So would you take revenge on the other woman if your DP/DH cheated on you?

[LynetteScavo]

Tin of paint over her car?

Informing of her benifit fraud?

How far would you go?

AnnVan, I met a girl like that at the school gate. She had been the babysitter for this couple and then went off with the husband. I was so when she said "Well, shit happens"
I was secretly hoping shit would happen to her too!

annvan the first wife sounds well out of it.

love your name by the way!

I also don't think you can generalise about what it means to be the other woman.

I think you can generalise. It's generally a very bad idea.

well of course it's a bad idea but that is not the same thing as generalising about the people who do it

I wouldn't. It the dp/dh who had the relationship with me. Its them I have the issue with.

nope - he would be dead to me - non existant.

only if it was someone i was close to.

I would probably shake her hand....if he was such a loser to cheat in the first place, then she is doing me a favour and it didnt even cost me anything

Years ago my best friend and dp were at it like rabbits. She had ust split with her hubby and had moved back hime so she used to stay round at ours quite a bit.

I used to go to bed - she would "sleep" on the sofa.

For a long time afterwards I was consumed with hate, and if an opportunity had presented itself - if I had seen her when I was drunk or whatever then there is no doubt that I wouldn have been able to stop myself.

After a while I forgot about them both, and in hindsight I realise that they both did my a favour - I got rid of him - A chauvanistic, balding mummy's boy, and her - a dirty little needy slag.

I am a firm believer in what goes around comes around and that you reap what you sow.

Last I heard of him, he's been married, has at least 1 kid, but tried it on with 2 girls that I know at an office party - while his wife was pregnant - his excuse was he wasnt getting any at home What a catch!!

ExH did this to me, I walked away and divorced him.

A few years later I met the OW (who he had married and had two kids by)

He had done the same to her, and she was shocked he had!

I remember asking why she was so shocked, he had done it to me, so why did she think he wouldn't do it to her!

The reply............because he always told her how much he loved her, bought her flowers all the time, was soooooooo attentive.

Yep he did the same with me.

What goes around comes around, which is the best revenge.

He is now BTW on wife number 4!

God i so wanted to. She still occupies too much of my head space.
I was told though my revenge was the fact that Dh is with me and not her and she didnt get her wicked way with him despite trying. The fact that i havnt retalitaed and me and Dh have worked through it and are now happier than ever is a bigger form of revenge.

So tempted by Tiramissus idea though

Agree with Custardo. The pair of them simply don't exist as far as I'm concerned. Never met her, never speak to him.

Have had lots of fantasies about how i would it.
Do agree though that best revenge is to have a good life regardless.
I think i didnt because at the time i was at an all time low and knew i would actually look foolish.

I do blame ow though because she did also know the hurt she was causing. Of course h was as much to blame but i can see his pain and move on - whereas with ow unless they become a nutter it still leaves a sense of unfinished business.

I certainly dont have the venom i did but when i am feeling down i still regret not having my eastenders moment and still having people refer to it.

All ow should expect revenge - but then they should also accept the fact that he is not being truthful to them - but they dont and as we all do place the guilt firmly at someone elses feet to protect ourselves.

It would be wonderful to have a good life without them. That would be fantastic revenge.

Unfortunately I was left on a Greater London Council estate with 6 children and no money. I'm not quite sure how to make him jealous about this, when he holidays abroad twice a year and buys whatever he likes

Benefit fraud stitch-up, though. Definitely.

My mate was cheated on by her dp, and found explicit pics of the OW on his phone. Had it been my DP, her pics would have gone straight on Facebook. Then i would have chopped his bollocks off and made her wear them as earrings.

I wouldn't take revenge on the other woman. I wouldn't have been married to her.

Having said that I don't think I would take any sort of revenge on DH either if he did something like that to me - it seems to be stooping down to that level. I'd like to think I would hold my head up and high and rise above it so others could see me as the dignified one. If you start acting like some crazy bint who's cut up his clothes and vandalised his car he's more likely to end up with the sympathy than you!

I remember reading somewhere about women who acquire men via his adultery "remember how you got your man because that's how you'll lose him". Wise words I think.

Nope, as far as I'm concerend the fact shes got him is revenge enough for me... she'll figure out exactly what shes done to herself soon enough.

Well,I am one who can look at this from both sides of the coin. Almost 30 years ago I was the other woman and please believe the old saying that what goes comes around. He was my older sisters nephew by marriage (their dads were brothers), so I kind of knew him. I was single, good job, own car & flat and just out of a disasterous relationship. He was married and pursued me relentlessly-even though his wife was expecting their first chlid. I gave in and agreed to see him cos I thought it would just be a fling-a one off but it became something more despite him once telling me that his wife didn't understand him. To my eternal shame he left his wife (before the baby was born) although it wasn't what I wanted. I couldn't believe he could be so stupid. However, we eventually moved in together despite the bad feeling it caused betewwen our families-my sister & her husband (his uncle) refused to speak to us for years. I vividly remember bumping into his wife in Boots one day-she gave me such a slap & a load of verbal abuse. I didn't blame her!! To cut a long story short-11 years later he did the same to me. Our youngest son was 3, the eldest 11. I remember storming into a pub-chucking a pint of beer over the ow & dumping all his clothes in the car park. Have to add we celebrated our 23rd wedding anniversary last month.

more likely to take it out on my OH to be honest.

I'd feel she was low and slimy, but wouldn't want revenge. I'd blame DH as he's the one who made the vows to me.

Revenge is an utterly pointless exercise IMO. I don't think it makes you feel any better, and it could cause all sorts of unintended problems. When my dh cheated I swore to myself that I would always be the better person, and behave in a way that I would be at peace with. Now I am glad that I can look back at that time and feel proud of myself. As far as I am concerned the OW cannot. Her actions were seedy and selfish. But the betrayal was dh's, and he and he alone has to come to terms with that. However I also have to accept that there was a lot of background to his affair, and that I have to take responsibility for at least some of that. The affair was five or six years ago now and me and dh have rebuilt are lives. Certainly when you have children I think there are more important things to consider in these sort of situations than getting a temporary thrill out of an act of petty revenge. Although prior to it happening to me, I was a chop up his clothes and throw them out of the window sort of gal...