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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

My DH has stood by me through an awful lot

86 replies

NAB09 · 04/02/2009 12:44

Depression.
Family trouble.
Court case preparation.
Miscarriages.
Emotional affair.
Being stroppy.

What can I do to make it up to him? I love him so much and just want him to be happy again?

Still hoping for Friday night and Saturday day alone as kids going to his parents (he asked if we should go out.) but I want to start now.

I owe him everything.

OP posts:
thumbwitch · 05/02/2009 14:17

oh lovely, you have to let it out (thank goodness you're still here, your last post was quite worrying!) and where better than here? There is no point ignoring it because it will continue to fester - you have to address it, you have to excise it, so that the wound can heal. And then you will find the moving on and being the wife and mother you want to be so much easier.

Original poster
NAB09 · 05/02/2009 14:18

sorry, thumbwitch.

I have to get out of this whole and I don't know what to do.,

I used to clock watch to go and get the kids for something to do and now it is just a stress that I am going to b rubbish with them

i also feel like i have taken up enough of your time and i just need to be where there is no one else

OP posts:
thumbwitch · 05/02/2009 14:22

hey, don't worry about my time - I am happy to listen and help if poss.
Do you have some headphones? And some lovely relaxing music? can you go and have a lie down and listen for a while and lose yourself in the music before you have to go and get the kids?

Original poster
NAB09 · 05/02/2009 14:27

I just want to cry but wonder if I will ever stop. My chest is tight. I just want to run away.

OP posts:
thumbwitch · 05/02/2009 14:33

have you got any relaxation stuff at all? if not, then please go and get yourself some of these:

  1. Rescue remedy (or better still, Emergency Rescue Plus) - excellent for times of extreme distress and shock
  2. Roman chamomile essential oil
  3. Mandarin essential oil
  4. lavender essential oil

The rescue remedy is excellent for moments such as you are describing at the mo - I and my Dad both used it to good effect when we found out that Mum was dying.
The combination of those three essential oils is useful for relaxing and uplifting the mood - use them in an oil burner or on a hankie or something to sniff when you are feeling bad.

Original poster
NAB09 · 05/02/2009 14:36

are they okay to take with the ads i am on?

OP posts:
thumbwitch · 05/02/2009 14:43

the rescue remedy is ok with anything.

Lavender is a balancer
mandarin an uplifter
roman chamomile a soother and de-stresser.

Because you won't be taking them internally or on the skin, they won't interact with your ADs.
It's not like St John's Wort, which you should defo not take while on ADs.

Lizzylou · 05/02/2009 15:36

Glad you're still here Nab, Thumbwitch speaks sense

Original poster
NAB09 · 05/02/2009 16:19

Will get the rescue stuff on Saturday. I have used it before and hope it will help. I bought some homeopathic (I think it was that) stuff before and the GP just dismissed the but as long as they don't cause problems with my ADs I can't see it would hurt to try them. I will do anything. More sleep would be good too.

OP posts:
cheerfulvicky · 05/02/2009 18:18

Rescue remedy is lovely stuff, works for me anyhow!
Essential oils are also groovy, though I tend to put a few drops on a movable thing like a hanky etc and not on a pillow, in case it's too strong or I go off it

SnowlightMcKenzie · 05/02/2009 18:27

My DH is over the moon when I suggest the cinema for a crappy action sci fi. He knows I hate them so sees it as a real gesture of love if I go with him to watch one. Often he changes his mind at the last minute and chooses a film he thinks I will like too

thumbwitch · 05/02/2009 19:01

Ainsworth's Emeregency Recovery Plus is even better than standard Rescue Remedy but it isn't sold everywhere and their website is buggering around at the mo so I can't even link to it for you

Original poster
NAB09 · 06/02/2009 10:15

Have got some rescue rememdy as th eonly one I could remember. What do I do with it?

OP posts:
thumbwitch · 06/02/2009 17:50

So sorry, NAB - haven't been on much today (or gone all the way down the list of Threads I'm On).

Rescue remedy can either be dropped directly under the tongue (4 drops) every few hours, or you can put 4 drops in a glass of water and sip it over a couple of hours. Direct under the tongue is better for immediate results.

thumbwitch · 06/02/2009 17:51

So sorry, NAB - haven't been on much today (or gone all the way down the list of Threads I'm On).

Rescue remedy can either be dropped directly under the tongue (4 drops) every few hours, or you can put 4 drops in a glass of water and sip it over a couple of hours. Direct under the tongue is better for immediate results.

How are you feeling today, anyway? I hope things are looking more positive. Was DH home earlier last night?

thumbwitch · 06/02/2009 17:53

flippin computer! [grr]

Original poster
NAB09 · 06/02/2009 18:11

Will have some now.

Hope it works. Not in a good way today.

OP posts:
Original poster
NAB09 · 06/02/2009 18:13

He was home at 7.30 last night and should be back at 7 tonight.

OP posts:
thumbwitch · 06/02/2009 18:51

oh dear - i hope you have a nice evening together. haveyou got something nice for dinner?

Original poster
NAB09 · 06/02/2009 21:06

I cheated and bought ready prepared food.

OP posts:
pagwatch · 06/02/2009 21:12

NAB
thats not cheating. that is planning

Original poster
NAB09 · 06/02/2009 21:15
Smile
OP posts:
ThumbLoveWitch · 06/02/2009 22:37

hope your meal went down well NAB - I agree, that is excellent forethought, not cheating at all!

Original poster
NAB09 · 08/02/2009 17:14

The food was really nice. So nice to be able to eat a bit earlier and not have the kids come down and scare the life out of me when they just appear!

OP posts:
ThumbLoveWitch · 09/02/2009 00:13

How was your weekend, NAB? How are you feeling now? Of course, you should be in bed, so I probably won't get an answer until tomorrow. Thinking of you anyway.