Lack of sex drive is causing a big rift ...

[Slave2Babe]

i know, well i hope, that this is a common one ...

since first becomming pregnant my sex drive took a real dive . my dd is now 5.5 months old and i still find it difficult to 'get in the mood'.

dh is feeling rejected and thinks i dont find him attractive cos i never make a move on him.

with looking after a very active baby at home all day, breastfeeding, fitting in work (about 8 hours a day) at home and keeping the house tidy, i'm often too knackered to even think about it!

i dont know why i dont feel like it and i dont know how to change things ....

dh had an affair before he knew i was pregnant. it ended when i found out at about 5 months. we worked thru it. he thinks that when we do have sex its to keep him happy and stop him straying

Get a babysitter at least one night a month. You need to be away from the baby and all those milk hormones before you can feel even remotely human. The memory of the affair must be having an effect too.

Explain that you need TLC and relaxation and time. I found that with a baby in the house foreplay went out of the window as we were always trying to finish before he woke up or so that we could get some sleep.

a friend has offered to look after baba so we can go out for a drink or spend some time together - maybe its time to call in that favour!

We're just getting our sex life back on track now - DD is 11 months old

You feel like that because your body hasn't settled back down post birth and neither have your hormones, because you have many demands on your time and body from your new baby, because you are adjusting to be a mum and not just a me. And because its knackering being a mum

And its totally normal (took a year after DS too)

HTH

Slave2Babe, you're being far to hard on yourself. Sounds like you've gone through a rollercoaster ride of emotions over the last 1-2 yrs. You need to recover physically/emotionally. I've got a 5 & 2 yr old and my husband's lucky to get within a mile of me once every 3 months! It took 2 years after our first child to strike up the energy to do it and my husband joked that night...'you'll probably fall pregnant now and we won't do it again for another 3 years!!!'.....hey presto, pregnant with no.2!!!!