Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

anyone still around? please please help..REALLY LONG SORRY

91 replies

hollyandnoah · 06/09/2008 23:11

I dont want to come on and moan here but i am on my own and my sister isn't answering her phone.
My dp just came in off the 10.07pm bus, he has been out sinse 1.45pm bus, he went out to watch the football. none of this i have a problem with btw.
He was with a friend who only reciently (sunday passed) spit up with his partner. They were our friends. Have been together for 6 years and i was friends with the girl for a lot longer.
ANYWAY he called me at about 9 saying he was catching the bus, would i like anythinig brought in to eat. I said just some aero bubbles(lol) and we need dogfood.
Sooo he came in steaming drunk, and lay on the sofa and fell asleep (within ten minutes). I said ' why dont you go to bed and sleep' He started shouting and bawling at me, saying he just had a good night why am i ruining it blablabla, i just said he should go to bed??
He covered his face with a cushion from the sofa, so i asked him to stop being ignorant, and he said to me that i was a crazy bitch just like 'name' (our friend thats partner just left her) I was like WHAT THE FECK and puled the pillow off his face and asked him what he meant by that.
I was kneeling at the side of sofa when i pulled the pillow away and he sat up and pushed me to the floor, lay on top of me and held his forarm over my neck, untill i gagged.
Then went back to the sofa, lay down and covered his head with the pillow again.
I stood up and said 'get out' and he said no, so i said well i am taking ds and going. he said fine. I went and packed a bag, came through to say he better be gone by the time i am back in the mroning, he grabbed my hair and threw me to the floor again. My face is all red and my nose is bleeding, my head is banging from the hair pulling and cracking on the wooden floor.
I kicked him, where it hurts for a man, i know i shouldnt have, but i was on my back on the floor and he was over me, it was the first reaction i had. He walked out the house. but he has left his bank card, mobile, wallet, keys all here on my unit.
I also havent heard the security door buzzer going off/ but hes been out about 30 mins. he was really drunk, like slurring his words drunk.

Our ds is 8 months old. he has left before and we are only just getting back on track. He lives 30 miles away but was planning on moving in here again - he moved out when we split up before.

OP posts:
MrsSnorty · 07/09/2008 00:02

And yes - call your mum, don't think you should be own your own with a baby with all of this going on.

IWishIWasMaryPoppins · 07/09/2008 00:03

You need to call your Mum. This is not a trivial little disagreement. Your partner just beat you up. If a perfect stranger on the street did this to you you would call her without hesitation. You are emotionally wrought and physically injured not to mention you have just had a terrible shock. You are going to need her.

QuintessentialShadow · 07/09/2008 00:03

I agree you should call your mum.

I hope you get some rest and some support tonight.

MrsSnorty · 07/09/2008 00:03

on your own I meant. Really have to go now but good luck.

bloomingfedup · 07/09/2008 00:05

(Have only read your first post. I am and for you. Has he ever done anything like this before? If no, it very much sounds to me like he is extremly (?) pissed and it is defintley the drink - no excuse but it can bring out the worst in people. DO NOT LET HIM BACK IN TONIGHT. Is there anyone you can talk to in RL. If it comes to it, call the police. Have a really good think about what has happened (I know you will be in shock) and what you want to do. Take care. I will be up for a bit - if you want to talk.Take care.

IWishIWasMaryPoppins · 07/09/2008 00:06

Have the police arrived?

TheHedgeWitch · 07/09/2008 00:08

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

IWishIWasMaryPoppins · 07/09/2008 00:12

Bloomingfedup: Regardless of the presence of drink - only a vile man could hurt another human being like this - let alone the mother of his child and darling partner/wife. What has happened is he has thrown a tantrum and hit out at the first person to come close to him.

Holly: I suspect you will discover in the morning that he has fallen out with his friends or lost some money or been insulted or some such thing and he was such a coward that he could say nothing at the time. He has then come home and lashed out at you because you are an easy and vulnerable target.

AvenaLife · 07/09/2008 00:16

Are you OK Holly? Have you phoned your mum?

bloomingfedup · 07/09/2008 00:17

Iwishiwas

I think from what OP has said this is out of character, yes it is vile and he is a wanker - but she needs to decide what should happen tommorrow and from then on. I agree that she can never let this happen again. The most important think is holly and noah's immediate safety. I don't think now is the time to debate the issue of wife beating - do you?

BitOfFun · 07/09/2008 00:22

I hope you are ok love x Please pop back on here when you can and keep us up to date - you need to feel safe and looked after, and we all want you to to take care x

hollyandnoah · 07/09/2008 00:25

thats them away, they were here for the shortest time. have taken his description though.

i know it has somethin to do with tonight, he was with my friends x and i know they have probably been boiling and going throughg that in detail.. but i cant have him near me or my son tomorrow either

OP posts:
cornsilk · 07/09/2008 00:26

there' no excuse for what he did though. Hope you sleep well now.

hollyandnoah · 07/09/2008 00:27

got my sister too, she just called back. she's coming over.

OP posts:
cornsilk · 07/09/2008 00:28

Good.

AvenaLife · 07/09/2008 00:29

I know that you must be searching for reasons for why he has done this but there really are no excuses. Please phone your mum, she'll want to know. Leave it tonight, lock the door and try and get some sleep. If he comes back you must phone 999.

bloomingfedup · 07/09/2008 00:29

So they have'nt taken him in? I hope you are ok - as you can be. Its probably a good idea to have a space from him anyway to think through your options. It does sound as though his mate might as wound him up (prehaps not on purpose) Take carex

TheHedgeWitch · 07/09/2008 00:29

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

IWishIWasMaryPoppins · 07/09/2008 00:29

Can I suggest you go to stay with your Mum or sister Holly. In the very least so that you can sleep safely without fear of him returning? (To be honest I am surprised that the police didn't offer to take you somewhere safe!)

Ready4anotherCoffee · 07/09/2008 00:33

Alcohol is evil. seriously. Well done for taking the first step.

If for no other reason, please consider your son, you do not want him to grow up thinking this is normal behaviour. this was not excuseable.

IWishIWasMaryPoppins · 07/09/2008 00:38

I am going up now, but I will check in on this thread tomorrow.

I'll be thinking of you Holly.

hollyandnoah · 07/09/2008 01:13

Thank you everyone, my mum just left too, she wanted me to stay, but i dont want do wake noah and take him outside. I have locked the door and put the chain on. ahh but i have a sudden urge to do all my ironing. (not going to though i dont think!)

OP posts:
Ready4anotherCoffee · 07/09/2008 01:20

glad o hear you ar ok.

ironing can be very therapeutic

chipmonkey · 07/09/2008 01:28

Oh, Holly! Hope everything is OK now.

Littlefish · 07/09/2008 08:23

Hi Holly

How are you this morning? Is your ironing basket empty or full?

It was me that linked you to Womens' Aid last night. Sorry I didn't say who they were. They are an excellent organisation who will be able to offer you support, a listening ear, and some practical advice.

Swipe left for the next trending thread