When your best friend and husband HATE each other

[CarmerKharma]

My best friend and DH have never got along and whenever they see each other they just start arguining. It's really pissing me off because each of them expect me to be 'on their side' but in truth, they're both as bad.

Last night friend came over with her DH and they'd been here for around an hour before my DH upset her (said something her smelling of alcohol). She locked herself in the bathroom and I went and asked her what was wrong and she said "Nothing, I'm just on toilet" so I left her to it. 5 minutes later DH had gone running upstairs and started banging on the bathroom door shouting "stop seeking attention before I bash this fucker down" so friend shouted "fuck off and leave me alone" so DH got a pen and pad and started pushing mean messages through the door

It ended with her husband going charging upstairs and throwing a chip at DH but admitting that my friend was having an 'off day'.

Now DH says they're not allowed here again and friend says I should have stood up for her. I'm always stuck in the middle.

And you are all grown-ups and married? Honestly, you all sound as bad as each other!

Seriously? That actually happened? I think there are children who behave better than that....

Tell them all to grow the hell up!

I wasn't involved in it, I was downstairs while all this was going on because I knew I'd end up stuck in the middle again.

I would be tempted to ditch them both tbh.

Can't say I blame you, I'd find it hard to believe to if I hadnt seen it myself.

pmsl (sorry) - I would have gone out and washed my hands of the lots of them.

what a crock of shite

I hated my best friends husband. We stayed away from each other and were civil at public events. Ultiamtely the friendship didnt survive it but it was do-able for a while.

your husband sounds like an arse TBH.

She obviously has a problem and is oversensitive and a sulker but his behaviour towards her sounds dreadful. Have a word with him first.

How pathetic!!

If it really is that bad then there is no way I would put them together again!

I would see friend with the kids and have coffee and not let DH anywhere near her.

What does the other DH say and why do your DH and DF hate each other so much?

(or do they secretly fancy each other?)

bloody hell
they sound like 12 year olds
have they a history?
they sound like siblings or if not I'd be worried they'd had an affair in the past
you don't behave like that unless you know someone very very well.................
were you all at school together?

My dh and best friend did not initially get on. Solution? Keep them away from each other for some time. I would see bf on my own. After several years, this was no longer possible as we all moved. However, as we are all adults, I can now invite bf to stay and explain to dh that she is my bf and if she gets up his nose can he go and play in the shed or similar until she is gone. They are both grown up, this works just fine.

Your dh sounds like a twat, I'm afraid. She may be a bit high-maintenance (to put it politely) but - insulting your friends? Banging on doors, swearing and threatening? writing nasty notes and pushing them under doors? FFS.

I would just see her on her own - and tell your dh to grow the fuck up.

Does your DH behave this weirdly with other people or just this friend?

Aren't you the person from the whole "is a penguin a chocolate biscuit or not?". On that thread, I think we concluded that your husband was a long-suffering individual!

Your DH is very childish.

My DH doesn't like quite a few of my friends - usually the ones that are my friends rather than our friends . But he knows better than to express that opinion to them. And I try to see them without him around.

Are you sure they're not sleeping together?

Snaf - that's what I was thinking.

That is disgraceful behaviour, and quite pathetic tbh. They sound like children. Your friend does sound quite high maintenance and a bit childish. Your husband's behaviour sounds absolutely disgusting though, what a horrific and aggressive thing to do. You can dislike someone without being so aggressive. I think you need to have a serious talk with him.

ditto again, if this is for real

I've often wondered if they fancy each other because the behaviour between the two of them is really extreme. When I was tidying up last night I found the notes DH had pushed under the door saying stuff like "you smell funny!" and "big nose!" etc and it sounds so silly it's almost as if they're 'playing' but she was really upset.

Our children started school together so we have known each other for years. They've always been like this, from the very first time they met.

Her husband stays out of it for a while but all of a sudden gets involved and acts just as bloody daft.