Helping around the house - or not??

[Sheen4272]

I've just had a row with DH (again) about helping me. We have a 5mth old who doesn't sleep through the night nor does she sleep much during the day. Tonight (as most nights), I cooked tea - having tidied up, put washing in etc etc. He come's home, dd is in bed, we have tea, I cut his hair and then go for a swim. I come home, he is on the laptop, the kitchen is as it was left - nothing stacked in the dishwasher, hair all over the floor from his haircut. He has gone to bed and left it all. Am I unreasonable to expect him to help everynight? He seems to think he's doing ME a favour when he helps?

Don't get into another row about it.
Just do a rota.
Stick it on the fridge.
Do your chores.
Don't do his.

If he queries it, just say that you thought it best to try and get the household organised, and that if he doesn't think the rota is fair, you are open to sitting down and talking about it.

He is acting like a child.
He needs to pull his weight.

Do you know what we row so much about it, I shout and get very angry. He thinks I'm mental. When we talk about it he somehow manages to turn things around. We've just got over a rocky patch and went away for the weekend but now we're back nothing has changed. I've told him I'm not clearing up the kitchen (god this sounds so trivial) and he will probably leave it till the morning. My point to him is that leaving dirty plates in the kitchen because he is too lazy to clean up isn't right. All I seem to do is nag. I like the idea of a rota, will suggest that!

why can't he do it in the morning? Do you think he's not going to?

Is he allowed to have different standards to you?

I hope he does and I'm sure he will - however the house stinks of fish in the meantime! He does have different standards to me and I am trying to accept that. Don't get me wrong I'm not one of these over zealous cleaners - how can I be with a 5mth old, but I just don't understand how he can sit in front of a laptop for 2hrs and leave it.