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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Sounds a bit silly but it's serious

9 replies

trinityrocks · 22/03/2005 08:13

I have a serious spendaholic/shopaholic problem. I know that it sounds stupid and I'm prepared for people to just say "get a grip and stop spending" but I'm after some other sorts of help. I was just wondering if anyone knew of anything that I could do to get some support to change.
My hubby is being really good but it is causing problems in our relationship and I want to "get a grip" and stop dissapointing him.
I have been fighting this on my own for 7 years and I feel that I now need help to get strong enough to "get a grip"

OP posts:
KristinaM · 22/03/2005 08:19

Sorry I cant offer any specific advice here.....but just wanted to say well done for admitting you have a problem and asking for help. Takes a lot of courage. I'm sure lots of MNers will be along soon with useful advice - you will get support here - no one will tell you to pull yourself together. Honest

Original poster
trinityrocks · 22/03/2005 08:23

thanks kristinaM

OP posts:
Miaou · 22/03/2005 08:25

Trinityrocks - sorry no real advice, but just wanted to say well done for admitting your problem. I don't have a shopping problem but I DO understand how it can happen, and I think you'll find many people understand.

Hopefully someone will be along soon with some more practical advice on how to help you. Hugs and smiles to you.

Original poster
trinityrocks · 22/03/2005 08:27

Thanks Miaou

OP posts:
Earlybird · 22/03/2005 08:34

trinityrocks - sorry to hear about your problem. And, as others have said, well done for admitting it.

Whenever I hear about someone with a compulsive spending problem, it seems that many of them have wardrobes full of clothes with tags still on, unworn shoes, etc. I always wonder - and I promise I'm not being flippant - why don't they simply take the things back to the store? I'm sure it's not that simple, but can you allow yourself the "thrill" of buying, and then return the stuff later?

anorak · 22/03/2005 08:38

Could you decide to stop spending just for one month. One month only and then you are allowed to go back to spending.

For one month, every time you feel the urge to spend, take the money you would have spent and put it in a high-interest account.

The theory is that at the end of the month you will be so thrilled with what you have saved that you will have changed your addiction from spending to saving.

mancmum · 22/03/2005 08:43

I suffer from this a bit and I have found the best thing to do is work on a cash only basis... I have spent a fortune using credit cards on the internet bored at work,,, so now I have got rid of all the credit cards and take out only enough cash for what I need on a daily basis.... take away your ability to buy but make sure you have s small treat fund once a month.... I find I now spend ages just wandering round shops not buying but whenI do eventually buy, I really like what I have bought... it is tough... but worth it!

moschops · 22/03/2005 12:15

if you really, REALLY want to knock this on the head then can i suggest it may be worth talking to your doctor to see if you can get a referal to a self help group of some sort. even if you keep this in mind while you try and work through it in your own way.

its an addiction. you get a thrill when you spend but it is short lived and then the guilt kicks in.

mummytosteven · 22/03/2005 12:17

a bit of info on bbc news web site about treating compulsive shopping

news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/health/1868364.stm

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