Have put this in AIBU but need some advice quick as I am so pissed off

[susia]

My DS was last year not offered a place at any of my three preferred primary schools; despite them being the three nearest schools to my house and instead was offered a REALLY poor school a long way away due to the other schools being oversubscribed.

I waited, appealed, waited some more, considered moving, was really upset - all his friends, all the children in our street and area going to my first choice (5 min walk away) and where he went to nursery.

My parents offered to pay for him to go to private school till a place came up and this is where he went last year. He was happy but it meant a half hour drive out of the direction of my work, my parents can't afford it for long and as a lone parent and with one child I really, really wanted him to a part of our local community.

Anyway despite being on the waiting list all year a place has not come up and he has just started year 1.

Anyway, this school is now expanding, it wouldn't help my son but is needed in the area. The alternative is building another school but the Council has decided to go for the first option. Of course, the parents of children who got into that school are really annoyed, petioning the Council etc.

I found out (because I saw her picture in the local paper) that one of the petioners is someone I used to know. She either got her daughter into this school by the skin of her teeth or by lying about her address as I could swear she lives further away than me (but don't know her exact address). This same mother years ago told me that she was lying and pretending to be a single parent despite having a partner to get some grant when as a single parent myself I have had to struggle! I didn't say anything but was pissed off at the time. She is a middle class pushy mother who is prepared to lie about this and maybe where she lives.

But what pisses me off is her (along with others) holding up a banner to try to prevent the expansion of a school when her child doesn't even attend the very good local school to her. It's the 'I'm alright Jack' attitude that really annoys me. Her child is alright - to hell with everyone else's.

I don't understand why the parents who got their kids in are annoyed. I mean, it's not going to affect them one way or another surely? Their kids get to keep their places in the school no? So what's the issue.

Or am I just missing something here?

I am sorry Susia

either it is late, I have had too many glasses of wine or I am thick (and possibly all three)...

but what is your question?!

the only advice I can offer is to not let another person's actions annoy you.

There is nothing you can do to change her or what she is doing, all you can change is your reaction to her.

Quite frankly I would say it is really really not worth getting would up and pissed off about.

themoon66 - because the school would be bigger, less space etc

but why do you have an issue with it anyway?

If the school is bigger there would be more space in it.

if the school is expanding, how come a place hasn't come up for your son?

Harpomarx because it will expand from the bottom up and my son is now in year 1.

(Overmydeadbody - I don't have an issue with the school expanding!)

ok, so still not sure what advice you're asking for?

I would certainly have an issue with someone lying about where they lived to get their child into a local school.

Why is everyone else ignoring that point?

but what would you do, fortyplus? grass them up?

not ignoring the point, just asking Susia what her question is.

I don't know for sure she is lying but suspect she is to be fair. But if she isn't then she has been VERY lucky. It is the fact she is campaigning to prevent other children from attending their local school that annoys me when she has a good local school anyway.

harpomax I don't understand why you are asking me that when I have explained it - or thought I had...

susia, I'm not trying to be provocative, just being thick! What is your question?

Hi Susia, If the school gets the expansion go ahead your child would get a place there? But you are annoyed with the woman who is trying to stop the expansion although her child is at a different good school. Do you think she got a place for her child above yours through lying about her address? You've kept quiet about that suspicion but now that she's campaigning against expansion you think she's selfish and maybe a liar...

I don't know what I'd do. I would say alot of this goes on. Where on the waiting list is your child?

Hello - Can you bullet point your concerns for me as I can't follow but I will almost certainly be able to give you some guidance.

There is no deadline after which you cannot report someone for obtaining a school place that should have gone to your child & you can insist that the council investigates and comes back to you. The council has to pursue that for you if you have reasonable grounds.

If you can demonstrate that your child should have gone to that school e.g. was first on the wait list and you have incurred private fees as a result of your application being prejudiced by this lady's actions, then you can sue for the fees incurred. If you win then your legal costs will be payable by the defendant.

What you have to be conscious of and consider is on what grounds might this lady's child have secured a place at the school legitimately. Get a map out or ask the council direct if you think it was a matter of centimetres in terms of distance.

Hello - Can you bullet point your concerns for me as I can't follow but I will almost certainly be able to give you some guidance.

There is no deadline after which you cannot report someone for obtaining a school place that should have gone to your child & you can insist that the council investigates and comes back to you. The council has to pursue that for you if you have reasonable grounds.

If you can demonstrate that your child should have gone to that school e.g. was first on the wait list and you have incurred private fees as a result of your application being prejudiced by this lady's actions, then you can sue for the fees incurred. If you win then your legal costs will be payable by the defendant.

What you have to be conscious of and consider is on what grounds might this lady's child have secured a place at the school legitimately. Get a map out or ask the council direct if you think it was a matter of centimetres in terms of distance.