My partner (although I plan to leave him in the new year) claims jobseeker's allowance and has been unemployed the six years I've been with him, possibly not had a job since he left uni save a couple of deadenders such as market research/street surveys. He exists frugally and also from his (undeclared) ebay earnings which can vary £1000 a month to nothing at all the next month. He doesn't save. We are age 40 and 42.
We don't live together and he only provides the minimum £5 a week automatically taken from his dole money by the CSA. He doesn't offer a penny more. He refuses to ever work again in order not to have to pay more for his children (19 months and one on the way). He owns his house, I live in rented. He won't sell his house or enable us all to live in it together (he's a hoarder, it's a mental condition before you ask means no it will never be possible to live in same house as someone like that).
What I'd like to know is, do most women in my situation settle happily for the minimum contribution of £5, or if there is a possibility they could obtain more, for example because my partner owns his own home outright (which benefits agency class as 'income', although I don;t know how they figure that if the house is effectively uninhabitable due to junk and rubbish he can hardly renti it out for income or sell it ) and also his ebay earnings, they might attempt that?
He doesn't believe in financially supporting his children he's already said the taxpayers can do that because I claim Income Support so would not agree to helping me with a penny more, but I would find it a huge help for instance if he offered to pay for creche 5 days a week (£13 a week) so I could get some 'me time', as my family live 200 miles away so I have no friends or support here. Yet I keep reading on forums single mums in similar circustances to me are receiving up to £150 a month from their ex-partners and I'm wondering if I'm getting diddled?
I've already researched childcare costs and am planning my future in order to go to work once the new baby is a few years old and can see I need some serious savings in place for that, which I was hoping more contributions from my partner would assist with. Am I a 'money grabber' by thinking of ways to get him to offer more financial assistance?