Funny sex stuff

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Hi, we have been married for 10 years so we don't often have anything funny (or anything, for that matter!) to report, but last night, whilst doing the bizz, I sneezed quite hard and blasted DH out of the "mother ship" onto the other side of the bed. We re-docked and finished in gales of laughter. Best sex in ages, I have to say.

...

PMSL

brilliant

that sounds really fun

Yes, I don't think I have ever sneezed mid-shag before, or talked to anyone who has done so. But then, it doesn't often come up in converstaion, does it? Quite a spectacular result, methinks. I have had 6 children, so if I can produce that effect, what can my childless sisters do - maybe blast less than adequate men into hyperspace, perhaps? The possibilities are endless!

pmsl

I love the mother ship comment

Hi travellingwilbury - seemed the best analogy at the time (fgrin). I have tried to do a festve smiley but I always get it wrong. bet it works this time, hehe

No, cocked it up again

Brilliant!

Not brilliant that you cocked it up BTW, good pun , your story was brilliant

Is that in the Karmasutra then?

Am crap at smileys, I always panic - why, why? Maybe I should stop trying. Glad you liked my account of sexual sneezing!

Kamasutra - yeah right, in my dreams. Is it in there?

Daresay your childless sisters would have to careful not to snap their men's chaps right off at the root!

Did indeed PMSL at your story - also envious because in our house that would have been sufficient excuse for DH's erection to go skulking off in a huff and there would have been no finishing at all!

That is so funny Thanks you have cheered me up.

The strangest thing that ever happened to me was something similar to that thing in American Pie - before which I had no idea it actually could

rhrh - sorry to hear about the moody nature of your DH's erection. We are just a really giggly couple - we laugh about most things, sex and erections included. I think after years of my laughter, my DH's erectile possibilities have to be quite robust.
Electra - what happened in American Pie - I've never seen it?

Don't bother - it isn't very good! But there is a scene it in where a teenager is about to have sex with a woman who he has been interested in for some time, but he comes before she even touches him. I thought this was obviously a comedy moment which would never actually happen - but it happened to me and the guy in question was not a teenager...

You mean he decorated his pants or were his pants off and he just ejaculated everywhere? Did any words precede the event? Was there a warning????

Funniest thing I ever did was some weird position suggested by my boyfriend where he lies on his back with his legs bent and backwards like some weird beetle. I then sat facing away from him like I was in an armchair with his legs acting like a support to keep me upright.

I laughed so badly and so did he that I couldn't stand up as my legs gave out from laughing. In the end he had to tip me off to the side

I've never sneezed and blasted him out, but I've laughed and squeezed him out.

Mind you, I can't remember what made me laugh. Must have been him...Ha!

i once sneezed during sex. myhead shot forward and a split his lip.

i thought it was hilarious, him not so much

He ejaculated everywhere - no warning whatsoever. My head was not ready for that stage!

Next time, try farting while he's in pole position.

Mind you, farting when someone is giving you oral is not nice.

well my first thought was 'oh great, now I get nothing!'