Have just given the OW a real talking to on the phone !!!!

[elastamum]

I have been away for the weekend and left kids with H. Came back to be told by him that OW (who has been involved in the break down of our relationship)had dropped in for a cup of tea this afternoon!!. I had told H in no uncertain terms that I wasnt prepared to expose our poor kids to this, especially when they are still really unsettled about what has happened to them. I gave H a real bollocking and have rung OW and told her in no uncertain terms to stay away from my family or I will come and have a chat with her H. She is still married and intends to stay with her H and kids. My H is just a fling, she didnt seem to realise I am now divorcing him for adultery! She has just rung back in tears to try to apologise, I think she is now scared shitless. Am fuming Help me calm down!!!

what did you say lulabelle?

pass the guilt to us then - put her number on here and i bet there will be a lot of poeple doing the dirty work for you.

I just hope you dont live to regret the things you dont do, that was a quote ow sent my h.

But somedays i do regret the fact that i did not cause more havoc in her life - but then i am too nice too. I feel sure i could have made her life hell at her work if i wanted.

ok i get it that the ow and her life is not your responsibilty but at what point should you get involved.
Say you had an STD should you then tell him that he is likely to have one???? Or is that still up to her to find out she has one and tell him herself?

How do you mean she 'dropped round' for a cup of tea?Thats completely outrageous!Has she no shame?Messes around with your H, then comes to your house where your kids are and calmly drinks tea?
Why did your H let her in even?TBH the more things like this that happened the closer I would be to having a chat to her husband..I admire your resolve OP

Im glad you bollocked her on the phone.What absolute fuckwittery from the pair of them! on your behalf.

ah now I see it was his house not yours..but the same goes.Your kids were there..and its too soon for cups of tea as if everything were fine..and your kids will want to know who she is..Its too soon and not fair on you or the DC's..

The real issue for me is this woman has been engaged in the breakup of my family for a bit of fun and now wants to meet my kids. My H doesnt seem to understand how inappropriate this is especially as they are still really shaken by his departure. They came back last night and were all over me wanting cuddles and reassurance

tell her he's got cock-rot.

Wants to mee your kids?!Why?If she is staying with her husband?
Plus I dont care what she wants..if you dont want her to meet your kids that should be the end of it at the moment.If further down the line she ends up with your H (sorry but is this what the witch is angling for?)then you can decide whether she will be a part of their lives..but she will be introduced to them properly and in a way that everyone agrees on.Not yet though.Its too soon.

Your H and his little homewrecking bitch are sick bastards for the way they are treating your children.

I think the rule is that after a traumatic divorce it should be at least a year before new partners are introduced to the kids. Only a selfish piece of crap would break that rule.

Have you called her husband yet?

If the two of them don't understand why it is innappropriate for her to meet your children...then they are either mentally impaired, smoking crack, or just plain sick and evil.

And sorry to say that you h will not be thinking straight at the moment - after all he has only been thinking about himself for a long time.
And he is still only thinking about himself, not you, not his children and not others (her h).
There should be some sort of law to say that until a certain amount of time has lapsed that he will not make any decisions for the children.
He will look back in the future and know this is wrong but at the moment he is only thinking with his dick.
Surely no man would want to be with a woman who can cheat on her h whilst he has cancer, however good the bj.

Good for you, Tell her as she likes being with your H so much you will drop him off to hers for a cup of tea and a chat with her Husband.

I would be tempted to tell him anyway, poor man married to a harlet

Thanks all, am feeling so worn down by it all today. H's reaction to all this is not to bother to phone the kids. They both left messages for him but he never rang them back. what a great dad, probably too busy elsewhere

Just wanted to add my support - I think you have been restrained - I would have asked her husband to pass on a message "Stay away from my kids, you home-wrecking bitch!".

That should do it

Don't let them get to you

he will be the loser in the end.
You are doing brilliantly.

Sometimes i wish i had caused a huge scence - so at least i would have had something to tell my grandchildren.

You ARE doing brilliantly Elastamum..you really are.You are being very dignified where I for one would be raging and smashing things, probably H.But your way is the best way..is very admirable..

I know it must be exhausting dealing with all this...we are all rooting for you..

Thanks all I am hanging in there but it is exhausting. Have decided I'm not talking to H or anyone else for a few days until I've got my head on straight and am a bit more in control. He rang this morning before 7 as he had just picked up last nights messages from kids . I told him they were asleep as it wasnt time to get up yet and put the phone down. Am not going to engage.. pls send calming vibes my way all..........

I think you just need to remember that you are by far the bigger person.And that this too will pass.One day this will all be sorted and it wont hurt so much anymore,hard as that might be to believe at the moment.
I think I remember from your earlier thread that you are far away from family and friends?But could you not go to see your parents for the weekend or some friends?Get away for a few days?Will that help?

Calming vibes coming your way.......

Deep Breath in.... and out...

Now shout "I am fan-fuckin-tastic!"

Thanks so much !! Have girlfirends w kids round for drinkies and fireworks at the weekend. Keep thinking only 3 days away! Will build a huge bonfire of anything H has left behind

oh elastamum...caaaalm vibes to you...you are doing really brilliantly well by the sounds of things.

i just wanted to say that i think i agree with you...as in not wanting to tell the other husband...because id want my children to see that even in really bad bad times it is still possible to do the right thing...as in not sink to their level.

burn his stuff though by all means

yo da girl x

I would tell her husband, at least he would have time to write the stinking cheating bitch out of his will.

Bonfire sounds very cathartic! My mother disemboweled my father suits.

My father was the male equivalent to OW and from experience don't believe a word she says. She's had to have told some very BIG lies to your soon-to-be-ex and her own hb.

After my mother died (he wasn't daft - they remarried 3 days before she died) & I was away, my father took my teenage brother to meet a "cousin" and when I returned home there was a photo on the bookcase of her, her dd's, my dad and my brother.

You are right about the lies. When I told OW that I was divorcing H for adultery and that she wasnt by any means the first she sounded really shocked. God knows what he has been told. I bet she thinks she's really special now

About the other husband, if the situation was reversed and he had found out rather than you would you want him to tell you? Would you really prefer to carry on living in ignorance?