP posts:
suwoo · 29/03/2009 16:07

Thats one of the things I hate about lap dancing clubs, that the girls don't wear knickers. It just seems worse than topless only to me. There is no logical reason why though. DH hasn't been to one for a while. that I know of

aGalChangedHerName · 29/03/2009 16:15

Disn't know they didn't wear knickers. Prob in the hope the guys will part with more cash?

suwoo · 29/03/2009 16:19

They may not at all the clubs, just the one DH and his nobhead mate frequent

aGalChangedHerName · 29/03/2009 16:22

Posting on a thread like this usually makes me feel like i am abnormal tbh, but not this one so much.

Usually it's full of how glad women ae that their man goes and ogles naked women I just can't/don't feel like that.

I only like him to ogle me lol

SheSellsSeashellsByTheSeashore · 29/03/2009 16:29

emmabean you know this for a fact how??? Did the men tell you? I always believe what druken men tell me

I worked in a lapdancing and trust me, the girls do not shag the customers. They see them as idiots really, drunken louts who have nothing better to waste their money on. They wouldn't waste their time taking home a man on a stag do.

Do not believe what you see on the bbc etc. Do you think they would have a good documentary if they took you into a reputable strip club where the girls were happy and treat with respect and would lose their job if they were seen to be liasing with clients outside of work?

ABetaDad · 29/03/2009 16:31

I think HolyGuacamole pretty much summed it up as I feel about it.

The whole laddish culture is the issue.

Most of the blokes get dragged along by a few blokes who really want to go. I hate the whole idea and have never been and do not want to go. Some blokes just feel they have to go though to keep in with the lads. The double standard with their wives is the thing that I always found most gob smacking.

Strangely, if my wife went on a hen night and they ended up watching the Chippendales I would not mind. She never has but I know that she thinks the whole idea of blokes getting their kit off is just totally laughable.

suwoo · 29/03/2009 16:35

One of the dancers texted DH to congratulate him on the birth of his son..........but thats a whole other thread

It went down so well, 6 days after a c section I can tell you.

So even in reputable clubs some dancers do liaise with the fellas.

aGalChangedHerName · 29/03/2009 16:37

Shesells do you think it ever goes on tho?

Because i think it does in some clubs sometimes at least.

I minded for a girl who danced and some of the stuff she told me was horrible

SheSellsSeashellsByTheSeashore · 29/03/2009 16:44

suwoo, admittedly yes. We did sometimes have a drink or swap numbers with regular customers but it was as a group of friends. That's all, and it was only with regular customers who we had gotten to know over the course of time. There was no one stands with clients or sex for money or anything else inappropriate.

Men on stag dos we wouldn't touch with a barge pole. Or men who come in large druken groups for some one's birthday or leaving do. As I said we saw them as idiots who had nothing better to waste their money on. Plus they usually end up showing themselves up and behaving very childishly, egging each other on to have more dances or ask a girl for her number. So appealing

They were normally directed to the nearest brothel or in extreme cases removed from the premises and barred out.

If that girl texted your husband I would imgaine that, like it or not, he is a regular client of hers and she sees him as a friend aswell as a customer.

I had a lovely customer once, who after closing time would go and buy all the girls a breakfast from the all night cafe. We had his number and would text him some nights we knew he was coming in to ask him to call to the shops for us. He never came in pissed up with a load of lager louts. He visited because he was going through a messy divorce, worked long hours and missed female company. He was never anything but a gentleman. They were the kind of clients we would befriend.

SheSellsSeashellsByTheSeashore · 29/03/2009 16:47

Yes it does sometimes go on. In our club it was mainly the foriegn girls who took cutsomers home and if they other girls found out they would be bullied out of their job. As it meant we were losing money and it also attracted eejits to the club who thought if they spent enough, they could do what they wanted.

I am not saying it never happens, but by and large it does not. And I doubt any dancer would bother with a stag do.

suwoo · 29/03/2009 16:49

I think she was more of a 'friend' of DH's mate as he used to go and see her regularly, particularly during his daytime working hours. He really did think he stood a chance with her but DH knew otherwise. Obviously I was pissed off and upset at the time of the text, I think she was just congratulating him in a similar way that his female work colleagues did- women are suckers for a newborn baby! I don't think there was anything more to it than that.

HolyGuacamole · 29/03/2009 17:51

Yes Betadad. I agree. My DH wouldn't bat an eyelid if I wanted to see Chippendales or whatever, but to be honest it's a real turn off for me.

The whole peer pressure thing is so true. My DH in his younger years has been to lapdancing clubs on stag nights etc and TBH he feels a bit embarrassed by it all. I guess most guys are drunk and they get egged on etc.

One night we were out with colleagues from DHs work and one blowhard guy in particular was going on and on very loudly about how cool he was after spending £300 in a lapdancing club. He was being all macho, showing off and really vulgar about it, about how the dancers must have fancied him, they were (apparently) over him like a rash etc . Then 5 minutes later, his (really lovely) wife joined us and he was suddenly all lovey dovey, butter wouldn't melt in his mouth and ultra polite in front of her. DH and I were like . It was pretty obvious his wife knew nothing about it and he kept turning to wink at us as if to say "don't tell the wife".

I just thought "yuck". NOT at the fact he had been to lapdancing, but at his double standards and at the way he was describing the dancers. I think if men want to do that then fine, but at least have a bit of respect for the dancers and for the wife at home.

dittany · 29/03/2009 17:57

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BabyBaby123 · 29/03/2009 18:02

my dp went a couple of weeks ago - doesn't bother me in the slightest. I don't see why it would if you are secure in yourself and your relationship

Mamii · 29/03/2009 18:18

My DH used to enjoy the odd stag trip to a lap dancing club or strip bar. (he went to vegas for his 'stag week') It's never really bothered me TBH.

However, he did stop going when his cousin became a pole dancer. He suddenly realised that lot's of men would be looking at her the way he had been looking at all those other women. One night when it was suggested that all the lads should finish the night in the local pole dancing bar - he told them all in no uncertain terms they weren't allowed to go as this was where his cousin was working.

And.. yes, I totally pointed out what a big fat hairy hypocrite he was!

He's thought differently about them ever since, realising that these girls are actually peoples daughters, sisters, girlfriends, aunties etc.

If men are suckers enough to pay-up good money to see a pair of knockers, then good on the girls who are cashing in on it!

suwoo · 29/03/2009 18:23

I think its the snatch they are paying to see not the tits

Mamii · 29/03/2009 18:27

Hee hee, yeah - that too. Although can't see what all the fuss is about myself.

At least they're not as comical as willy's though.

suwoo · 29/03/2009 18:32

That was a big lure to my twat of a DH and his mate. Tits are more available to see in papers, lads mags etc. Fanny isn't.

I'm making him sound great aren't I?

SheSellsSeashellsByTheSeashore · 29/03/2009 18:36

Many lapdancing clubs are topless only. I know all of them in Manchester and most of the ones in Blackpool are topless only. There are more girls who are willing to work in topless only.

They still make money, so it can't all be about fanjos. Though I have no doubt that is why some men go to the fully nude clubs.

suwoo · 29/03/2009 18:40

Not true, shesells. The one I am referring to is in Manchester. Long Legs

SheSellsSeashellsByTheSeashore · 29/03/2009 18:45

Hmm, they must have changed their licence. When I worked around Manchester the city council were very strict on the rules surrounding dancing clubs and would not give fully nude liscences out. They also came down very hard on clubs breaking the '3 feet' rule.

Although they didn't seem to mind all the 'massage' parlours and 'saunas'

I am going back nearly 6/7 years though.

suwoo · 29/03/2009 18:51

From what I know, there is no such 3 feet rule there these days. I think they did upgrade within the last year or so.

morningpaper · 29/03/2009 18:51

There are lots of ways of getting female company without insisting that it is naked.

Or, indeed, paying for it. I quite agree

Sorry but how exactly is this an appropriate way to enter into a marriage? Paying another woman to strip or dance provocatively? What does that say about his attitude to women? That they are just commodities - give them a bit of money and you can do what you like with them. nice

idiots is about right

aGalChangedHerName · 29/03/2009 21:43

Getting married and getting another woman to wave their bits in your face for a stag night is soooo disrespectful to the future wife isn't it???

Bloody glad DH didn't want one. So many workmates (and even my db) wanted him to have a stag weekend (why??) but he told em all to naff off.

ABetaDad · 29/03/2009 22:35

Oh dear. I think I have just realised I have a totally inconsistent attitude to this.

As long as a woman is lap dancing or stripping of her own free will I do not have a problem with it. If my wife went to see the Chippendales I would not mind.

I would not go myself to strip club or lap dancing club and I am unhappy about the way other blokes talk/think about the women that work in them.

As Spock would say: "That is illogical Captain!