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Original poster

Men who 'fall' quickly - do they in all actuality exist?

61 replies

Yeyeayo · 26/09/2008 15:00

I have recently started dating again and am amazed to find that all the men that I have dated claim that they want to be in a relationship with me after no more than two or three meetings. And I have always expressed the need to take things sloooowly. Plus I am not willing to give up being single for just anyone.
This is something that I am NOT accustomed to (although it has been seven years since I have dated) and I am used to men playing it cool and taking their time. As a result, I tend to think that these men are all full of doo doo.
However, I am now starting to wonder whether this is my issue and not theirs. I'm certain some of these men are trying to be players, but all of them?
So please tell me, do any of you know of men who actually do fall for women quite quickly and are not just trying to get into their pants/highly immature?

OP posts:
busybeingmum · 26/09/2008 17:04

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

reikimarie · 26/09/2008 17:32

I think men can be quicker to fall in love than women. I would imagine it is best to feel a bit sceptical as I am sure if you asked any relationship counsellor/expert they would confirm it takes months to get to know someone properly and you must get through the initial phase of feeling highly in love first. I am sure that is what they would say.

I expect I am jaded too but would be a bit inclined to think the man was being a bit needy if he declared undying love that quick too. Having said that in my experience they ARE quite quick.

Sometimes I can't ever imagine falling in love again though but who knows!!

HTH? I doubt it!

Califrau · 26/09/2008 17:40

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

pagwatch · 26/09/2008 17:41

my DH told his best friend he wanted be with me the day we met.
We kissed about two months later after he had plucked up courage to ask me out ( he was only 19 and I was 25) and that was when he said he loved me.
He proposed on his 20th birthday. We married soon after and are about to have our 20th wedding annversary next year.

TheInvisibleManDidIt · 26/09/2008 17:54

dh told me the 2nd day we'd known each other that I was the 'most amazing woman he'd ever met'

moved in with him 1 month later and been togther 10 years now.

ByTheSea · 26/09/2008 17:59

My DH proposed within three months of knowing me.

Original poster
Yeyeayo · 26/09/2008 18:47

LMAO @ mrsruffalo. Not hot
Suspect I present some kind of challenge.

There are some really lovely stories coming up on here

OP posts:
JumpingDizzy · 26/09/2008 18:50

yes it happens. All the men I dated recently were the same. ex Dh too and I was with him 17 years.

Good luck and I hope you find someone who you feel the same about. I have now

SaintPeachy · 26/09/2008 18:54

well we were-

met sept 98
started dating december after my relationship ended
moved in january
engaged feb
pg march
married next march

SaintPeachy · 26/09/2008 18:56

scarily quick? dh 3wanting to marry mr before we were together, i was atill engaged to mr plonker

so from day 1 really

jcscot · 26/09/2008 18:57

They do exist - my husband told me he loved after two weeks and proposed after three months. We've been together for nearly eleven years and married for eight. I think thst ome men just know what they want really quickly. :D

kerala · 26/09/2008 18:57

Met in the Feb he had moved in permanently by May.

turquoise · 26/09/2008 19:12

Are you dating off the internet Yeyeayo?

I've had a few internet dates and have definitely noticed this tendency - some I think because they are players and think (wrong!) it's a good line, some because they're desperately wanting a relationship and will force anyone to fit, and some because they're freaks. Or else I'm jsut completely irresistable.

giraffescantdancethetango · 26/09/2008 19:15

My best friends fiance told her he was in love after just a few dates

Original poster
Yeyeayo · 26/09/2008 19:25

Hi Turquoise,

I have met a couple off the internet. But I met the rest IRL.

Women somewhere must love to hear this if they think it's a good line but it actually sends a shudder down my spine.

OP posts:
expatinscotland · 26/09/2008 19:26

they do exist, but tbh, i'd be very wary of anyone whom i met online who fell quickly.

ilovemyghds · 26/09/2008 19:29

My DH told me he loved me within a week (by then I was practically living with him anyway). All moved v quickly. Just felt right.

ilovemyghds · 26/09/2008 19:30

ps Hadn't met online.

wannaBe · 26/09/2008 19:33

My dh told me he was falling in love with me within two days.

I was still a virgin when we met and didn't want to jump straight into bed and he waited for six months for it to happen.

We have been together 13.5 years now - married for 9.5.

ilovemyghds · 26/09/2008 19:34

ps Hadn't met online.

ilovemyghds · 26/09/2008 19:35

sorry!

ConstanceWearing · 27/09/2008 02:14

Attention please - GHD's did not meet her DP online

It all sounds so romantic and I know it feels lovely to be that attractive to somebody, but it can be a sign of a narcissistic personality disorder to declare love so rapidly. They adore you quickly, and tire of you just as quickly... so whatever he is saying, keep your own feelings level headed, if you can, till you know what he's really like.

UmSami · 27/09/2008 02:48

It happens...just asked DH how quickly he knew after meeting me...
his response 'pretty quick'
me 'how quicks that?'
him 'quick'
me 'quick?'
him 'days!'

Oh but it has to be added...we knew each other as friends for a couple of weeks before he had to travel overseas for a couple of years...he decided to handle this by trying to set me up with his best mate as he figured (his words) he didnt have a hope! Thankfully that never worked out...
One year later, over the phone,whilst still overseas...he proclaimed undying love and his intent to marry me...I laughed and said he didnt have a hope...
He came back a couple of months later, convinced me to marry him, got engaged...left for another year...came back we got married...
5 years later we're still married and I'm pregnant with DC2...
When its meant to be it's meant to be...

HAve to agree with earlier poster though... 5 is a lot...probably more to do with you being a babe!

UmSami · 27/09/2008 02:48

It happens...just asked DH how quickly he knew after meeting me...
his response 'pretty quick'
me 'how quicks that?'
him 'quick'
me 'quick?'
him 'days!'

Oh but it has to be added...we knew each other as friends for a couple of weeks before he had to travel overseas for a couple of years...he decided to handle this by trying to set me up with his best mate as he figured (his words) he didnt have a hope! Thankfully that never worked out...
One year later, over the phone,whilst still overseas...he proclaimed undying love and his intent to marry me...I laughed and said he didnt have a hope...
He came back a couple of months later, convinced me to marry him, got engaged...left for another year...came back we got married...
5 years later we're still married and I'm pregnant with DC2...
When its meant to be it's meant to be...

HAve to agree with earlier poster though... 5 is a lot...probably more to do with you being a babe!

Original poster
Yeyeayo · 27/09/2008 02:58

Hi CW

I am very wary of the whole situation but started to wonder whether I may be being a tad too harsh (as well as mildly insulted to think that several men would think I would fall for this). Also, I am by no means desperate for love and don't see how I could be conveying that so I don't believe that can be what's attracting them.

I've had my heart broken in the past and am in no hurry to put myself in that situation ever again (or do as much as I can not to). Until seeing these stories, I didn't think it was ever possible to have a healthy relationship with someone who would declare feelings just like that. TBH, I have a bad feeling about the most recent guy who inspired me to post this thread. Unsure atm whether that is due to my history or whether it is a real gut feeling. But I have learned to listen to these feelings, so my heart is not getting involved. I shall just watch with a wary eye. I'd hate to be on here months or even years down the line lamenting that I did not pay attention to my instincts. I have my children to think of as well as myself.

OP posts:
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