I want out. Well I think I do. What is wrong with me?

[3years]

I cant do more than 3 years,

i just wake up one day and start to question my relationship,

i have been feeling 'numb' regarding my current relationship with dp for about 3 weeks now,

the feeling wont go away

i have had 3 long term meaningful relationships so far,

all of which i have ended...

what the fuck is wrong with me (or them)

I am getting boggled by this. YOu say your partner is 'lovely' one minute, then that he is financially dodgy, probably a crook the next. Then you're fretting about your dress... As I said, it sounds like this relationship is simply not for you. He can carry on being a good co-parent to your DD without you having to marry him or live with him, you know (and if you are not in a coule=realtionship with him you are less at risks from his financial misdemeanours).

3 years, you seem very money focussed, and I understand why, life as a single parent can be financially hard, but listen to me on this...

YOU CANNOT BUY YOUR LIFE BACK

In your OP you say you have been feeling 'numb' about this relationship for three weeks

I've had colds lasted longer than that!

When it's a relationship where you've chosen to bring a child into the world (well, even without children!) I think a bad patch lasting three weeks is absolutely par for the course.

Bad patches can last for months or even a year or more IMVHO but you ride it out IF you basically like your partner and are committed to being together for the long term. Sometimes it's about looking forward rather than just how you feel now and accepting that how you feel now doesn't = how you will necessarily feel in a few years.

If he left you tomorrow how would you feel?

the op sounds very confused

and contradictory

and strange

I have absolutely no idea why anyone would consider marrying someone who has supposedly had;

another woman
an ex wife
a criminal record
various businesses

all behind their partners back. The partner that they are supposed to love and cherish so much that they want to gt married??

I also have no idea why op is being quite so snippy.
If this is for real, dump him, dye the dress and wear it to a party.

I don't think it is for real, IDTCS

One thing is certain. If you get married it will take longer and cost more than calling off a wedding now. Not sure I understand your reluctance to do so. If my nan had bought my wedding dress (a bit difficult now tbh) I am sure she would want me to be happy wearing it and fully understand if I couldn't because I wouldn't be. How old is your dd? Dcs are very adaptable ime.

idrank, all of the mentioned was a long time ago, it sounds stupid now, i chose to forgive at the time, we had only just met, there are still times when i find myself questioning him, trust is hard at times,

anyfucker, sadly, it is real,

i am sorry i can across so shirty last night, too much wine i guess, and he had pissed me off about something unrelated to all this,

i am confused, yes, i am hoping that is is jitters as the wedding is getting closer, i never saw myself as the marrying type,

he has been a good partner since all the shit at the start, people change,

i guess it is me panicing,

i spoke to my friend today and i feel better about the situation,

thankyou for all that offered advice,

[hopes thread dies now]

glad you feel a bit heartened.
i hope you make the right decisions, be happy.

yeah, be happy

well, I stick with my initial opinion of confused, contradictory and strange

all of which can be explained by pre-wedding jitters and too much vino

seriously, I hope you make the right decision for you

we just don't want to see you on the relationship threads in 12 months time, bewailing the fact that you should never have married the fucker !

Hear, hear AF!

How would you feel if he called things off?

Relieved?
Heartbroken?