So would you take revenge on the other woman if your DP/DH cheated on you?

[LynetteScavo]

Tin of paint over her car?

Informing of her benifit fraud?

How far would you go?

I also comforted myself with the knowledge that I no longer had to have anything to do with either of them ( no children in the mix) and best of all - no longer had to deal with MIL

I also did not have to live each day wondering if he was going to do it to me no matter how much he said he loved me. When you marry the mistress - you create a vacancy. I no longer had to worry about who would take the vacancy as the ow did.

5 years on there are still days when I want to make her hurt as much as i hurt but the best recenge is knowing I kept my honesty, dignity and integrity while all others involved cheated, lied and decieved and I moved on!

I fully understand that feeling of revenge...I was burgled last year and the feelings that invoked was very similar. Someone came into my life without me asking or even knowing, went through my things, stole some of them, upset my family and took my peace of mind....how dare they! what right do they have to just take what I worked so hard for and to threaten my family's peace just because they want to!
The feelings are the same when the OW tries to take your dh, the anger ,pain and worry caused is just as threatening and just as long lasting. If I said to her "would you come into my house and steal from me?" she'd of course say "of course not" even be appauled but really what she did was worse.

Yes my DH takes more than the lion share of the blame,he made promises to me he broke them and he had to live with the consiquences of his choices....he threatened his whole family by those choices but I also believe SHE owed me the common decency of respect for another human and their lives. she knew he was married and had children and yet still with him decieved and tried to steal from me all that is precious in my life. So I don't agree with the view she owes me nothing because in my book we all owe each other certain basic respects.

So despite the fact in my head I wanted to punch her into next year I didn;t I spoke to her civilly and firmly and the one she couldn't handle....honestly! I picked up the peices of our marriage and with hard work from us both we recovered and are stronger I KNOW she went on to cause the same pain to someone else. She was after my life she never got even close really....the best revenge!

well said maturer, it is the respect issue that still upsets me too. What a sad society if we all thought we 'owed' each other nothing just because we have not made promises aloud to them.

Surely by the very fact that the marriage vows have been taken speaks volumes. Surely no-one is stupid enough (not even the ow) to think they mean nothing to the wife anymore just because he is not keeping to them.

I wish we could all have more respect - someone who i know has made marriage vows does in my opionion deserve my respect to try to uphold them not be a party to breaking them.

well said maturer, it is the respect issue that still upsets me too. What a sad society if we all thought we 'owed' each other nothing just because we have not made promises aloud to them.

Surely by the very fact that the marriage vows have been taken speaks volumes. Surely no-one is stupid enough (not even the ow) to think they mean nothing to the wife anymore just because he is not keeping to them.

I wish we could all have more respect - someone who i know has made marriage vows does in my opionion deserve my respect to try to uphold them not be a party to breaking them. And which ever way you look at it the ow(or om) is knowingly helping to break them.

I am in a similar situation right now and concur with happywoman and maturer.
It is ultimately my husband who betrayed our marriage, however ow had a big part to play in it to.
I could take my revenge but figure that she is the type of woman that will get far worse at some point in her life if she carries on the way she has and is.
I very much believe in what comes around goes around and fate is a very big factor in my thinking.

I would not seek revenge from either of them but I would seek and explanation from my dh.

I just don't "get" revenge.

It makes the revenger look stupid imo

I also do think that wanting revenge is a natural human reaction - and if anyone does do something out of character they should try and forgive themselves too.

Surely a bit of ranting and raving and even some very bad behaviour is generally better than some of the potenial dangers of sleeping around - STDs and all that?

I found my best revenge was in learning that she is a cow to live with. Ha ha ha.

i have always felt that "revenge" is a bit of a waste of time to be honest. I was raised to believe that the best form of revenge is success. Move on with your life. hold your head high and be a better person. I cant bear all that "break her car". But then i do come from the "his fault not hers" school of thought. I tell you what I would be tempted to do. Send her a picture fo your family, your home, your life. with a note on the back saying get your own!!!

prettyfly we are singing from the same songsheet