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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

How do you handle it when your ex thinks theres a chance you will get back together but it isnt going to happen.

10 replies

nolongeraworriedmummy · 05/10/2008 21:12

I have made it clear several times it isnt going to happen but everytime I take dd to visit he begs me for hours (and i mean hours) to reconsider and come back and that hes a changed man etc. when I say no he still carries on asking what he can do, where do we go from here ect.

What can I do, I have to take dd to see him, dd cant stay alone when visiting for the day. Hes saying it infront of dd and its breaking me heart. Any advice please on how to handle him.

OP posts:
nolongeraworriedmummy · 05/10/2008 21:12

MY heart not ME heart lol

OP posts:
elmoandella · 05/10/2008 21:15

get someone else to take dd. he'll not like this. so probably realise if he wants to see you he needs to keep his trap shut. he'll propably still swoon over you. but at least he'll give up harpin on about getting back together if he wants to keep seeing you in flesh.

nolongeraworriedmummy · 05/10/2008 21:19

have no one else to take dd he lives down south and we are in North.
He wanted me to stay when I took her last week. He also wants us to meet without dd for a date, there is no way im going back to him so it isnt going to happen!

OP posts:
elmoandella · 05/10/2008 21:22

can he not come to you? and you could get a memeber of family to stay instead of you? it would only take once or twice for him to get the gist.

nolongeraworriedmummy · 05/10/2008 21:45

I cant go into much detail but there is a order in place that I take dd to see her dad at the venue I did.

OP posts:
elmoandella · 05/10/2008 21:46

oh well. theres not really much you can do unless you want to go and have order changed.

nolongeraworriedmummy · 05/10/2008 22:08

I didnt expect this so far on, we have been split for well over a year and this has only started in the last couple of months.

OP posts:
HRHSaintMamazon · 05/10/2008 22:11

Why do you need to stay while he has her?
drop her off, go shopping/for a coffee/ walk round teh park but allow him to have time with her alone.

otherwise it is unfair on all parties. he is still seeing you and hoping for more, your dd isn't getting the quality time with her fatehr she deserves and you are made to feel uncomfortable.

If he persists then warn him that you will take it back to court as this is not working.

nolongeraworriedmummy · 05/10/2008 22:18

HRH ex isnt allowed to have unsupervised access to dd and there is no one else to stay there. I would dearly love time to myself but tbh there is some fear that something would happen (founded fear) hence court arrangement. Its only once a month but dd comes back everytime absoloutley screwed up

OP posts:
HappyWoman · 06/10/2008 16:08

I would have thought the courts would find someone to supervise if they have said that. If it is affecting dd then you need to do something.

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