I have no friends

[Beauregard]

Well maybe 1 that i hardly ever see
and another that for some strange reason just doesnt bother calling me.
Bring on the violins .

Should i just accept this is how its to be?

I only have a few.. I don't see any of them very often.

I don't make friends easily so although I'm lonely sometimes I accept it's the way it is.

it depends on if you want more friends.

I rarely see my friends. we all lead busy lives and I moves away from them. It doesnt worry me at all.

Depends, I have a few close friends and thats it.
Other people I know surround themselves with people for coffee/nights out/babysitting/insert usefulness here.
Im sure if you wanted to you could widen your social circle and from that find some a close friend or two.
Do you want to?

What bothers me is that i always end up being the friend that is treated like crap.
I am not needy or clingy despite having depression half my life.I dont ask for anything other than the occasional phonecall or meet up for coffee.
So why am i alway treated like this?
It has happened before a few times.
I am starting to think i must be vile or something.
Friends have always meant a lot to me.

Well you are obviously quite sensible if you have got rid of the mates that arent worth having, that treat you like crap
What about MN meet ups? Any near you?
I know a lovely MNetter or three

I know how you feel but have resolved to do something about it. I was seeing the MW at the local sure start centre and from there I have made friends with another mother, we meet up a couple of times a week with the DCs and although I was a bit stand off-ish to begin with, I am trying not to be like that. I even accepted an invitation for a cup of tea at her house the other day and that is totally not something I would do! I've got in touch with some old friends who have since had kids and have joined various courses at the sure start centre. I also have my friends from college and have enrolled at college again.

I'm making it sound like I have loads of friends, but in actual fact, I have about 9 that I would put myself out to spend time with.

Whereabouts are you? I'd be happy to meet up if you live anywhere near me (Croydon/Bromley)

The thing is that if i stop bothering with the remaining 2 then i will lose them too.
Why tf do they treat me like this?
I may be depressed but i have never put on my friends or go on about it.In fact i am the one that usually sits there listening to them moaning .I always remember birthdays and special events.

I have been on a meet up a while back and couldnt go on the last one in the end.

Sadly nowhere near to you Frockhorror

Could you ring friend number one and make a firm arrangement with them? SOmething to look forward to? And friend 2, some people dont do calling, but would be happy to be called...try setting something up with them too.
Or branch out, start talking to people at nursery/school/the bus stop?

Yes will try and arrange something with the one friend.With regard to the other i really am not sure what to do,last time we didnt speak for 7 months because i never called her.It makes me feel like i really am worth nothing.

The mums at school are very clicky and i dont do playground politics ,infact i hate it and refuse to.
Their is probably one mum i would ask round for coffee maybe.I will try and make the effort when dd goes back to school.

Hmm I dont do playgrounds either, but some folk do and im sure there must be someone there thats worth getting to know.
DOnt worry about friend 2 then, tho there are mates you dont NEED to stay in touch with, you just know they will be there forever, is she one of those maybe?

.

This thread may help you. You're not alone

Hi Pelvic

I can relate to this. I made lots of friends when I had ds, but as soon as they started to have baby no 2, its like they cant be bothered anymore to call or meet up. I refuse to do all the running all the time so the friendships tend to fizzle.

Just recently made a new mum friend and after about 6 months invited her and hubby over for snacks, went well but havent seen or heard anything since, i feel like its always down to me to make the effort and i am getting quite fed up of it.

Since to have lots quite a few good friends for no apparent reason, I call, they say they will call back to arrange a date then nothing. Could understand if there was a reason but I can't see anything that has changed except some of them are having or had second babies..surely this is not a reason to let frienships slide....sorry for hijack/rant

sorry, meant to say seem to have lost lots of good old friendships for no reason

Thanks Nameandaddresswithheld i will read the thread.

Lupo you hit the nail on the head exactly and that is what drives me nuts Why why why when there is no reason??????? and that is why i can only conclude i must be hideous or something.

I know loads and loads of people. Out of all these I have kept very few friends, and have wasted an awful lot of time on people that actually really didn't care for me much at all. It's really hard when you have children because there are so many things going on in peoples' lives. My advice (fwiw) is to stick to people that you really really get on with. If they have children that yours get on with so much the better. But you have to make an effort with them, of course. It's also worth trying to 'let go' of the people you know it's not working with.