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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Drunk, pissed off and at my old house

14 replies

JollyPirate · 15/10/2008 18:58

Okay - it's 18.53 nd I have drunk 3/4 of a bottle of white wine.

Split up with DH six months ago because of his add9iction to phone chat lines. Have spent the last 6 months with my Mum and Dad sleeping wityh DS in bunk beds. Am about to move into a 3 bed house privately rented (nearly £700 a month). So am here - in my old house - packing stuff up.

10 days ago DH swore to me he had conquered his problem - so what do I find? He owes God knows what on his phone bills - same number as always.

He has a CCJ for non-payment of his water bill and in the post box was a summons for non-payment of council tax!

DH is due back here about 10pm with DS.

Any suggestions on how I should start the conversation?

Am about to drink more wine.

Will hold my tongue if DS is around but once he isn't it's open season.

OP posts:
JollyPirate · 15/10/2008 18:59

Both pissed and pissed off. Fed up, depressed and had enough of him and his crap.,

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krib · 15/10/2008 18:59

If you've split up with him, what is there to discuss? His money problems are his, they aren't yours anymore

JollyPirate · 15/10/2008 19:02

Oh but he thinks we can still make a go of things. "Where shall we go on holiday next year sweetie" and all that crap.

Do I mention 3 months of rent arrears - so no return of deposit and my 50% is included in that. (He is moving out and into a one bed place next month).

Oh and he wants to give my nearly new cooker to his sister to repay a debt he owes her.

No fucking way - I paid for that cooker and am selling it (new place has a gas cooker) to help me survive next month.

He has agreed £200 a month for DS and am guessing I won't see that either.

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mistlethrush · 15/10/2008 19:03

You've got a new life to look forward to - just walk away - words in anger and alchohol will not help. Start a new life without the worry with your ds - best of luck with your new home

Lauriefairycake · 15/10/2008 19:03

get out of there, this may be no conversation to have at all, but definitely not when drunk

The emotional centres and processes of our brains are unavailable to us when pissed so you may have little control over what you say

I'm now bearing in mind that you may not be able to understand that may be a bad thing even now....

So I will just yell "Get out, get out now, come back for advice later"

JollyPirate · 15/10/2008 19:03

God am reading my posts and thinking "you bitter cow".

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Lauriefairycake · 15/10/2008 19:04

You don't sound bitter, you sound as if you're hurting a lot

JollyPirate · 15/10/2008 19:04

No will be asleep/ virtually asleep by the time he gets here so no worry that I will say anything I should not.

Will possibly be saying lots tomorrow tho.

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StayFrostyShiversDownMySpine · 15/10/2008 19:06

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

QuintessenceOfFrankenShadow · 15/10/2008 19:07

You are not a bitter cow. You are disappointed. Now you know the truth, and plan your future accordingly. Walk out, and dont look back, and DONT have words. Not now that you are hurting, drunk, and have just made the discovery.

JollyPirate · 15/10/2008 19:07

There is a mahoosive dead spider on the floor.

Did I mention that the place smeels damp and musty, there are papers piled up everywhere and no hoovering has evidently been done for months. The cat hairs have to be seen to be believed.

Will move on and forwards and all that but just wish I did not have to be here now.

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JollyPirate · 15/10/2008 19:11

Thank you folks - have now finished the bottle!! . Haven't drunk this much in a long, long time.

Yes - will; plan my future very accordingly. Poor DS who loves his Daddy soo much and keeps saying "My daddy is not going to live with us". Soo sad for him. Not his fault.

Daddy cannot even live in the same county as he hates it (Essex) so is staying where we have been for 10 years (Somerset).

How can he bear to be soo far away from DS? Wild horses woyuld not keep me so far away from DS. He is 5 and so fantastically lovely.

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QuintessenceOfFrankenShadow · 15/10/2008 19:13

I know. I could not bear being away from my sons. When I gave birth to ds2 was my first time ever away from ds1, it literally hurt to spend nearly a week away from him. But your ds has you. A mum who cares and loves him very much.

JollyPirate · 15/10/2008 19:26

The p[lace is fuill of dust and am now blowing my head off. Have taken Zetec with little effect - possibly the wine does niot agree with it.

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