Quick marriage! what would u do?

[anuvaname]

Me and DP got engaged may last year and was planning on getting wed next year 2010, but recently had after personal circumstances my DP is going to prison. Will be sentenced mid Feb,prob looking at a year and half with good behaviour.
He earlier mentioned going to Las Vegas or registry office and getting wed before his sentencing date then have a big doo when he gets out. I thought he was joking but he wasnt,i cant stop thinking about it now. Maybe we should wait so theres something to look forward to.
What would u do? what do u think?

the trial was only yesterday,i sat there and watched my fiance get found guilty!
I know what u mean liffyoink fanx,i would prob be the same if i was one of yous,its just hard to hear people bad mouth the one u love! I was appalled when i found out too but being with him for 4 years have got used to it and didnt think he would get into trouble again but it did.

and what will you do if his violence/ convictions continue?

Exactly! You didn't think he would get into trouble but he has. That is why people are saying are you sure he really would not hit you or his child.

MIne WAS violent. For ages I was in denial. I DID leave him though.

So I kind of have a radar for denial.

lulumama-well hed ave to make sure it didnt and id deal with that if it happened.
Nab- are u sure u wouldnt get hit by ur DP/DH? no, no one is so that cant be said!

Nobody has a crystal ball, but some men have more anger in them than other men.

A very calm laid back gentle man isn't going to hit you. A man with a history of violence and over reacting to a stranger's provocation .........well, Madame Zelda here says watch your back.

agree with liffey

i could say with 100 % certainty my DH would not hit me, a stranger, get embroield with road rage etc etc

it is just not his nature

i thnk sometimes you have to look at the stark truth

he has been convicted twice and sent to prison twice

that is twice more than a lot of men

do you want to commit to marriage and children with him?

Believe me, I know my DH would never hit me. The difference is mine has never hit anyone, yours has.

I agree with what ur saying but i know my DP and if it ever did happen god forbid i would be straight out of there,but no one can say that just coz hes got a conviction of GBH he IS going to hit his wife.
Yes i do want to marry this man (maybe not atm), ill be back on here in 10/15 years proving u all wrong

Think you will need to get married in this country ultimately.

He won't get entry to the US with his previous convictions; he can forget about that right now. At the very least he will need to come to the US Embassy in London to have a face to face interview. They will likely decline him entry on the grounds of his previous conviction and they also do not have to give him a reason for refusal.

Convictions for GBH as well are not given out lightly. I can imagine the police pressed for such charges to be made against him; they had a strong case. You cannot blame the jury for the decision; these are twelve members of the general public who have heard the evidence presented to them and made a decision based on that.

good luck, i think you will need it

"I'll be back on here in 10/15 years proving u all wrong"

I hope the above phrase never comes back to haunt you.

just to clarify/understand:
your dp was involved in a road rage incident with someone who has two prior convictions for road rage and who unprovoked got out of his car and grabbed your dp by the throat
your dp whilst defending himself managed to get a 3 year sentence for gbh for that?

SOrry I posted on your last thread about this. I really think you need to wait. I know my dh wont hit me as he's never hit anyone in his life and we've been married for nearly 14 years and he's never shown any signs of being violent to anyone and has never broken the law.

Do you mind me asking how old you are? PLease think carefully before making any decisions.

there was verbal abuse by both of then parties, there is more story to this which id rather nt get into but they was both winding each other up n the road.
Im nt gonna say how old i am,im slightly younger tho and before u all say what i think ur gna say then id rather nt hear it if its about age!

id wait til he was in the clink and run the fuck away.very fast

WHat happened to the other person?

I'm guessing you are 17?

id rather not get back onto talk of the trial tbh,

ha no nt that young!

I mean what conviction did the other person get?

Thats ok, at least he didnt father a child with a minor on top of everything else.

gbh is a serious charge and not something levelled for verbal abuse..are you aware of that?

Have you got family to help you and support you when he is in prison?

How do you know the other guy has previous convictions for road rage? Surely there has to more to it than driving like an idiot.

Were you in the car with him when this happened?