How do you know when it's over?

[geisha]

Outside of abusive or unfaithful marriages - how do you know when it's time to stop trying?

At the moment we are going to continue to share a room as he is determined to conceal the situation from the children and he says he accepts that the marriage is over. I don't want to do this, but am putting the girls first because at present I feel I can put up with this. I don't want to tell the girls without his agreement if it's avoidable, although he says he wants this state to continue until they are both adults. I don't honestly think they would look back and thank us for it.

I will try to do as he wants, for as long as I can bear it. On a purely practical note, it would be difficult to move out and remaining in the marital home gives me the opportunity to save some money. My plan is to save enough for a deposit on a small house, probably on a shared-ownership scheme since I'm a 'keyworker' and would qualify.

He is not now planning to seek advice or to discuss this with anyone, although I have urged him to do so. In his words, 'there is no-one that matters'.