DH ditched sex with me after dd born...now I'm having affair...debate!

[Purplesplash]

I got fed up with begging...there's only so much begging a girl can do. I'm 40 and still look good and feel sexy. It's been a year now, so recently I hooked up with an old friend and we've been meeting up every month for fantastic sex. This is the only thing that is keeping me alive. I like DH but can't live without sex. Don't want to divorce. I have warned him a hundred times if he didn't have sex with me I would probably have an affair. Now it's happening. This is my 1st post on here and you all seem pretty judgemental, so I'm interested in your take on my situation (sometimes it's pretty weird for me too, but life is too short)

oh is you controlfreaky I remember there was another cod section set up about a year ago (very briefly) by mnet for a laugh

codtrolfreaky, you're not even going to be able to afford CROCS after what this recession does to your pension!

you'll never find out, just how comfy they are .

perhaps you need frank skinner

Staying with someone for financial reasons is very very wrong for both parties involved!

omg he is rude

Staying together for financial reasons is perfectly sensible as long as both partners are aware that this is the situation and are willing to make it work. Staying together because one partner wants love (and sex) from the other, who wants to stay in the family home and not have to sort out a single-parent life, is a recipe for mutual hatred.

Purple - I have read only some of the thread, but it sounds to me that you are feeling quite cynical and fatalistic, if practical about your situation. Speaking from my own hard experience, that is a nasty place to be in. Don't you both deserve some chance of honest happiness? Splitting up is scary, but very liberating if things have ground you down to the point of thinking that all life has to offer is this kind of pact with the devil. Honestly, try being straight about how you really want to live, and see what happens?

we cant talk to you straight becuase the answer is to easy.

its wrong.

if this isn't a wind up - i think your a cow

Hello op, I don't think you're a cow

I think that to write your post in the way you did indicates very low self-esteem, self-hatred and profound unhappiness at what's happening, what you are doing and why. I feel really sorry for you and agree with what an earlier poster said about refusal of sex being a type of betrayal in a marriage.

I don't know what I would do in your situation to reverse the circle of lying and low self-esteem except to tell your dh.

If you are staying with him for the sake of your child then good for you.

troll troll troll troll......troll troll troll troll