Feeling let down after mothers day

[benjo]

OK.. This might get a bit long and boring but I need to hear your opinions because im actually too embarrassed to speak about it to anyone I know.
I have a 6 month old son, and I was really looking forward to my first mothers day.. I had no sleep the night before and I got into my bed sat night and my dh said "dont worry about a thing tomorrow.. ill get up with baby and feed him etc.. we'll have a lovely family lunch (his family were coming over too) and you can relax for the whole day.." His words not mine...
I woke up sunday morning,... tried and tried to wake him up but was getting no where so i had to feed/change etc our son.. I was up with him from 6am... dh did not get out of bed until 11;30!! I was so annoyed,.,. there i was again.. doing the same thing i do every single day.. All i wanted was one day to feel appreciated and looked after for a change. My mum was here and I was so embarrasssed because I knew she was feeling annoyed at him too.
We ended up having a huge argument, I went out for a walk with baby, lunch was cancelled and the day was spoilt..
Im still really annoyed that ill never get my first mothers day back. I feel like my dh is so lazy and always lets me down.. I dont ask for much, no expense or presents etc.. just a little gratitude. He never even got me a card for valentines this year.. I feel fed up.. and its worse when everyones like "so how was ur valentines.. how was your first mothers day"... drives me crazy!
What do i do?? I just feel like I cant be bothered waiting around for my next disappointment, when im ALWAYS showing i think of him..

It is all over rated rubbish and leads to rows with to many expectations.

At the same time however, regardless of it being mother's day, do you never get a lie in?

I would feel v. cross with dh if he reneged on a lie-in deal, or never got up early. As it is, tends to be me getting up after everyone else

Its all a crock of shit imho...mothers day, valentines day causes too much trouble for my liking
I got a card without an envelope from my ds[16] made me laught tho .typical of him

Aw

I agree it is all over rated etc. I'm not a mother but if I was, a card or a nice simple brekkie in bed would be nice and really appreciated. Can you talk reasonably to him and tell him how it makes you feel and that a little bit of attention goes a long way?

Sometimes arguing and anger gets in the way of really saying how we feel.

he sounds a selfish twat

its not over rated.you gave up 9 mths for gods sake all you want is one bleedin day to feel appreciated

when hes asleep tonight superglue his dick to his stomach...always works

It's not really about Mothering Sunday though is it. It's about feeling valued etc. Sorry you had a crap day.

He needs a firm kick up the backside.

It's not just about Mother's Day really is it? It is about your dh being quite self absorbed and not treating you with respect and consideration. It just feels worse (imo) when it is a special day, e.g Mother's Day, your anniversary or whenever.

I guess the bottom line is whether you feel you want to continue living like this? Would he be prepared to communicate about these issues (either with you or you both go to Relate?)

You sound quite unhappy (understandably) but only you know if this is a blip or there are serious underlying issues.

x-post with nigglewiggle.

haha... your last comment made me smile!
Ive told him I feel hurt by him, and he just acts like everything is fine.. he tries kissing me and stuff and i just want to tell him to piss off! I text him today saying "dont just think all is rosy again because im still very hurt and youj still have to show me youre sorry.. If things dont improve with us i dont know what we'll do.. tables need to be turned big time" He arrived home and didnt even acknowlede the text!
That annoyed me even more.. And im not totally exaggerating the fact he pissed up mothers day.. theres been other problems too

Do the same thing this weekend. Tell him to go up to bed because you have a wonderful surprise planned for him. "I'm going to cover you in chocolate spread and lick it off slowly. Go up now and handcuff yourself to the radiator and I'll be up in 5 minutes."

Then stay downstairs and Mumsnet till dawn.

How long have you been together benjo? Have the problems been recent or have there always been certain issues? (feel free to ignore these questions, obviously)

He just always leaves things to me... I know im on maternity and I know he works,. but my job at home never ends u know? And whats gonna happen when im back at work? The house will be disgusting if he doesnt pull his finger out. We've had so many arguments since ive been pregnant.. he always says things will change and he wants us to be happy.. i just cant understand how he can say he wants this when he always lets me down when i want him to least..

We've been together 3 years.. we were so "in love" and carefree, and then we had to get serious... My son comes first, and maybe i have become a bit of a nag.. but its only because i feel like im the only one whos taken all this on and grown up big time since hes been here.. When i was pregnant he used to go out partying more than ever before... and it hurt because i was stuck at home, huge, and i just wanted him there u know?.. oh.. and he calls minding his son to his friends.. "babysitting" How dare he...

lol at "i will beup in five minutes.." good to see I am not alone....

lol at "i will beup in five minutes.." good to see I am not alone....

alone?

He sounds quite immature benjo, apologies if that sounds harsh.

The bottom line (imo) is whether he loves and respects you enough to understand that things have to change. If the two of you are struggling to work it out/talk about it, maybe it is time to consider Relate.

If he won't discuss things properly, then maybe that is your answer.

whats relate? sorry if im a bit slow

relationship counselling.

relate.org.uk here

sorry am struggling with the link (I only had one glass of wine!)

Just type relate.org.uk

I sometimes feel like leaving.. but I dont want my son to not have his dad around.. I feel like sometimes this is just a "phase'.. or so I hope.. If i was to leave it wouldnt be fair because my family are in another country and id be so far away.. Im only here because of him.. I just wish he'd realise it

i will have a look, thanks

Hope you manage to work things out, sounds really stressful at the moment.

Ha, this Mothers Day was the 1st one that I got a card (as in purchased by DH on behalf of kids), bacon buttie in bed and a 2 hour nap.
I have been a mother for 5 years and have 3 DC!
Are you a patient woman benjo?
Last year was the straw that broke the camels back when DH left the house with the kids clutching flowers and chocolates and headed to MILs for the entire day, his parting words to me? I quote, 'As you have the day to yourself why don't you try tidying up'.
Boydid he get a mouthful when he came home and the kids were tucked up in bed!!!

Oh God My DH can't wake his lazy bones up in the mornign to deal with kids either... Thankfully he has many other wonderful qualities.

He always says ' But you are a morning person'..... er not by choice mate!