Partner walked out, easier to meet new man + have dream life if i abort his baby?

[kleio]

I found out i'm pregnant; it's a contraception failure. Not sure about abortion and/or trying to get a new life. I'm still quite young; don't have my career established (in process); i wanted to have kids in my 30s and live in the country and give up work to be there for my children, but now it's all gone wrong with this accident. I feel really sorry for the baby-to-be messed up in this, it's growing inside me and i'm ho huming about whether to destroy it.

The man who assured me we he wanted that traditional life with me has left me after telling me i had ruined his life and why didn't i have an abortion and not tell him? He keeps saying 'an abortion is the right thing to do'. He's stopped that now that he has and gone off with an old (prettier) friend of his who is also very traditional, but without 'baggage' and who also wants this future. So basically, whether i keep the pregnancy or terminate my partner is now my ex so my dreams are .

I don't know what to do. I don't want to be on my own.
This afternoon i was talking to a mutual friend of ours (who doesn't know i'm pregnant) who i realised was an excellent match for me, i'd never realised before, he is single and interested. Suddenly i was seeing men everywhere where before i'd seen only my partner! My self esteem sky rocketed as i realised there were definitly be other, even more suitable men out there. But if i have this child by my ex, surely, my chance of meeting someone else and having this nice future and children with him are ruined? At least for a few years? For some ladies who don't care about having a man around you might not understand my attitude, but i only feel happy when i have someone to dote on me and vice versa.

I'm over 10 weeks and was told the procedure would be quite painful...this isn't something i want to do or do lightly. It would never have crossed my mind had mr. not-so-right-anymore had not have walked out on me.

I am disliking 2009 already.

Yes Kleio has been back:

"I wish i could see the future. I once vowed to meet all challenges head on because success or failure will always act to make me stronger; this doesn't help me because i don't know what the greater challenge is and what i will most grow from! The decision itself i know is going to change me and how i live my life, not just how my life is lived, forever, it's a very peculiar thought! I shouldn't stay up so late...i start getting all philosophical."

Sorry but I am

have just had an email from MNHQ - they said this:
"nothing immediately obvious this end to suggest the OP is a troll.
Obviously, sadly, doesn't mean she/he isn't either, but as you know we like to give people the benefit of the doubt."

I shall bow out now, but I would like to hope that this is not a troll and that some benefit is gained. At least I have had some benefit - I think poetmum is fab!

I should just add, that I fell pregnant when I was a student and boyfriend had left me, and my concerns where much more along the lines of:

My parents will kill me.
How would I manage on my own?
What will I do for money?
Where will I live?
Can I continue to study?
And many other things of a similarly practical nature.

Maybe this has hit a nerve with me, but as in the other threads it's looking for emotional views on the subject, not the practical ones (at all).

To me it does not ring true and is too similar to the other threads.

13 years ago I had an abortion at 8 weeks pregnant. I was 18. I regret it every day but in reality it has meant that I now have a much nicer life, good career, supportive DH (ex partner was rubbish), nice house etc.

However I would give it all back and have had my baby. Now that I am a mum (DD 11 months) I just realise that they are the most important thing in the world. But I know its easy for me to say that my relative position of comfort.

One of my circle of antenatal mums has a 9 year old daughter (and was a single mum at the time) and she is living a very similar life to me, nice job, DH etc. I dont think that having children puts the right people off. It will be hard and no doubt delay everything by a few years, but my advice would be to consider having your child.

OOps, so this was not genuine? Read past page 1 in future.

Pamelat - we don't know if it's genuine but I have my doubts. If genuine then I'm sure you story will be of help. If not genuine then I hope your generosity and honesty in sharing your story makes them feel ashamed.

The threads that have been linked sprang to my mind as soon as I read this too