Mothers-in-law

[beebs]

Antonia

Count yourself lucky your mother in law is so keen on your offspring. I've had a rocky relationship with mine over the years, my chief gripe being that she appears not to be that interested in her grandchildren (two dds, 2 and 6)and does not actually enjoy buying toys for them because she cannot relate to children playing.

Things are better as they get older and I realise the problem is that she does not know how to play or imagine herself into a child's position.

I hate to say this last bit, but as your precious offspring grows older he or she will cast wooden toys aside and positively adore the plastic ones. Sorry, but there it is. In the end, however many wooden toys you supply, he or she will make his/her own mind up. I suggest letting the relationship between grandmother and grandchild blossom in its own way - you are lucky.

Some of these stories are unbelievable! I am sitting here at my computer in awe - especially over you have suffered, CHARLIE'SMUMMY! What a nutjob she is..

Myy partner's mother - very nice woman, and very generous. While she buys gifts that I would not necessarily have picked out, I realize she puts a tremendous amount of time and effort into it, and absolutely adores her grandchildren.

So here is my gripe (because there has to be one, doesn't there?) - every time she sees my dd, she oohs and ahhs over how pudgy she is - she says "look at you, you fat little girl!" and when she picks her up "what are they feeding you?!?" Last weekend, we moved, so she watched dd for us. When she came back she was exclaiming over how much she ate - 1 and 1/2 jars of food - for all day! (she is 9 mos. old).

I don't get it - dd is very long, and thin - just like her dad (lucky girl!). I, on the other hand, am short and "curvy" (sounds so much better than "round!" When we took dd to the doc. last week, she said dd was in the 90% for height, and only 20% for weight - I told partner's mother this, and she said "see? I told you she was pudgy!" and I had to explain to her that that meant that 80% of the children her age weigh more than her!

I do not want my little girl growing up with a weight concern - eating disorders lurk around every corner, and I want her to always be comfortable with who she is. Has anyone else dealt with this? Am I totally overreacting to this situation?

By the way - this woman is also very tall and thin, and I wonder if she is worried that dd has my genes! They are always proudly exclaiming how dd looks just like her dad, and did I have anything to do with her? Grrrrrrrr!!!! Real great sense of humor!

I have a cassette tape with MIFH singing - yes yes singing solo and no backing track (just to soften the blow) that Bet Midler classic of her lifetime 'You are the Wind beneath my Sails' the B side of her chosen tune is 'I'm not in love ' that last dance classic of the 80's by 10cc. If we need a laugh on it goes ... my girfriends always put in a request if the evening starts to flag a bit. This tape was sent to the local police where we used to live, with; this is for a missing person who is my hero, all this on the envelope, along with mummy loves you, come home and SWALK!!

My MIL is aggressively teetotal. Hence, no one is allowed to drink AT ALL. If you go to her house, even for Xmas lunch, there is a large jug of orange squash (the cheapest, most additive filled kind) sitting pointedly on the table. Nothing makes me want strong alcohol, and lots of it, more than visiting her.

Blimey! Just realised I've bumped an extremely old thread! How did that happen? Oh, well!

I'm one of the lucky ones who does have great in laws my poor mum was not. Her MIL, one Christmas at a get together accused my Mum of wearing a wig, simply because my Mum had put her hair in rollers and made it look lovely. My Mum argued the toss with her and said it was her own hair and to pull it if she didn't believe her, thinking that she wouldn't be so cruel as to do that. What did she do? In front of everyone she grabbed a fistful of Mum's hair and yanked it upwards so hard that she made my Mum's eyes water

OMG Louise - that is pure evil... What would make someone do that???xxxx

I was visiting my MIL with my dp one day when some old friends of hers arrived, we were all chatting when her friend brought up the subject of how worried she was about her own son. He had got involved with 'the wrong sort of woman', she was sure she was only with him for his money, and how she could only make his life a misery.

Dp's mother's reply to her was "I know how you feel but all you can do is look at them, cross your fingers and hope that they will see sense and it will be ok in the end, not looking at anyone in particular..." She then looked directly at my dp, BTW I was sat next to him!!!!!!!!!