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Original poster

My husband is doing my head in, the 'quirkiness' that I adored about him ...

91 replies

Disenchanted3 · 25/02/2009 19:38

when we were first together is grinding on me.

I'm not bothering to name change.

And please don't say anything like 'leave him' because I could never leave him, hes my best friend.

We got together very young, it really was a mad passionate thing at 15! But it was more than that, we just clicked. Never spent a moment apart if we could help it, its the same now.

I still look at him and melt.

But lately things have just been annoying me.

He collects things, Ive posted about this before, I cant see him ever stopping. Star wars things, alien vs predator, scarface,, etc..

At first I thought alot of it was cool, but now it just pisses me off, its all over the house.

And now he bought the most ridiculous thing off ebay, Im not saying what so PLEASE dont ask, but its hideous big and very expensive.

I don't want it in my house, I don't see why he needs it.

I really wish I could have him as he is, all the love he has for me, the patience, but not the 'oddness'.

Everyone else finds him hysterical, I find it embarressing the way he behaves in public. Like a kid!

I don't know

I love him soo much but feel fed up!

OP posts:
princessmel · 25/02/2009 20:17

So do you have a shed? or the space to put a new shed??

KerryMumbles · 25/02/2009 20:18

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MissisBoot · 25/02/2009 20:18

Put it in your bed and tell him that's what he's going to be sleeping with if he doesn't curb his collections.

keevamum · 25/02/2009 20:18

I like it. Am I really odd too.

LucyJones · 25/02/2009 20:19

are you me?
my bedroom is full of comics in boxes, a Millenium falcon and something else star warsy that I forget the name of
my loft is full of transformers
my dining room is filled with dvds, loads of them, my spare room is full of star wars figures, it just goes on and on
I ahev to say I hate it, it is a pointless waste of money imo, and to be truthful it does make me love dh a lot less, I stick with him for the kids I guess
he also roleplays, dungeons and dragons that sort of thing
my friends and family say at least it isn't footie or parts of cars or golf but all those things are understandable and don't take up as much time and money imo

Cloudspotter · 25/02/2009 20:19

I completely understand this. My dh used to be obsessed with collecting star wars stuff etc, and has spent the last few weeks renovating an old lawnmower. We live in a 2 bed flat, so his collectables had started to get a bit out of hand. Thankfully we have a cellar, which has become his 'boy hobby room'.

You have a 3 bed house, so I should think a large shed outside is the answer. Don't whatever you do let him know that he embarrasses you - he will be gutted and hurt. Make sure he doesn't see this thread as well!

Original poster
Disenchanted3 · 25/02/2009 20:19

No shed, loft packed with more of his stuff comics ect ...

Space for a shed yes, but not reallky wise to put anything you want to keep in one round here ... maybe thats my solution, lol.

OP posts:
LucyJones · 25/02/2009 20:21

oh and instead of thnking that if we ever come into any soert of money we could pay our ridiculously huge mortgage off he thinks we should extend the house so he could display all the stuff in the loft
but the truth is how ever much space we have he will just buy more and more stuff

LackaDAISYcal · 25/02/2009 20:23

oh poor you if you don't like it . I think a skeleton would be pretty cool addition to our hallway though!!

not sure what to suggest other than telling him how upsetting it all is to you.

TsarChasm · 25/02/2009 20:25

Shed shed shed.

My dh is in his right now faffing about with whatever he faffs about in the shed with. He could be tunneling out for all I care know.

I can see why the skeleton is maddening and inspired all at once. It will make a great alternative Christmas tree next December and as for Halloween...Men and their hobbies eh?

gonaenodaethat · 25/02/2009 20:26

I think your husband sounds fab.

'he said that, hes going to teach DCs all the bones in the body.' Bless

I bet he's a great dad.

Do you worry that if you took out the part of his personality that occasionally irks then you may also lose some of the part of him that makes him the unique person that you love?

Original poster
Disenchanted3 · 25/02/2009 20:29

He is a fantastic dad, really.

Everybody says so, even strangers that see him playing scooter with DS.

He does most everything around the house, cleans, does dishwasher, washes clothes, never goes outc without me, writes me letters, draws me funny pics to cheer me up, makes me pop-up card for valentines with us kissing on, lol.

Gosh ... what was i moaning about again??

OP posts:
princessmel · 25/02/2009 20:34

Aww he does sound lovely and very like my dh

I just read your post about the notes and pictures to dh and he said, 'I wrote you a note today' He'd put it under my pjs, he thought I'd have put them on (as usual) and see it. Bless him xxxx

Back to your dh. Even though he sounds lovely, you still need to talk to him. Because it's making you sad.

WilyWombat · 25/02/2009 20:42

LackaDAISYcal I so sympathise with you...hubby has the same obsession. He watches all those fishing programmes and I have queried "how many times can you watch the same man catch the same fish" (actually I could tolerate Matt Hayes if he got his teeth fixed) NO WAY do maggots go in my fridge and the fishing crap is kept down in the shed...I do not want to see it at all and I do not want to discuss it!!

ProfYaffle · 25/02/2009 20:49

Oh wow, your dh sounds just like mine! We had a big scrap because he bought a storm trooper outfit (so far so good) but then he wanted to get a shop dummy to put it on in the living room! I put my foot down on that one.

He also did something similar to the salmon at the buffet thing except it involved smuggling a whole stilton onto a coach He was also the 'character/eccentric' in his office, known for all his quirks etc etc

How old is your dh? Am I right in thinking he's about 25? My dh was exactly the same at that age. He's 39 now and has mellowed a lot. It took a few serious conversations from me to nudge him along but it has settled down hugely.

WilyWombat · 25/02/2009 20:52

Im with those thinking the skeleton is cool though, we'd have it in the hall with a hat and scarf on and a plastic sword through its ribs

You are possibly growing in different directions as you have been together since young - perhaps you both learn to compromise a bit and tolerate the differences.

LackaDAISYcal · 25/02/2009 21:02

He does sound soooo lovely disenchanted, but I can see why you are conflicted about his collecting habit getting to you. Try talking to him gently about how the state of the house is upsetting you?

princessmel · 25/02/2009 21:02

Just showed the pic of the skeleton to dh and he said 'why would you buy something like that?!!'

Sorry, not helpful

mrsmaidamess · 25/02/2009 21:11

I'm going to trot out the ame advice I always do when friends moan about their dh's...you cannot change him, you can only change your reaction to him. But some kind of compromise about maybe checking with uou first before he purchases anymore medical memorabillia might be good.

Also don't forget there maybe many things about you that piss him off .Not sure how helpful that is but you see what I mean, He may see you as too serious, or too disapproving of him etc .

BirdyArms · 25/02/2009 21:17

ROFL at the skeleton and the thought of having a shop dummy dressed as a storm trouper in the living room window.

I would think that your dh was a funny eccentric friend but I couldn't put up with it in my house. You need to find some sort of compromise.

cmotdibbler · 26/02/2009 14:32

Your DH is just like my friend. Adorable, generous, fantastic with the children - but an avid collector and embarrasing when out.

Friend is really bad when drunk as he does stuff that he thinks is funny, but which his DW cringes at. She sat him down and told him in exquisite detail just how she felt when he did this stuff (which would have been funny for an 18 year old, but not for a 35 yr old married man). Told him he could do whatever he liked if she wasn't there, but if he started on it when they were out together, she would go straight home. As all mutual friends supported her POV, they have now come to an agreement that he gets a warning if he is being embarrasing - but he never goes beyond that these days.

You have to talk to him about how you feel. Not when you are annoyed about it, but in a calm way when you have time to talk

mayorquimby · 26/02/2009 15:07

"Told him he could do whatever he liked if she wasn't there, but if he started on it when they were out together, she would go straight home. As all mutual friends supported her POV, they have now come to an agreement that he gets a warning if he is being embarrasing - but he never goes beyond that these days"

sorry but that sounds horrible and controlling. fair enough sometimes people need to be told when they've drank too much. but to have an actual system in place and her giving him warnings just sounds a bit too much to me.

solidgoldbullet4myvalentine · 26/02/2009 15:13

Do be aware that if you have a 'discussion' with him about how his hobbies are childish and embarrassing etc you need to listen to his reaction, which might be that you are a boring, conformist, narrow-minded herd animal with no life. Do you have any hobbies or interests? If not, why not try developing some?
Honestly, people who try to make the rest of their family modify behaviour which is unusual but not anti-social because of what the neighbours might think are lousy partners.

mollyroger · 26/02/2009 15:22

lol @ skeleton. My boys would adore that - ds (11) often asks where he can buy one from. But he is 11.

Then again, I would actually be grateful if my DH had a hobby of any description.

If your DH was your son, you would cherish the quirks, as prt of who is is. Love him unconditionally.
And although he does sound immature, I also thinks he does sound rather adorable.

Is he good in bed? Or does he fart around and behave like a school boy....he doesn't have special 'outfits' does he? Or - worse - a name for his penis??

mrsjammi · 26/02/2009 15:26

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