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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Should I bin this guy as probably a bit pervy?

60 replies

WhosThatThen · 06/12/2008 11:31

I joined a dating site (and have namechanged) and started emailing this guy who seemed normal, we exchanged mobile numbers and have been texting fairly normal stuff like 'how are you' and 'what have you planned for the weekend'.

So. Last night he text and called me miss flirty, out of the blue. He asked what I was doing and I said I was in need of an early night and asked about his plans. Well he came back with....How come early night sounds fun with two lol...

Am I being a bit of a prude or is this just a bit too forward? We havent even met yet.

How would you reply to that if at all?

OP posts:
hullygully · 06/12/2008 11:36

Ugh creepy. I'd say bye bye.

littleboyblue · 06/12/2008 11:42

Definately a bit forward if you haven't even met. Maybe that's just his sense of humour though.
Does sound a bit much mind, and I'd prob be put off from arranging a meet up.

Original poster
WhosThatThen · 06/12/2008 11:44

I should shouldn't I. I have been out of the dating scene for such a long time I wasn't sure if I was over reacting.
What a disappointment.

Would you actually text back and say it's going nowhere or would you just ignore him and hope he goes away?

OP posts:
littleboyblue · 06/12/2008 11:48

If you are freaked out by this and don't want anymore contact, just ignore him.
Or you could tell him what the problem is and give him a chance to explain himself, it might be that he is the nicest guy but is just stuck on what to say over text.....
Your call I'm afraid

AbricotsSecs · 06/12/2008 11:50

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

AbricotsSecs · 06/12/2008 11:51

This reply has been deleted

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warthog · 06/12/2008 12:00

bleurgh i'd ignore tbh

Original poster
WhosThatThen · 06/12/2008 12:01

Thanks for the advice. I have text and explained that I found it forward. Either he will respond with something grown up or I will never hear from him again.

Well, the next option is a guy with the name 'rock ur kock' or a 51 yr old Uni lecturer. Do you think an 18 year age gap is wrong?

OP posts:
Original poster
WhosThatThen · 06/12/2008 12:22

Bugger. He has replied with...was joking im not like that.

Not quite what I was thinking of when I said 'something grown up'...

OP posts:
Eve34 · 06/12/2008 12:34

Sounds like a typical bloke response, although a sorry would of been nice.

TheNewsMongersGeansaiNollag · 06/12/2008 12:39

yeah how that be funny when you haven't met him!!

How can even a bloke type it? He doesn't know what YOU are like either. HOw does he know either?! MEN are weird. they'd shag a donut I suppose. I'm over analysing this.

18 yrs is too wide a gap!! I'm coming around to the idea of ten. That's hard enough.

TheNewsMongersGeansaiNollag · 06/12/2008 12:40

NOT that you're the donut in this scenario!!!!

andlipsticktoo · 06/12/2008 12:45

Sounds harmless to me, I think it does sound like a typical blokey thing to text. Wouldn't worry about it.

TisTheSeasonToBeSolo · 06/12/2008 12:48

Don't you think though, that text messages can be totally misconstrued even if you've known a person for years personally?

Original poster
WhosThatThen · 06/12/2008 13:13

Hmmm I have just looked back at the text he was responding to of mine.
I said 'very boring but I am booked in for an early night'

I suppose putting things into context and allowing for typical blokeyness he may not have been being that presumptuous.

Perhaps he just isn't that funny.

Donut!

Solo it is true, so many cues in communication are non verbal/written.

OP posts:
IAteMakkaPakka · 06/12/2008 13:15

I would say bin the texting from now on and just phone him. Then make your mind up.

Original poster
WhosThatThen · 06/12/2008 14:28

Well I text him before about misinterpretation, blah blah...he is ignoring me.
Oh the irony.

Right, I'm getting back on there and trawling for a good 'un.

Thanks for the help folks. Wish me luck!

OP posts:
juicyjolly · 06/12/2008 14:33

Hardly X Rated.

Sounds pretty harmless to me!

shitehawk · 06/12/2008 14:38

Sounds pretty harmless to me too.

I think you may well have scared him off by telling him that you found it forward, though.

Texting is a crap way to run a relationship. You can't get any kind of intonation into the text, you can't see the humour in the same way that you can hear it in someone's voice. Why not ring him and speak to him? You'll come across a lot better that way, and so will he.

Jackstini · 06/12/2008 14:38

How long have you been texting/emailing? If it is a few weeks & you have 'chatted' a lot I would not be worried about it. Maybe he wanted to let you know he quite likes you in that way...
If it is only this week, is a bit forward.

juicyjolly · 06/12/2008 14:41

Hardly X Rated.

Sounds pretty harmless to me!

juicyjolly · 06/12/2008 14:41

Ooopppsss sorry 'bout that

Original poster
WhosThatThen · 06/12/2008 14:50

I think he is definitely scared off now.

It was just this week, we exchanged half a dozen or so emails, half a dozen texts and were winding up to actually chat on the phone but tbh I am so out of practice I was terrified of actually talking to him incase I made an arse of myself.

Nevermind, you live and learn.

OP posts:
Original poster
WhosThatThen · 06/12/2008 15:53

Wow, well not only have I scared him off me, he has actually deleted his profile off the site!
So probably a phonecall wouldn't go down very well at this stage

OP posts:
TheProvincialLady · 06/12/2008 16:10

Have you mentioned that you have a lot of brothers or something?