For anyone who has been or is about to be divorced

[lisalisa]

I am about to embark on divorce now. I did start a thread but that one appears to have ended wiht the useful info I received on it.

I would like to start a thread please for tips for making the process easier and also for proving assets etc and all those littel helpful things that other MNers found out that those of us still at the start of the journey could benefit from.

thanks all

no advice but wanted to bump for you. Good luck at this difficult time.

Try to be as amicable as possible, bitter divorce battles are the bread & butter...exotic lifestyles of many family solicitors. My divorce cost over £20,000, my dp's divorce cost £150.

thanks mrscurly. OMG brightwell! Presumably there were lots of issues in your divorce to srt out though? children/custody? can a standard divorce reallyget to that amount?

look at ondivorce and wikivorce websites.

I think the average cost of divorce is something like £12k. The more you can agree without solicitors the better. Do you have dcs? how long married? did either of you bring anything substantial to the marriage or did you start out togehter with nowt and build it all up from there?

As long as you know a bit about the law, you can keep the use of solicitors down to the minimum, but some people do tend to say 'Let's not bring solicitors into it, they are all greedy bastards' when what they mean is 'Don't get any legal advice, just give me everything I want and believe everything I say so I can screw you completely for daring to not love and obey me'.

I have no assets to split and exdh doesnt want custody, I have no idea about the process or anything though so I would love tips also.

Oh lisalisa . I know this has been on your mind for ages.

I have never divorced but my DP has. Child custody is the sticky issue: what do you want and what does your ex-DH want?

Me & my ex have joint parental responsibility with the dc residing with me, contact is as follows he has them alternate weekends, He is supposed to have them for 2 whole weeks during the summer but has whittled this down to just over a week, he's also supposed to have them 1 1/2 term holiday, but hasn't for 3 years. We also have alternate Christmas, the year they go to their dad the go Christmas eve afternoon until Boxing Day afternoon. I think the csa work maintenance out at 15% of monthly wage for 1st child + 5% for additional children, I don't know if that is gross or net. we have a private arrangement.

I left abusive H 3 months ago. He has agreed to try to make our separation and divorce amicable to save himself money. My solicitor has referred us for mediation to help us come to agreements to save money.

Divorce and child custody are very separate issues.

Adults divorce each other not their children

Children are a bond that once produced means you have to communicate for the rest of your lives. Be it hand over, to discuss finance, for birthdays, weddings, births of their own children.

Keep the two separate if you can and open up a line of communication without solicitors. Use solicitors to answer lists of questions not as an agony aunt.