Married men, do they leave their wife for their mistress?

[BrazenHussy]

The old expression 'He'll never leave his wife for you' is what people tend to say to the mistress and there are, i dare say, many
mistresses putting their life on hold, waiting for their married men to leave their wives - either as he has promised to do or just because they think he will eventually when the kids grow up/move out etc

Reading through the relationship section on here, this doesn't appear to be the case - many do leave.

So, do these men suddenly just become new men and remain faithful to their new partners (mistress) or does a leopard never change his spots?

Is anyone prepared to share this on here?

That was what i was getting at CountessDracula - i've seen it said on here many times that the sex part can be forgiven but the emotional bond with OW/OM is the most hurtful

Yes Swedes in my opinion they do and we women believe them

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bah! theinsider, I wanted to say that. Jimmy Goldsmith wasn't it!

I wonder if it was 100% guaranteed that they wouldn't get caught, if there are any men who wouldn't do it?

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If it was 100% guaranteed they wouldn't get caught, I wonder how many women wouldn't do it??

I know a woman who waited 20 years as a mistress. The man never left his wife. The mistress (who is a friend of my dad's) now has no partner and no kids and she is really sad and lonely (and almost 60 so too old to have kids with anyone else).

So anyone thinking of being a mistress - don't do it, it'll just ruin your life as well as anyone else caught in the crossfire.

Oh God. If you are a mistress, do yourself a favour and tell him to fark orf. And tell him if he ever comes near you again that you will tell his wife.

I have a very good friend who completely wasted her 30s being a Mistress.

He didn't have kids@Cod.

It was years ago. All parties have moved on and are fine, so please - no pity parties for her or scathing attacks on me and him. Well, do if you just, but it will fall on deaf ears!

just = must

Back to my earlier point though, some woman are happy being the mistress, they don't want anything more - no wasted years no yearnings for children. Some of them already have children with their own DH, some don't want them.

BrazenHussy - but why!?! Why would they choose a man with a wife/partner. Do they choose thes men on purpose knowing he will never want to leave his wife?

I can only speak for me and two others I know in my situation but yes that is the attraction in my experience.

My dad's aunt had an affair for 20 odd years with a man who's wife would not divorce him - this was in the 50s. His wife subsequently died and they got married and had 20 years together formally before he passed away. But they never had children because she didn't want to have them with him as a mistress.

I do think meeting and falling in love with someone else when you're already involved, and then moving out, is a bit different to someone who has a full blown affair that goes on for weeks/months/years.

A friend of mine's father left her mother when she was five as he'd met and fallen in love with someone else. He's been with the other woman ever since - 25 years or so. And as far as my friend knows, entirely faithful in that time.

My dad left my mum when his mistress got pregnant, i think that is the only reason that he left my mum, as he would have got found out otherwise!

He's too old now i think to cheat on my step mum and i hope he hasnt/doesnt, but if he was yonger he probably would cos my step mum is his 3rd wife, and i think he left the first wife for my mum!

hes a complete twunt

My Dh had an emotional affair, hed fallen out of love with me and basically thought hed fallen for someone else. He told me he saw her as the perfect woman. She was always happy, always supportive of him, always looked good (he only saw her at work), was very encouraging in everything he did. he thought she would be a great partner because she wouldnt prevent him going out and doing sports etc.She was flirting with him big time and he couldnt see it just thought she was wonderfull.

I was so hurt i told him to go, but saying to him that he only ever sees the good side of her as only sees at work. What she is doing is putting on a front, she is flirting and feeding him lines he wants to hear.

In the end he didnt leave and we worked our way through it. I had been un intentionally stopping him from going out and doing sports etc because i needed him at home with me and the kids. Id become needy, moany and naggy. I recognised my faults and am much happier now. We are both much happier.

She on the other hand is showing her true colours and is a miserable, moody old bint and im glad he has finally seen the light.I feel sorry for her now.

Forgot to say that my Dh never promised to her that he would leave. They just had 'what if' conversations apparently.

I oftent think 'what if' id made him leave. would he be with her now??

muckypups, how often do you go out to play sports?

My Dad got his mistress pregnant shortly before he got my Mum pregnant with bro (I was already here)
OW was 'on the coil' (not that I'm not blaming Dad) and I think she thought he'd leave Mum if she got pregnant. He didn't - he stayed, she forgave, and they had 2 more kids (4 altogether) and I don't believe he ever did it again. Poor half bro was a 'guilty secret' and never really had a Dad. Sad all round.

I have friends who have cheated on every relationship they have been in! I just think it is really sad and to be avoided at all cost. People are not a clever as they think and they will be found out if they continue.

No one is perfect and we all make mistakes but serial cheating for the purpose of self esteem, ego etc is so damaging and selfish.

Very rarely do people leave for a mistress and then that relationship is sucessfull. Good luck to the ones who have managed it but i'm a sceptic and believe they are few and far between.

Why does the stereotype persist of the mistress pining and waiting for her married man to leave his wife ?

Lots of affairs are between 2 married people who don't WANT to break up their families.

Hi, i was a mistress, and he was married for 14yrs to his ex, we have been together for 19yrs now and have our own kids, i get on really well with his ex and his other kids, i was only 19 when i met him and got with him at 21,his 52 now and i nearly 40, but...over the years i often thought he has strayed and this year my gut instinct told me all was not well. and i found out he was friendly with a 26yr polish girl, long long story so wont bore you, when i met him i did not care about his wife or kids i was single he was the married one... now ... older ,wiser and married and kids i know how she felt and wud not want anyone to feel like i have, i think its all my fault knew what he is like but never thought he wud cross the line, he denies all but once you been their you know the signs so well, and yes i think an emoitional affair is far worse than if he had sex with her, which i think had both. ,his kids from his 1st wife are lot older and we have all become firm friends his ex has told me its the best thing that cud of happened to her, but then he did have an affair with her best mate and she knew but as long as he went home all was ok, i cannot get my head round that,yet i am trying to save our marriage , so what goes around comes around , but it still hurts and i love him, but the trust has gone.i am not a weak person just confused and want anwsers but then i know already what he did,i dont excuse myself for what happened all those yrs ago, but i am paying now.

When a man marries his mistress he creates a job vacancy.

yes