Help needed

[Shefflin]

I'm knocking a slice off a single mother and don't know what to get her and the little 'un for Xmas. Any tips would be most welcome. Thanks.

??? 'knocking a slice off' can you explain what you mean please?

Maybe a plastic bag so that you can wrap her up after taking the slice off her so she will stay super fresh. Earmuffs for the kids so they can't hear all that slicing.

Oh, right, er, carnal knowledge type thingy.

Perhaps you should try twatsandtrolls.com they have a wide variety of gifts for a variety of weirdos

A new boyfriend with a nicer vocabulary would do for a start. Oh, and a PSP for the little 'un.

Get her one of them leather covers for her benefit books. you can get em wiv sequins an all sorts.
Fer the babba - a crate of coke?

how about paying for a years subscription for her for a nice dating agency in the hope she will meet a nice young man. gift vouchers/money for the child, as you don't seem to understand that any suggestions for gifts will depend on the sex and age of the child.
Oh, and whilst you are at it, why not a book on etiquette for yourself and elocution lessons?

sorry for last post. My DH has just pointed out that was very mean and I shouldn't mock the afflicted!

Twat

hope you don't mean me poshwellies (going into a corner to cry as very hormonal!)

Um, fluffy slippers?

For her ears?

So she can't hear the sound of herself weilding an axe?

WHy not give her a voucher for boob enlargement, and get a Porn Star In Training t-shirt for the kid.

Oh mumoverthewater...I am hormonal too. maybe she meant me? I hate feeeling like a vulnerable hormonal axe murderer.

Bet she meant me...fight you for it.

(Am on other corner...ding a ling...fight on..oh dear...they meet in the middle...they swap hugs and chocolate cake recipes...they talk about meeting up next thursday about half two...it's not much of a fight....punters will want their money back...eek)

Sorry but I think this is hilarious
Am loving knocking a slice off

knocking a slice off is a new one to me

No, it wasn't directed at you mumoverseas nor you UA,but if you wanna fight carry on

fists covered in choccy icing up...

Oi, you, poshwellies, that type of language is a bit, um, rum if you ask me. This a family forum. Think on, eh?

oh bless, he is back and wasn't scared off. Has school finished early today?

BTW, is she a MILF you met at the school gates or a yummy mummy?

pmsl
KNOCKING A SLICE OFF????
That's hilarious - you must be a school boy to come out with that!!!!

LOL twatsandtrolls.com

She's more a GISAOTS if you must know.

Is it too early for lego porn?

"Knocking off a slice"