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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

so angry i could explode - irrational?

77 replies

huggybear · 05/04/2005 15:50

My 2 year old is a happy, bright, confident little boy, he is well behaved and pleasent.

I'm so so angry with my Bil, he calls my son 'Johnney the comdom' and calls him a wussy boy and a puff and basically takes the piss out of him - hes 2 YEARS OLD FFS

its because ds plays with his cousins pushchair and dolls or plays with there dressing up clothes or even cause he likes to try mommys shoes on - all completely normal stuff

It really pissing me off cause i know my son is wonderful and to see his little face when his uncle takes the piss out of him is horrible (although he probably cant understand what the words mean he can definatly understand the 'in taking the piss' tone of voice)

i really feel like i hate this man - i ussually just ignore him or if i try and make a point of asking him not to speak to ds like this i get my mil and him telling me not to be ridiculas (sp?)

am so so pissed off

havent even seen him today, the thread about boys and dolls made me realise how angry i was with his behaviour but im also worried i may be being irrational

OP posts:
fastasleep · 05/04/2005 15:51

Johnney the condom????? What an absolute ARSE! Give him a slap!!! (Sorry)

tiredemma · 05/04/2005 15:52

how old is this man? he is behving like a child. id be outraged if someone spoke to my son like that.

fastasleep · 05/04/2005 15:52

Give your bloomin MIL a good talking to as well! What an awful way to act your DS sounds lovely.

Laylasmum · 05/04/2005 15:53

I don't think you're being irrational i think he's being very cruel. I'm afraid if it was my DD i would go mental. Poor little mite!!

wild · 05/04/2005 15:53

the man has serious issues if he needs to taunt a 2 year old playing
YOU are not the irrational one
he sounds deeply unpleasant and screwed up tbh

Mum2girls · 05/04/2005 15:54

I would have a serious talk with this man - this is awful and your poor little bioy shouldn't be subjected to this verbal abuse. Personally, I would be tempted to tell him to keep his f*cking nasty comments to himself.

Am furious by proxy.

Fio2 · 05/04/2005 15:54

my son told me the other day he and his friend ( a boy) were going to give me gradndchilren. i smiled.

just remind your BIL how ignorant he is, or think of some sarcastic backliners. Like "are you uncomfortable with your sexuality?" or something less obvious

Original poster
huggybear · 05/04/2005 15:55

he's 30, married with 2 dds so he ought to know how to be around kids.

His whole family think im being stupid and childish if i try to say something to them. I put up with him taking the piss out of me but i wont put up with him taking the piss out of my baby.

OP posts:
wild · 05/04/2005 15:55

and my ds LOVEs my boots
and watching me make-up
perfectly normal!

saadia · 05/04/2005 15:55

He's an idiot, and he's being very cruel.

tarantula · 05/04/2005 15:55

Irrational???? Def not Tell him that if he has a problem with it then its obviuosly down to envy and he must have suppressed homosexual tendencies and that he shoudl really think deeply about it. That might shut him up.

Know the feeling though as BIL did take the mickey out of dss's doll but as I said on theother thread he was on a wind up and boy did I get wound up.

bundle · 05/04/2005 15:56

teasing is a form of bullying, and this man is a bully. tell him you do not like the way he talks to your son and that you won't tolerate it.

vict17 · 05/04/2005 15:56

I think you need to tell your dh to have a word with his brother as this behaviour is out of order.

fastasleep · 05/04/2005 15:57

Don't take it Huggybear! You don't deserve it either!

fastasleep · 05/04/2005 15:58

I still want to slap him! Hormones are raging....does he live near Liverpool?

runtus · 05/04/2005 15:58

I would just say that to them all as a group, whether they think you are being irrational or not - he is your son and you have the right to ask them to modify their behaviour.

What does your Dp have to say about it all? Could you get him to back you up.

If your MIL says anything I would try to remind her that you are the parent and she is the grandparent that is supposed to set the good example.

If all else fails, take the piss out of them constantly and see how they like it!

Original poster
huggybear · 05/04/2005 16:02

dh have a word with his brother its more likely that i'd win the lottery! dh just says to ignore him, which, if directed at me then i can but surely to ignore someone taking the piss oput of your 2 year old is wrong. But they dont take me seriously and i think its because of my age. My mil is a polition (sp?) and a few of you will probably know who she is (twinklemommy will) she is used to giving her opinion and being obeyed.

i feel like slaping him. He came with my to the nursery the other week and said "come on, little comdom" to my ds in front of the nursery nurse and later the nursery nurse said "im really sorry but that mans a prat!"

OP posts:
Fio2 · 05/04/2005 16:03

ask him if he knows how to put a condom on, bet he doesnrt bet he rolls it the wrong way

Janos · 05/04/2005 16:04

No, you are definetely NOt being irrational. I too would be FUMING. I was just so on your (and your DS's) behalf when I read this.

Hope you don't think I'm putting it too strongly, but I feel this is a form of child abuse. Does your little DS have to see this horrible man? And why does a so-called grown man need his mummy to stick up for him. What an utter, utter *rsehole. feel sorry for his children.

How DARE he speak to a 2 year old in that way.

fastasleep · 05/04/2005 16:04

Give her some of her own medicine, you can do it! I'd tell your BIL what an absolute arse he is and I'd tell your husband he's being pathetic and wimpy and not setting good standards by letting this slip! Bah you have a right to get angry about this...

Original poster
huggybear · 05/04/2005 16:06

he thinks hes funny. he thinks that im uptight because i dont like it. I used to get on with him really well until i had ds2 - not sure what changed, now hes really funny with me, calls me fat and ugly and takes the piss out of my kids. My dh thinks he's just jealous, not sure what hes jealous of though, hes married and has 2 kids too

OP posts:
HappyDaddy · 05/04/2005 16:07

I would be as furious as you. What a bully and a pr(ck. I bet he feels really clever taunting a 2yr old.

fastasleep · 05/04/2005 16:07

seriously I'm going to come and slap him!

Pinotmum · 05/04/2005 16:09

No way would I put up with this. Do you get on with them otherwise? I don't really like my dh's family so would have stopped visiting by now - any excuse really . I think your bil is jealous because as he is so obviously "the missing link" he probably wanted boys not girls but now he has girls he has to put down boys iyswim. Just say to him how lucky you are to have such a "new man" unlike all those neanderthals of "our" generation. What does your dh think? Personally I think your bil needs his knob removed as it must keep getting in his eyes

wild · 05/04/2005 16:10

I don't think he has a knob