I met a woman at a park this summer, and we struck up a friendship. We live in the same area, our dds are about the same age, and we're both single mums. She has repeatedly invited us over for Sunday lunch, and it is always lovely, and has become a semi-regular thing. We always go to hers for several reasons: she used to be a professional chef, and loves to cook (I don't cook much at all), and because she lives in a large 4 BR flat with 3 reception rooms (her mother's actually) with a dedicated playroom so the girls can have a good play without being underfoot. My flat is small, so we'd be cramped, with no separate area for the kids to play.
I have been careful not to take advantage, as I don't reciprocate with cooking. However, I like to think I make it up in other ways. For instance: I always arrive for Sunday lunch with a nice bottle of wine, and I bring lunch for our dds (as they don't like our "adult" food). I also often arrive with a bag of clothes that dd has grown out of - playclothes, party dresses, jumpers, shoes, swim costumes, hats, even vests and tights! My friend is grateful for these, and I am glad to give them to someone we know/like.
Yesterday, I mentioned to my friend that dd and I were going to a park in a different part of the city. My friend asked if she and her dd could come, and volunteered to drive. She also suggested that we all go out for pizza afterward, and I agreed (we have done this a few times before at my invitation, and I have paid for all of us joking that it was "my turn to cook"). We had a lovely afternoon, and a nice meal. When the bill arrived, I wondered whether I should pay as I've done in the past, but decided that we could split the bill as eating out was her suggestion.
Anyway - I put enough money down for our half of the bill, and my friend announced suddenly that she couldn't find her wallet. We all looked around for it, and she even went out to the car to look too. She came back empty handed, with a few theories on where it could have been lost. She seemed upset, but not that upset. She didn't ask me to pay the whole food bill, but it was clear that was the only option, so of course, I did. She didn't thank me, or offer to pay me back. She dropped us home, with me making sympathetic noises. But again I kept thinking that I would be much more upset if I had lost my wallet.
We were due at her place for Sunday lunch today, and she called this morning saying the wallet had been found. I said she must be relieved, and asked what had happened. She said someone had called 5 minutes earlier to say they found it in the street near the park (me immediately suspicious thinking why would that person have waited from Saturday afternoon to late Sunday morning). I asked how she was going to collect the wallet and she said the person lives 5 minutes drive from us (me again suspicious as the park is not a local one, and it's not one people from our area would logically use). Finally, she said "don't mention it at lunch today because my mum doesn't know". There was no offer to repay me for their meal.
Final note - she asked yesterday, and again today, if I could have her dd every Thursday afternoon from 3 - 6 when she gets off work. We've done this a few times, but I have been cautious not to make it a regular thing. I told her I'd give it some thought.
I enjoy this friend, and am not a "score keeper" in relationships. I am keen not to take advantage of her generosity (with Sunday lunches), so have tried to repay with some other method (clothes, wine, food for the kids, and the odd restaurant meal). But, I feel that this friend has the capacity to take advantage, so am always cautious about not putting myself in that situation. I also question whether she lost her wallet, as it doesn't ring true for me.
Your verdict? Anyone still awake?