Friend said to me, she thinks it's false for me to visit my Grandad in hospital.......

[npg1]

Im in need of someone to talk to. have posted on a different board for different reasons.

My Grandad had a stroke 2 weeks ago. I wasnt very close to him and hadnt seen him for about 3 years but I went to visit him in hospital. He died last night. The hospital was 60 miles away and because of visiting hours and 2 small kids and OH working away in the week I could only see him on saturdays.

So last friday night, saw my friend for dinner, had a few glasses of wine but she drinks alot more than me anyway. She has said a few hurtful things in the past but last friday it was ' dont you think it's a bit faulse of you to see your grandad every weekend?" I was shocked she said this, cant remember what I said back to her.

Anyway, im so glad i did see him as he passed last night but I dont know what to say to this friend to make it clear she has upset me to or do I just leave it?

Sorry about your grandad. It depends whether you can let it go or not. I'd probably leave seeing her for a couple of weeks and if you're still feeling hurt, then say something, but wait until you're not angry about it any more. Just say 'I felt a bit hurt when you said that'.

what a horrible thing to say.

i don't know whether you should broach it with her or not... personally I probably wouldn't, but I would probably also cool the friendship too. i mean, who needs friends like that??

if you want to stay friends with her then it might be worth saying something, otherwise it'll eat away at you

Sorry about your grandad.
Not much of a friend IMO.

was it a one-off comment? or is she always saying hurtful things?

She has said things in the past that upset me. It's almost like she drinks so much when we get together that she thinks she can say what she wants. I know she will probably phone me in the next few days but dont think I can talk to her yet without saying anything so maybe best i just ignore her for a few days!?

Or you could tell her how insensitive and horrible her comment was - it would do her a favour if it stops her saying such things in the future.

err, particular bugbear of mine that people justify having had a few drinks to say fucking horrible things

not much of a friend

some people are just nasty drunks, however they are nasty by nature as the alcohol doesn't make you say things you didn't want to

goes without saying, I am very nice after a few drinks

sorry about your grandad, it doesn't matter how often you saw him. You were there at the end and that is what counts, he will have appreciated it

realistically, modern lives are so busy it is not unusual for family members to not see much of each other until there is a crisis