can you get over violence in a marriage?

[timeforchange]

That is all i'm wondering really. Dh and i have been violent to eachother in the past (most recently 1 yr ago). Usually started by me in response to something completely dreadful he's said to me - not that that excuses it. However I've been left with a permanent injury which is likely to have been caused by him 5 years ago. We are trying to make things work (there are many other issues and we're seeing a counsellor together) but I'm not sure i can ever feel close or want to be close to him again. I also soemtimes have to take medication to get to sleep if we have a row as he says such awful things and otherewiae i'd be awake all night thinking about his horrible words. I suffer from nightmares about him. I'm wondering if there is any point to continuing with the counselling and the marriage?

me (mamazon)

Please look at the freedom programme website and perhaps see if there is a course being run near you.

You can go on the course even if you are living with a controlling or abusive partner and the people running the programme will be able to give you advice and support to do what you want to to do.

TFC, if I asked you to describe your ideal world in 5yrs time what would it look like?

to be with a loving partner who i felt safe and happy with and for ds to be growing up in a happy, loving, stable home

mrspnut - why do you think he's controlling/abisive. He can be so nice and forgivng of all my moods too. I'm only just being civil to him and he still came to ask me if i wanted a drink

TFC - what your saying is that you feel he would be better off without you?

i just dont understnad what it is you want advice on

TFC - what's the most immediate obstacle in the way of your 5yr goal?

LL - immeidiater obstacle is me and h being together i suppose

FWIW I think you have come to the right decision.
It may be only a step to achieving your goal, but it's the most important one and probably the hardest of all.