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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Original poster

I am smiling, chilled.feel really really happy! It's crazy because I have every reason to be f***ing livid.

53 replies

whosaidthat · 07/09/2008 11:19

So....
what are your predictions for the day ahead?

Shall I let dh carry on thinking that I don't know he has offered to buy something (for his hobby) for £850. Shall I see just how long he is going to continue showering me with affection and talking non stop in that lovey dovey way, because he knows it is a stupid thing to do and he has to tell me eventually?
or
Shall I kick him in the fucking nuts now?

OP posts:

Drusilla · 07/09/2008 11:20

Lol, let him think he has got away with it and then kick him in the nuts!

Lizzylou · 07/09/2008 11:21

Oh no, let him stew some more and enjoy your treatment.

ReginaFalangi · 07/09/2008 11:22

Drop hints now and then to test him and see his reaction.

Oh what a lovely power trip!

RubySlippers · 07/09/2008 11:23

at £850

what is it?

Spidermama · 07/09/2008 11:23

Start planning your own £850 pound treat.

SmugColditz · 07/09/2008 11:26

Go on a clothes shopping spree. He knows he has absolutely NO grounds to stop you.

Original poster

whosaidthat · 07/09/2008 11:29

I have known since 10.30 last night just after he made his offer on line. I shit you not I have actually witnessed him walk around guiltily and can now see just how much emphasis he is putting on being all jolly happy and loving to me (when normally he wouldn't)
Never in our eleven years of marriage have I ever held back....I normally express my self immediately, then things are resolved or settle.
The fact that I have not raised this would mean to him that I don't know.
What is astounding me is watching his actions as a guilty person...it's fascinating really

OP posts:

DustyTv · 07/09/2008 11:29

£850 , he must have a very expensive hobby. How does he think he is going to keep it from you.

It's not a guitar is it, my DH would spend that sort of money on a guitar, but only after talking to me about it first.

Agree, let him think he has got away with it and then kick him in the nuts just when he thinks all is okay.

bellavita · 07/09/2008 11:30

let him stew, kick him in the nuts and then kick again just for good measure

pleeeese tell us what he has bought

Carmenere · 07/09/2008 11:31

Are you short of money? What makes him think that it is reasonable to spend that much on a personal item?

bellavita · 07/09/2008 11:31

why don't you say to him gosh, I could do with some new clothes for autumn and see what he says?

RubySlippers · 07/09/2008 11:32

there is no way my DH would spend that sort of money without discussing it

who - can you afford this????

DustyTv · 07/09/2008 11:32

If he is acting guilty then that suggests that he knows he is being unreasonable, by at the very least not talking to you about it first.

I would be livid if my DH did this without talking to me. How on earth are you stopping yourself from saying something to him??

Anna8888 · 07/09/2008 11:34

Tease him about it .

Don't say anything about his purchase, but rather get online, make a shopping basket of lovely new clothes for you to the value of £850 and then go and see him and, politely and lovingly, ask him whether it is OK with him that you go ahead as it is, of course, coming out of your joint money.

georgiemum · 07/09/2008 11:34

Tell him that your fridge and cooker are on their way out and that you need about £800 to replace them. "If only we have the money - the kids will starve..."

Original poster

whosaidthat · 07/09/2008 11:34

yes we are short of money!
I am cutting corners in every possible way.
I am embarrassed to tell you this is for a matching fishing pole. A fishing rod for the "big boys"

OP posts:

lulumama · 07/09/2008 11:35

what sort of hobby is it? diamond collecting?

lulumama · 07/09/2008 11:35

then you must stop him ! unless he is planning on catching your dinner for the next year

RubySlippers · 07/09/2008 11:36

you are short of money and he has spent £850 on a fishing rod and whilst you are cutting corners and making do

i would be incandescent with rage

can you cancel the purchase?

bellavita · 07/09/2008 11:37

for that - I would kick in in the nuts!

bellavita · 07/09/2008 11:37

him

Carmenere · 07/09/2008 11:37

FFS, stop with the game playing and go and tell him to cancel it, unless he has gotten an inheritance or won on the lottery or something. that is a ridiculous and incredibly selfish thing to buy if you are short of money.

DustyTv · 07/09/2008 11:37

OMFG, a kick in the nuts is the least that he deserves. You are short of money and cutting corners, I do not envy you. Is he obliged to get it now, can you or he not cancel it.

OMG. It is an awful situation for you to be in.

bellavita · 07/09/2008 11:39

in fact, I would follow him when he goes fishing and when he is using the said "pole", just give a "push" from the back

Original poster

whosaidthat · 07/09/2008 11:46

It's a weirdy feeling, being so calm and smiley. I do feel strangely powerful.

He has gone fishing this morning.

Last night he came off the pc and said something to the effect that "someone was selling this pole and it was a real bargain" (not in my word but in terms of how much they are new)
He said "you'd go ballistic wouldn't you?" with a bit of a chuckle and then went back to the p.c.
My reaction was to play it down and make a gesture just with my hands as if to say "stop"
It was all very jokey and believed that with a lack of money that was the end of it.

Just befor he went to bed he seemed to be making really silly small talk about stuff that doesn't normally interest him (like they do when they are trying to make up after a row) and I suspected what he had done.
On checking the history I saw he has offered £850 from the £900 asking price.

OP posts:

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