can I ask a really personal question about sex?

[panni]

I have changed my name to ask this because I am embarressed but I promise I am a regular.

I love my DP with all my heart and really fancy him. but I regularly fake an orgasm during sex.

I do enjoy sex with him but don't orgasm through through penentration alone. I do orgasm during forplay with DP but then i fake it during sex because i don't want him to feel bad.

Does anyone else ever do this?

No, never faked it. I think I'm right in saying that most women do not orgasm by penetration alone so you're not alone.

Would it not be better to be honest with him?

No - it's very uncommon to orgasm through penetration alone so he or you really shouldn't feel bad if you don't.

I know i shouldn't have ever faked it but after all these years how do i say i have faked it all this time?

If he can bring you to orgasm during foreplay, why are you faking it during penetration - why do you feel the need to? I have my orgasm during foreplay, DH has his during penetration - I enjoy that bit but it doesn't do it for me, iyswim. But it wouldn't occur to me to fake another orgasm - my reactions show DH I'm enjoying myself and that seems fine for both of us!

That's a really difficult one. it's going to be tough without hurting his feelings I think.

I used to fake it when i was younger, now i could be arsed

Lots of women dont reach the big O through penetration, its perfectly normal and if your dp knows anything about women he should know this, and know this is not any reflection on how good he is at sex

If he doesnt know then he need educating

I personally wouldn't tell him you've been faking, but stop faking from now on, and somehow encourage him to help out more in other ways!

slayerette, i don't know. When we first met I couldn't orgasm either way really, and didn't want him to feel bad so faked it.

Now I can oragsm during forplay but don't know how to tell him i was faking

I dont orgasm through penetrative sex, have never faked it with dh, he knows I dont and we make sure we have plenty of fun before hand so that I can orgasm

odearyme, thats a good idea! I so desperately don't want to hurt his feelings

Fake it during sex less and less frequently so he doesn't notice, or tell him that 'today' it isn't doing it for you like that so could he do something else as you think it might work better...

I wouldn't tell him you've been pretending all this time as that'll play on his mind now but try to encourage to have more foreplay if that is what dings your bell. I found through trial and error that penetration would have to be more vigorous if it was going to get me going but after my ex put his back once trying this , we had to be more careful and it proved to be foreplay to be the key. Trouble then once I was satisfied, I used to lose concentration on the rest as my immediate needs were satisfied. Maybe i should have been born a man .

As a suggestion.... let dear? push into you firmly, as if to have sex, but let him push in and stay still for a while. then.. Instead of him moving in and out, let him push into you to rock you back and forth. Just small rocks to move you, but he doesn't move out of you at all. Try that for about 10 or 15 minutes and see if that does anything for you.

The next step would be for the dear? to push into you harder and rock you back and forth.