Men - does your mum like your wife/partner? Or MIL do you like your DIL?

[pamelat]

There are so many anti MIL threads on here, a consistent theme seems to be that we (women) feel that our partners mums do not like us, do not respect us and basically do not consider us worthy of their sons.

So whats the truth.

MIL's - what do you dislike about your DIL? If anything at all?

Men - do your mums confide in you about your wife/partner?

I actually like my MIL and I think she likes me, but she probably finds me a bit neurotic!

I did find it difficult with the arrival of DD as I felt undermined by both my MIL and mum. I just wondered what the opinion is at the other end of the relationship.

My DH would have no idea what his mum thought of me, he would never ask either but some mums probably confide?

MY MIL and FIL disliked me so much that we now no longer see them - and they have never seen DD.

It seemed to be that they expected him to marry a sweet docile type - obviously younger than him. What they got was a slightly noisy Joan Collins look a like ( alright - it was the 80's!) who was 7 years older.

On the night DS1 was born ( we had been together five years and married for four) Dh took them to dinner while I was in hosp.

'Can you see now how happy we are, how happy pag makes me?' DH asked.

I tried and tried. Never worked

I get on brilliantly with my MIL but my own mother is a nightmare and dp pretty much refuses to have anything to do with her, which I understand.

It depends on the people involved imo.

But you don't really start a thread to say, "my lovely MIL has come over, cooked supper, bathed my older DCs while I bf the baby. Then she went home".

I find my MIL a bit irritating, but I like her and she seems to like me - she told DP that she would be taking my side in all arguments from now on!

exactly Bling my mum did/does that if I need her. Up until last week I didn't have any idea that my mil hates me, DH was shocked that she was so cruel and nasty to me. Neither of us knew.

I'm very fond of my DIL.She makes my DS happy and shes a loving Mum to my beautiful grandaughter. As far as I'm concerned shes part of my family.

dh probably thinks his mum and I both try quite hard (and, possibly, that the trying shows a bit) to appreciate each other. MIL and I are both self-doubting aimers-to-please, so it is difficult to know whether we're really connecting. However, it's all very civilised - better, actually - cordial. And we share some very essential values about feminism and autonomy and that. Plus an initial difficulty in our relationship (about whether ds has actual "problems" or not) has resolved itself to her credit, in that she now frankly accepts that he does, a bit.

MIL would probably like it if I were more publicly adoring of dh, as she does think he's quite quite marvellous. On the other hand, maybe not - as my rather more pragmatic view of her son means I don't challenge her occupation of the dh-is-utterly-marvellous territory, which has accordingly stayed hers.