TFC has it ever crossed your mind that in practically every domestically abusive relationship the abused blames themselves and says that they provoked the attacks? You sound like a cliche! I'm sure you think that your situation is different from all those others, but the truth is that is exactly what all the others believe too!
Doesn't matter what you did to "provoke" violence, it is never OK for it to get to that point. If your partner feels he is so angry he may hit you the healthy response, is to WALK AWAY. In much the same way that it is normal to sometimes feel so angry at your kids that you feel you may be violent, but it is NEVER OK to act on that impulse.
Also cliche in domestically abusive relationships is for the abuser to engineer situations so that the abused feels they are as you put it- "No Saint" in the relationship, i.e. responsible for their own abuse. The emotional and mental manipulation are all part and parcel of the abuse.
You're probably sitting there reading this thinking "Well that's not the case with our relationship, we're different." Let me assure you, that's what every woman in your situation thinks.
Gah! Every time I come on mumsnet I go to the relationships threads and post pleading, begging, reasoning posts to women stuck in these hideous relationships. This is because I watched my mum get beat up most of my childhood and it fucked up the entire family. I want for that not to happen to anyone else, I want the kids watching terrified like I did as my mum was beaten and strangled to have the nightmare end. I want the kids living in the constant eggshell walking, calm before the storm houses to know a happy, healthy household and NOT grow up with a fucking anxiety disorder like me. But I know... I know that I may as well be talking to a brick wall.
Sigh.