Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

so angry i could explode - irrational?

77 replies

huggybear · 05/04/2005 15:50

My 2 year old is a happy, bright, confident little boy, he is well behaved and pleasent.

I'm so so angry with my Bil, he calls my son 'Johnney the comdom' and calls him a wussy boy and a puff and basically takes the piss out of him - hes 2 YEARS OLD FFS

its because ds plays with his cousins pushchair and dolls or plays with there dressing up clothes or even cause he likes to try mommys shoes on - all completely normal stuff

It really pissing me off cause i know my son is wonderful and to see his little face when his uncle takes the piss out of him is horrible (although he probably cant understand what the words mean he can definatly understand the 'in taking the piss' tone of voice)

i really feel like i hate this man - i ussually just ignore him or if i try and make a point of asking him not to speak to ds like this i get my mil and him telling me not to be ridiculas (sp?)

am so so pissed off

havent even seen him today, the thread about boys and dolls made me realise how angry i was with his behaviour but im also worried i may be being irrational

OP posts:
Pinotmum · 05/04/2005 16:11

It;'s under his fringe!

Pinotmum · 05/04/2005 16:12

Is his mother Ann Widdicome? Oh that's where his knob is then

wild · 05/04/2005 16:13

oh, THAT
thought it was a boil

fastasleep · 05/04/2005 16:13

Print out the thread and post it through their doors Huggybear!

piffle · 05/04/2005 16:13

I find a quick takes on to know one sorts them out, or as my son says when he gets called a poof, (he is 11)
you'd know you chocolate pipe engineer.

bundle · 05/04/2005 16:13

pinotmum, AW has never had sex....!!!

Janos · 05/04/2005 16:13

'He thinks he's funny' !

Yes, adults who taunt and abuse small children are hilariously funny.

Sorry huggy this thread has touched a bit of a raw nerve with me because I remember being subject to the same sort of behaviour as a child and it's just not on.

You say your mil is a politican..not a T*ry by any chance?

wild · 05/04/2005 16:14

he was created not begotten bundle

Original poster
huggybear · 05/04/2005 16:15

i normally get on with him really well, its like he just cant help having his snide remarks though,

im going to have to tell him, next time imhere im going to say that i dont think its acceptable for him to be calling my son names and making him feel insecure about himself

and if they laugh or dont listen then they can all take a running jump off a cliff....
or else i'll push them

its not fair that ds has to be taken the piss out of him and its my job as a mother to shield him from it and that means keeping him away from his uncle. thats what i'll do

OP posts:
tarantula · 05/04/2005 16:15

Maybe you should expose her to the local paper Create a huge scandal etc etc.

Original poster
huggybear · 05/04/2005 16:16

Janos - lib dem

OP posts:
HappyDaddy · 05/04/2005 16:18

If your mil's a lib dem, what makes her think people do as she wants? It's not like she's ever going to have any power. Maybe that's their whole problem.

bundle · 05/04/2005 16:19

sorry

Original poster
huggybear · 05/04/2005 16:20

lol

she's already in power, or at least round here. She is the council person for birmingham or something (d'oh - dont give too much away about your self will you huggy?) and goes to lots of meetings, allocates government money and lots of stuff in the council house.

OP posts:
Janos · 05/04/2005 16:21

You say you get on with him - do you think he would take it seriously if you approached him to discuss the subject, huggybear? It does sound like he has some issues, quite frankly, not that it's any excuse of course.

And I'm shocked she's a lib-dem - I thought they were supposed to be err..liberal and tolerant?

Well done you for not completely losing your temper. You're obviously a much better person than he is.

Janos · 05/04/2005 16:22

Huggybear, I'm really sorry if that sounded patronising - I didn't mean it to!

HappyDaddy · 05/04/2005 16:24

Big fish in a small pond, is she? and bil sounds like he needs a good slap.

Original poster
huggybear · 05/04/2005 16:24

she is tolerant - as long as you do as your told!

im going to say something to him next time i see him, not infront of people but when he's alone (although that could be difficult as for some strange reason he will never be alone with me lately - i think him and his wife have argued lately) and maybe he'll take me seriously then, i ought to give him the chance to act like an adult and apoligise before i cut his knob off!

OP posts:
Original poster
huggybear · 05/04/2005 16:26

janos - i just scanned through your messages to try and find the patronising bit - i could find it!

OP posts:
Caligula · 05/04/2005 16:26

I'd ask the guy if he was impotent and laugh about impotence the whole time he was round.

I'd be very annoyed if someone taught my 2 year old the word condom actually, apart from anything else.

And as for calling you fat and ugly - well call me militant, but no-one who insulted me in that way would be welcome in my home or near my children and tbh I think your DH needs to get tough on this. Fat and ugly are extremely personal unpleasant insults and in normal families, they are not used without ensuing rifts!

Original poster
huggybear · 05/04/2005 16:26

shit - meant to say couldnt

OP posts:
Original poster
huggybear · 05/04/2005 16:27

and he's very nearly bald

OP posts:
HappyDaddy · 05/04/2005 16:27

maybe his wife thinks he's a tw*t, too. can't think why.

Bugsy2 · 05/04/2005 16:28

Your bil is so incredibly unfunny on this issue. Your two year old is a preposterously easy target: he is small, can't answer back & is being ridiculed by someone who ostensibly loves him.
You have to speak out. Just say that you "feel" really hurt & upset when you hear your bil make those comments. Use the "feel" word - no one can deny you those!!!!
I really think you have to knock this line of commentry from bil on the head - it is outrageous.

Easy · 05/04/2005 16:31

Huggybear

You need to take your BIL (and possibly also your dh) to one side, and say that you do not think it is funny, it is not acceptable language to use in front of any child, esp. not YOUR son, and you want it to stop. Make it clear that you will not expose your son to such treatment, and if theyu can't stop, then you will take your children home, and your BIL will not be welcome to visit.

I would also make sure that BIL knows how the nursery staff reacted to his comments.

Basically, being rude and crude is NEVER clever, especially when it's targetted at someone who can't retaliate (like your little ds).

BTW they'll call you snobbish or something (that sort always do), but stick to your principals.