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Original poster

Men who 'fall' quickly - do they in all actuality exist?

61 replies

Yeyeayo · 26/09/2008 15:00

I have recently started dating again and am amazed to find that all the men that I have dated claim that they want to be in a relationship with me after no more than two or three meetings. And I have always expressed the need to take things sloooowly. Plus I am not willing to give up being single for just anyone.
This is something that I am NOT accustomed to (although it has been seven years since I have dated) and I am used to men playing it cool and taking their time. As a result, I tend to think that these men are all full of doo doo.
However, I am now starting to wonder whether this is my issue and not theirs. I'm certain some of these men are trying to be players, but all of them?
So please tell me, do any of you know of men who actually do fall for women quite quickly and are not just trying to get into their pants/highly immature?

OP posts:
SaintPeachy · 26/09/2008 15:04

Well dh says he did- quite scarily son actually: I made a conscious decision to risk it and realised I could back out as well in a few weeks as at that moment

Together a decade

GordonTheGardenGnome · 26/09/2008 15:06

Yup, dh. Scarily quick too.

Been together a decade.

Lmccrean · 26/09/2008 15:07

I know two men who proposed within 3 months and both couples have been very happily married for over 10 years... but I also dated guys who were full of crap and thought I would want them more /sleep with them sooner if they said they wanted serious relationship/marriage.

I guess just be honest with them about how you feel. If they are genuine, they will wait til you are ready

MuffinMclay · 26/09/2008 15:16

Yes, dh. Sort of proposed after about 2/3 months. Still together 14 years later.

emma2617 · 26/09/2008 15:16

Hey...DP asked if we were going down the relationship route the 2nd time we met...the first time we had only seen each other for like 2 hours!! I was shocked, and a little dubious but was single and at uni and he was an older man, so thought what the hell!! 2 months down the line he said he was falling for me, 3 months we both said we loved each other.

1 year on engaged, 2 years on and I am 17 weeks pregnant!!

I think sometimes things can move quickly whether you plan it or not!! But I just chose to jump on and enjoy the ride...if it didn't work out then I was quite prepared to get on with it!!

Original poster
Yeyeayo · 26/09/2008 15:18

Thanks for the replies

@Lmccrean - they'd have no choice but to wait. And I suppose if they weren't genuine, they'd soon get bored and bugger off.

@SP and GTGG - how quick is scarily quick?

OP posts:
sandy4 · 26/09/2008 15:30

Another one here - DP told me he loved me on the night we met!

We are trying to organise the wedding atm

But I suppose he is a bit of a loon (like me)

wessexgirl · 26/09/2008 15:32

Apparently dh told his sister the night we met that I was the woman he would marry.

I found this out in her wedding speech! (She was best 'man'). Would prob have freaked me out at the time, but of course was a lovely thing to hear on my wedding day.

Original poster
Yeyeayo · 26/09/2008 16:06

@ wessexgirl - that does sound lovely

I think what bothers me most is not necessarily that they feel this way (although I don't understand it). I think it's the fact that they can't wait to tell me this. The men I know would rather not expose themselves like that iyswim.

But then sandy4 and emma's dps seem to have been able to do this.

Maybe it does have a lot to do with me being jaded

OP posts:
mrsruffallo · 26/09/2008 16:20

How many men have done this to you yyy?

Original poster
Yeyeayo · 26/09/2008 16:27

5

OP posts:
Original poster
Yeyeayo · 26/09/2008 16:29

My dating is not about getting into a relationship at the moment. If I meet someone I want to be with, then ok, it happened when it happened. But right now I am just getting back on the horse so to speak.

OP posts:
TheFallenMadonna · 26/09/2008 16:30

My grandad proposed to my grandma four hours after htey met. They married three weeks later.

AllFallDown · 26/09/2008 16:30

Man here ...
I think a lot of men know very quickly when they've found someone special. And, particularly, they know when they've found the one they want to marry (I did: we were engaged within three weeks of satting to date. Nearly a decade and a half on now). Once they've made that realisation, they can't see any sense at all in hanging around

PoppyFox · 26/09/2008 16:31

Only one man I think and he dumped me when I'd finally fallen for him.

Charlee · 26/09/2008 16:32

Yeah DP really quickly, then i got freaked out and went AWOL for a year and he was still waiting for me wehn i finished and still madly in love.

Original poster
Yeyeayo · 26/09/2008 16:35

@ TFM - Wow!

AFD - Thank you for coming in here. Always lovely to hear a man's POV .
When you realised you felt that way about your wife, did you feel no inhibition and just let her know straight away? Or were you more tight-lipped about it until you really couldn't hold it anymore? And if so, hpw long did that take?

OP posts:
AllFallDown · 26/09/2008 16:42

Managed to bottle it up and keep strong and silent for a good 20 minutes after I was sure what I felt. That was after about a week. We were engaed a couple of weeks later, when she'd decided I wasn't a time waster. We waited a bit to get married, just to be sure we weren't being stupid. And we're still happy together. There are plenty of men I've known who've always said they weren't into commitment, or kids, or any of that - and that's almost always been because they weren't into commitment to that girlfriend; the minute they've met the right one they've been committed like a shot.

nickytwotimes · 26/09/2008 16:48

DH and I knew we were right for each other from very early on and moved in together after 6 weeks.

HOWEVER, I have been in relationships with guys who have been very quick to say the 'l' word and been all lovey to begin with, only to dump me after a few months because the initial high had past, so be careful. These guys did tend to be immature tbh.

NomDePlume · 26/09/2008 16:52

DH was in love with me wayyyyyyyyyyyyy before I was with him. We moved in together after 4mo, I was pg (planned) within 7mo and married after 2yrs together. Been together 7.5 years now and v happy.

mrsruffallo · 26/09/2008 16:53

5!!
Don't believe they are all genuine, no
You must be very hot

geekgirl · 26/09/2008 16:56

my dh too - he was full of talk about love etc. after about a week when I was still rather
he proposed after about 2 months - I was

I guess he managed to brow beat me into it eventually

SpandexIsMyEnemy · 26/09/2008 16:58

yeah beau told me after about 2 weeks - but it took me a sight lot longer. He did propose after 8 weeks as well but I said no for obv reasons. (namely still being married! lol)

althou he have been talking about the future/him possibly moving in etc next year some time.

Bellchops · 26/09/2008 17:02

DH proposed after 9 days! Think it does happen.

Califrau · 26/09/2008 17:03

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.