I've just seen a photo of my husband, on facebook, cuddled up to the woman who he used to work with.

[AndaPartridgeOnADustyTv]

I am not name changing for this as I don't want to be called a troll. But DH does know my login name.

I have just been on facebook and looked at some new photos recently added by this woman he worked with. there is one of them cuddled up and DH has a look on his face that says it all to me. I have seen that look hundreds of times and it is how he used to look at me. I have had worries about him and this woman for a while, well TBH for as long as they were working together (Dh now in a new job)

He still socializes with her and the others from his old workplace. He sees them all (so he says) approx 2-3 times a week when he pops in after he has finished work. I have tried to talk to him before about how I was worried that he may have feelings for her, but didn't really get anywhere. He is not the easiest person to talk to about anything really.

I was only the other day saying how lucky I was to have him as my husband as he is very helpful around the house and with DD, even more so now I am pg with number 2.

The photo could very well be innocent, but coupled with the worries I had about this earlier in the year I am very worried and upset.

It could just be my hormones are going into overdrive and the fact that she always looks wonderful. I look and feel awful at the mo, I need a hair cut and my eyebrows need doing, I cant fit into any of my old clothes and my maternity clothes are too big so I am in a lot of jogging bottoms etc. I feel awful.

What do you think?
Do you think it could just be in my head.

Good idea about the bank card Dusty.

Just one thing - don't put everything down to your hormones. Gut instinct is there for a reason, albeit one from long ago.

Please don't take this the wrong way, but are you both very young? Just wondered if this is one of the reasons why he is finding moving on from his old workmates quite hard.

Were not old but not that young we will both be 30 next year. We have been together for 11 years and married for nearly 5 years. We knew each other for a couple of years before we even got together.
I know gut instinct is there for a reason. I think the thing that was worrying me most in the year when I had that gut instinct is the fact that she is alot like I was (and still am but a bit more mature) when I was her age. i think DH sees that in her also. That was the worrying thing. But she really is a lovely person and I think the fact that I am pg and DD is only 13mo my hormones have been all over the place for a while now and it is highlighting things that normally I wouldn't batt an eyelid too. DYSWIM.

Yes I see what you mean. Take care of yourself and get that bank card sorted asap!

Thank you

Gut instinct doesn't really work properly when you're pregnant, snoringnightmare! You read into things, and see things that just aren't there. every little thing becomes a huge problem, which probably why OP is worrying that her post was nasty!!! It wasn't at all, I knew what you were saying, so don't fret!

I agree that sometimes it's hard to convey exactly what the situation over MN, particularly when describing one particular thing our DP has done to annoy us (when rest of time he is brilliant) - I notice posters get a backlash of comments from people "That's so out of order, my ex was like that, get a divorce, he'll never change etc etc." You put a few details down and people fill in the gaps, drawing on their own experience (which could be bloody awful, and so they advise very differently from other posters.

Think you did the right thing showing the actual photo to a trusted (non-pregnant, I presume!) friend who will tell you what she really thinks it looks like.

Hope you get your haircut!

AndaPartridge, I didn't for a moment think your husband was in the same league as my X!! If I suspect that on various other threads, I tell people to bail out and start living!

But in your case, I deduced that the relationship was otherwise in good shape, but that there is a balance of power that needs to be rectified if you're together for the long haul!!

Good luck!

Ex

Thanks everyone and thanks liffy I knew what you were saying last night, but I also know that my DH is not like that. We just have a very odd way, I suppose, of handling our finances. I know it has to change as I do hate having to ask for money and what not. I would be happy with a card to access his account.

But TBH I very rarely need anything anyway as we have food in, bills/mortgage paid etc. Any clothes I get all come from charity shops anyway and always have done. It is occasionally that I want something like a haircut etc that I have to ask for money.

I don't think your way of handling your finances is odd. It's much like the way DH and I handle ours. However, it needs a bit of adjusting now you are no longer earning. When DH was a stay at home Daddy we had a joint account for the bills and personal accounts as well. My salary went into my account. From there I transferred the monthly bills amount into the joint account. The rest was split into two. I got slightly more because I paid travel costs and work clothes out of mine. DH's was referred to, jokingly, as his "beer money".

I never wanted DH to have to account for what he spent. Who really wants to know how much their partner has spent on their birthday present? If he needed more I gave him more. If I was low, he transferred some to my account. It worked out in the end.