Would you date someone who is older than your father?

[Flightattendant4]

Or would it just be an instant 'no'?

It is a real bummer when you feel ready and primed for a relationship, and so open to it. However, its better to be single than waste your time on people who aren't right for you. When you do meet that 'special person' (gag, sorry - you know what I mean) who's a good match, they'll wonder what you've been doing in the past few years, and it's kind of better to have just been chilling out and working on yourself etc than to say to Mr Right, 'Oh, I was basically faffing around killing time with different blokes who I didn't really click with until you came along' IYSWIM..

That's true

I have been chaste for 2 years now, it is about time he turned up!!

Oh well, in that case he should get a bloody move on then! Where the hell is he??

Dated a very attractive man 25 yrs older than me for quite a while. It was lovely. Give it a whirl.

I've fancied a drop dead gorgeous man since I was a teenager -he's now 56 and I'd happily bring him breakie in bed He's called Sting btw.

Why not date him, if he asks you to? If you quite like him, give him a chance - if you find out after a coule of dates that you like him but can't face having actual sex with him, then agree to be just good friends with him. If you do want to have sex with him, then go for it. You'll never know what it';s like if you don't try, after all, and relationships don't have to be long-lasting or exclusive or lead to marriage, to be worthwhile and enjoyable.

My dad is 73 so no. But I might consider a man in his 50s (obviously only if I didn't have a dh!)

no. Cos if my father was alive he'd be 93!

No because my father is dead and would be 85 if still alive.

I'm, 46. I have a limited amount in common with a man in their 80s

depends on your ages- a 30 yr old woman and a 50+ yr old man - fine.

A woman in her 60s and an 80+ yr old= prob not.

Haven't read all the posts so not sure of your age or his- but my DH is 54 and looks ten yrs younger, so he's told. He wouldn't look out of place with any one in their 30s or 40s.

I think you need to consider what is is you are worried about- how you look together, whether if you do hit it off you'd be a young widow- ( sorry but got yo face facts) or the notion of having kids.

If you are not looking long term then i can't see there is an issue if you like him- just treat it as any other relationship and see how you get on, irrespective of the age gap.

I thought you weren't interested in this bloke Flight ??

Not being funny, but I cansee why he is getting mixed messages.

Xp was 20 years older than me.

I wouldn't date anyone more than 10 years older than me now.

another trust your instinct here. but it's not going to be a very long term relationship is it? so not someone for life.

It depends on how old your father is...

If my dad was only 20 years older than me then I might well do (if I was single of course), however as it is my dad is 43 years older than me so no!

My partner is 13 years older than me so age gaps aren't a problem for me (up to a point).

noooo! my dad is nearly 40 years older than me!

Illegally Brunette - You're right to ask.

When we spoke the other evening and sorted it out, it took the pressure off - and I immediately felt much much better about him/it, so it seemed to make it more of a possibility iyswim. I know - a bit weird I suppose. But I was put off when he was trying it on, because I barely knew him and felt rather afraid. But once he knew what I was feeling like and was so lovely about it, I kind of felt like he was fine after all.

Does that make any sense?

He's going away tonight anyway, for four months - so I have got ages to make my mind up. Sorry to seem so contradictory.

Also IB can I ask why you wouldn't go for someone older now - don't want to be nosey but if your partner was 20 years older did you find that a problem? I think this chap is about 25 years older than me.

Thanks for all the thoughts btw, everyone - it helps

Ho ho ho - if my dad was alive, I'd be dating someone who was 83+ EEEEEUUUUWWWWWW!

Think I'll stick with my toy-boy DH!

My dad's only 23 years older than me. And I wouldn't date any one near his age because I couldn't stop the 'OMG you are nearly my dad' thoughts. So I've got a limited range of older men to choose from - say ten years, no more.

Good job I'm shacked up with a dh who is only 363 days older than me, really.

flight- I think you should totally disregard age if you like this man at all- you must know whether you fancy him or not ?

Age is irrelevant- it's how you gel that counts. Okay, there may be a "generation gap" in some ways, but you might have plenty in common too.

As I said before, the only issue for me would be if the gap was so big that- statistically- I might be left on my own at a young age if we ended up together.

I had a long relationship with a man almost 14 yrs my senior and from a totally different class. I was working class, he was dead posh and been to one of the top public schools. We hit it off well, were together for almost 5 years and split up for other reasons- not age etc.

Tbh the age gap wasn't main cause of my problems with xp, but it has still put me off having such a big age gap again just incase.

Tell me if I am wrong Flight, and if I am I apologise, but I get the feeling that you are trying to make yourself want a relationship with this bloke and if that is true then that in itself tells you that this isn't right.

As much as I hate being single and hate being alone, the worst thing in the world for me now would be to find myself settling for someone just for the sake of being with someone.
I kind of did that with xp, and it is soul destroying eventually.

Was in a simular situation 2 years ago flight. Am now with the 'older guy' (18 years older 1 year younger than my dad!) and we have a beautiful DD and are very happy. We had 'the talk' decided to just be friends which took the pressure off and we ended up in bed within 48 hours!! If it feels right then age doesnt matter.

No. My father would be 80 this week were he still alive.

the age gap thing is a big issue, especially as you age yourself.

My mother's been my father's 'carer' for the last 15 years - she's in her Seventies he's very nearly 94.

If you find him attractive, and you feel that it will be a wholesome, holistic, rounded relationship - there's nothing wrong... you don't seem the type to go for someone just for a fling.

No, but my dad would have been in his 70's if was still alive.

I am quite partial to the older man, just not that old!

Instant no.

My Dad would be 71.

50 would orbably be my age limit - and then he's have to be loaded!