Have just given the OW a real talking to on the phone !!!!

[elastamum]

I have been away for the weekend and left kids with H. Came back to be told by him that OW (who has been involved in the break down of our relationship)had dropped in for a cup of tea this afternoon!!. I had told H in no uncertain terms that I wasnt prepared to expose our poor kids to this, especially when they are still really unsettled about what has happened to them. I gave H a real bollocking and have rung OW and told her in no uncertain terms to stay away from my family or I will come and have a chat with her H. She is still married and intends to stay with her H and kids. My H is just a fling, she didnt seem to realise I am now divorcing him for adultery! She has just rung back in tears to try to apologise, I think she is now scared shitless. Am fuming Help me calm down!!!

Thats what i think - the ow h in my case did find out and still did not tell me - although i dont blame him i still wish he had as it would have given me the chance to get my life back earlier.
I think just being a decent human being would mean i could not ignore it.

Is there anyway you can let him know/find out without it actually being you that does the deed?

They all live a long way away from us so it would be a real effort to go and confront them.. I cant be arsed at the moment. Im still considering what to do

pick up the phone - block the number and give some details - if either of them accuse you of spilling the beans just deny it as they probably will to her h. But the seed of doubt will have been sown and he can either choose to ignore it or at least have the option of what to do with the information.

I hate all this - he is not your responsibilty stuff - if i know someone is doing something wrong (and i do mean KNOW not just susspect) i think i have a duty to report it.

I could not sit at home and watch a neighbours house being broken into after all.

Sorry i do just feel strongly about this - isnt it what you would have wanted really?

You could write to the husband?

Dont know if you should or not though.Having to think about that as well as everything else is a mind scramble im not sure I could deal with in your current situation..

Not sure I can get my head round that at the moment. I have written to my H to outline how I feel about what is going on and we are going to meet to discuss it at the weekend. Oh joy

I think you should say that they have a certain amount of time to tell her h what is going on and at least it gives her the chance to do the decent thing.

Lets guess what he is going to tell you? She has only come on the scence since you split up, nothing physical has happened, and she is just a friend who has helped him through this .

If you have evidence then i think you should still go ahead with citing her in the divorce, unless of course you can secure a much larger settlement .

Sorry i know this is serious but sometimes you just have to laugh at it!!!

You are doing so well and have such dignity - i wouldnt be surprised if he does want you back too.