But HMC we suspect that AC's dw has not just no libido. She doesn't seem to want any physical contact at all, which is IMO one big step further on than having no libido.
AC I agree with lynny here. I honestly think that because you are not standing up for yourself and what you want (or need) from your relationship, your wife probably has little respect for you and your feelings. You seem to have little respect for your feelings yourself.
If you don't make some fuss, your wife may just feel that you are the one who doesn't want a physical relationship. Your ambivalence may have grown in her mind to be a positive rejection of her. She may even be having the same conversations with her friends as you are having here!
That's why I feel you need to communicate. I suspect you are both falling deeper and deeper into this hole, and if you said to her "This has got to stop" you may be able to pull each other out. If you let the fall continue, I suspect you will never recover.
I can't imagine what it must be like to live in a house with no affection. It seems so sad.
I do remember a friend of mine once telling me that there is nothing worse than being lonely within a relationship, that being lonely alone is a doddle by comparison. Think about it.