I am smiling, chilled.feel really really happy! It's crazy because I have every reason to be f***ing livid.

[whosaidthat]

So....
what are your predictions for the day ahead?

Shall I let dh carry on thinking that I don't know he has offered to buy something (for his hobby) for £850. Shall I see just how long he is going to continue showering me with affection and talking non stop in that lovey dovey way, because he knows it is a stupid thing to do and he has to tell me eventually?
or
Shall I kick him in the fucking nuts now?

Thats really stupid of your dh isnt it.

I would log on as him, and tell the other person that there is no way your dh will honour his offer of £850 because your family is so strapped for cash you wont be able to feed your kids if he goes aghead. You thought it best to inform the seller so he is not wasting any time on your dh. He does not have the money.
That is as sneaky as your dhs behaviour, but sod it.

My sons (6 and 3) got a totally fabulous telescopic fishing rod each, top of the range, from my dad. Fishing was his hobby, he bought these two rods when I was expecting my first, with kids in mind. I love taking them out fishing, it is a great hobby. My 6 year old loves it, my 3 year old is not using his rod yet, he has a different rod suitable for a child.

Instead of letting him go off alone fishing, take your dd and go along!

It does sound like he's obsessed and acting on his obsession. I think it's time you confronted him and let him know your feelings. Maybe between you you can work out how much time WOULD be acceptable for him to spend on the riverbank.

Top tip: Start at a ridiculously, unacceptably low level so that you have somewhere to go. (eg. 'I would be happy if you could spend a total of three days a year fishing' ... then you can always 'concede' another couple of days.)

The thing is we had mutually agreed that one whole day (sunday) a month and a few hours on another would be sensible.
That would mean every other weekend he had his fix.

He has recently had a week away with mates on a fishing holiday whilst our family holiday was arranged by me on a shoestring.

He has just had two weeks annual leave (during this we had the budget holiday)
He angered me by squeezing in extra fishing after finishing work and befor travelling for the holiday (finished work thursday-day fishing fri-holiday saturday.....then home fri-fishing saturday etc)
He engineers all his home time to coincide with his fishing time and that really fucking annoys me.

When I have expressed my annoyance his latest reaction is "out of all of my friends I'm the most ameniable one to their wife" like I should be bloody honoured that he is more generous with his time than the others are to their family.
This all came to a head recently and for the first time ever, I felt (and told him) that our marriage was breaking down and I have had enough.