Started seeing a new lad, have no idea how interested he is and its driving me mad!

[allgonebellyup]

We've only been seeing each other a couple of weeks, he is younger than me (23 to my 29)and he lives at home with his parents.
We have slept together twice already (ooops!)and i really like him.
When we are together he is really affectionate, always kissing me/my hair, and holding my hand etc.

Then when we are apart he never texts or calls me at all. If i text him first he will nearly always reply and if i call he will happily chat on the phone.
But if i leave it up to him i dont hear a thing!!
Its doing my head in, i dont know if i am just a quick fling or if he really likes me?

WHAT!!

You've only been seeing him for a couple of weeks and you're expecting him to text you constantly. He doesn't even know what your expectations are, yet now you are calling him a b.

Respect yourself and respect him.

He asked you out on Friday and Saturday - that sounds pretty keen. Why on earth are you imagining that one day without a text means that the arrangements have changed. Accept that the arrangement is the arrangement. And look forward to it.

Sorry for rant - I sound like somebody's mother (Oh, actually, I am)

could be a good reason
might still be at work?
busy?
or is he on a PAYG phone and not topped up yet?
please chill
know it's hard
keep busy
have a nice dinner/some vino
soak in bath

oh i was only jesting about the bastard bit!!!! lol

i am just sick of doing all the running with men lately, its doing my head in. So not partucularly this bloke's fault.

Have had lots of going-nowhere flings lately and its just made me a bit paranoid i guess.

notsoclever
hehe!!love it!!
could do with your wise words myself sometimes!!

He is unemployed at the moment so i know he has shit loads of time, whereas i work full time and still find time to wind myself up over it all!

and he has a posh contract phone too!

great, now the babysitter i had planned for tomorrow night is pestering me to see if i still need him, i said i didnt know, and now he is peed off and called me "rude" for not letting him know!!

FFS please get a grip on yourself or he will be running for the hills however keen he might have been in the beginning. Nothing is more off-putting than the partner of a week or two who is constantly bleating for attention and reassurance - unless it's the one who decides, without any discussion at all, that this is a Serious Relationship when the other person was just seeing how things go and not particularly looking to choose engagement rings yet. Many men (and well-adjusted women) manage to spend the majority of their day thinking about stuff other than Our Relationship, whether that's the DCs ballet exam, what's on telly tonight, whether or not you'll get promoted or will those sausages still be all right for tea? Please find yourself something else to think about - and do make sure there are things in your life that matter as much (and hopefully more) than the possiblity of having a couple-relationship as they are not the answer to everything and can in fact make an OK life a much worse one.

still saying chill chick
but hell i'm so crap with all this too
has he given you any reason to doubt your plans for w/e?

solidgold - i have plenty of stuff to keep me going, i have started a job i LOVE in a secondary school which keeps me busy all day, i dont even take my phone to school with me as i am so busy!

Actually everything in my life is great, and a huge part of me is reluctant to get involved with someone, a part of me is hoping this doesnt go anywhere as i dont want to get hurt and my life is great at the moment - i dont know if you have read any of my other threads but i had a truly horrid 18ths, and feel i am coming out the other side!

And i do have my pride, the last thing i would do is let him know how much i am thinking about it all, in fact he calls me "the ice queen" !!

sorry, that was all a bit heavy!

He isn't being a bastard I don't think. He may well be sitting there dreaming of you all day long. They don't necessarily like to text as much as us girls do. My DH didn't even know how to text when i met him and he'd had his phone two years! Even now he only does one word replies. He's just not as chatty as me! And that is often the case with blokes. It does NOT mean he isn't interested. I would think he is definately on for Fri and Sat but doesn't think he needs to re-confirm this every half an hour by text! Stop panicking and try to make yourself busy with other stuff so you don't become all desperate. Leave him to do the chasing. Seriously they love it. The less you text, the more he'll start texting. Mite take him a while but he'll start chasing if you stop being so needy.
Good luck!

peasoup - yeah i know!

though when he does text, he sends 3 page essays that practically send me to sleep..zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

agree with peasoup
think agbu needs a break
it is all v confusing/scary when you start dating again after being in a long term relationship like most of us on here and for alot of us we were considerably younger too and didn't have the use of mobiles/emails
has babysitter given you some kind of availability timescale?

I would totally advise telling the babysitter "Yes", then at least you can go for a big nite out even if by some slim chance he does blow you out. Even if it's just to go round to a mates house with a bottle of wine to winge about him! Definately better to go out than stay in and mope. So book that babysitter NOW!

Think solidgold made an excellent post. It is sometimes hard, but trust me she is right!

The more time you spend doing other things than texting him, the more you have to speak about when you do meet up.

If someone texted me more than once or twice in a day I would seriously consider changing my phone number. Eeek!

duke, one day we texted about 25 times!!!

obviously not today!!

I do think an excellent dating rule is '3-Maximum'. This means that you never make more than three approaches in a row to another person without some reciprocation ie you phone someone and he/she isn't there so you leave a message = no more than 3 messages if he/she hasn't phoned you back; you ask someone on a date and if he/she makes an excuse, however believeable, you ask no more than 3 times (because it's possible that a person can be genuinely otherwise engaged 3 times but if he/she wants to go out with you he/she will then suggest a meeting/date) and never, ever, ever more than 3 texts/emails in a row without recieving an answer.
Because more than 3 goes = desperate stalker, or at least that's how it comes across to the other person.

oh my god, i would never message him 3 times without a reply!!! in fact not even twice!

jesus, my point was that although he does always reply when i text him, if i leave it, he will NEVER text first!!! so i am just waiting here for him to contact me first.

Although i think i have come to a decision, that i dont really want to be with anyone at the moment cos i cant cope with all the hassle and i dont want to get hurt.

So even if he does make contact, which i doubt he will, im going to tell him to leave it.

xx

Typical!! As i was typing out last message on here, he texted!!!
Asked how his "lovely lady" was and how my day went! with lots of kisses

ah thank fcuk!!
so you going to still tell him where to go then lol?

er..yeah..maybe?!!

he has texted me twice since then, i didnt reply to the last one, and he still sent another saying "cant wait to see you!" xxx

er maybe NOT me thinks!!

im just playing hard to get for a while....

oh god, its going to happen all over again today!!! i doubt he will want to make first contact again!

behave lol!!
thought you were going out tonite?
stop fretting
have a large vino
get yourself ready
andenjoy