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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

DH is being a fucking arse.

63 replies

PavlovtheCat · 22/08/2008 08:30

I have some money in my dresser drawer. A few pounds that I have been given towards a pedicure I am arranging for my best friend's baby shower.

I have put the money in my drawer so I dont spend it.

DH saw it there, as DD left the drawer open while playing with it, and this morning he asked why it was there. I told him, he took it.

No asking. Just took it. I asked why he was taking it, he said why not? I said fine just take it, grumpy like.

Then I said are you not going to even say thanks? And can you not take it all, and he said again, why not?

I said it was not his to take and he has not even said thanks, did not ask to borrow it, no thanks, nothing. Even when I said it, there was no sorry, thanks. He said. 'i did'.

So, when I said it was rude. He said 'life is a bit unfair sometimes isnt it?'

He is being really obnoxious lately .

OP posts:
bumbling · 22/08/2008 08:33

Got to be honest that would really, really piss me off. What about changing the locks before he comes back home?! Cheeky bugger.

BecauseImWorthIt · 22/08/2008 08:33

Sorry, but why did you let him take it? No point quizzing him about the whys and wherefores, he shouldn't have taken it. Full stop. So why did you let him? Shouldn't have built up into a silly argument!

BecauseImWorthIt · 22/08/2008 08:33

Oh, and find a better hiding place next time!

4andnotout · 22/08/2008 08:34

Oh he sounds a right twunt! I wouldn't go out of the way to wash or cook for him and if he wants to know why i'd point out as he says "life is a bit unfair sometimes!"

lilymolly · 22/08/2008 08:35

why did you let him take it?

FioFio · 22/08/2008 08:35

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FioFio · 22/08/2008 08:36

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RubySlippers · 22/08/2008 08:36

why didn't you tell him what you were saving it for?!

Lazarou · 22/08/2008 08:36

Kick him hard in the bollocks then push him down the stairs. Then take your money back while he is rolling around in agony.
Oh, and don't foget to stand on his head with your high heels as you leave the house.
Yep, that should do it.

Original poster
PavlovtheCat · 22/08/2008 08:37

becauseimworthit - not sure how I could have stopped him? He was at the other end of the room.
Of course there was more in the conversation that I posted, I did not post every word said.

The problem is, his debit card chip came out and he has no way to access his money today. His fault for not ordering a new card before now. And I need my card, he needs to get stuff on way to work.

So, in reality, I probably would have lent it to him. If he had explained and asked.

I think he is just behaving like a twat for some reason. He reminds me of a child who stares right into your eyes doing something they know you wont approve of, daring you to challenge them.

Oh god, what is going on? If I made much more of a deal about it, I would be told to lighten up, or be called a misery blah blah blah.

OP posts:
tiredemma · 22/08/2008 08:37

clean the toilet with his toothbrush. arsehole.

BecauseImWorthIt · 22/08/2008 08:38

Sounds like you need to step away from this - there's obviously a bit more going on. Are you sure that you handled this in a grown up way? If you knew he needed money wouldn't it have been better to offer to lend it to him?

Sounds like there's a bit more going on here!

Original poster
PavlovtheCat · 22/08/2008 08:39

oh great. He has just come over to give me a kiss and he has seem the thread.

'you slagging me off on mn? Oh thats just lovely, keep your fucking money' and has walked off.

Oh dear.

OP posts:
StellaWasADiver · 22/08/2008 08:39

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FioFio · 22/08/2008 08:39

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StellaWasADiver · 22/08/2008 08:40

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Original poster
PavlovtheCat · 22/08/2008 08:41

Well, maybe I am an idiot. But it appears I cant talk to anyone when I am upset.

So, shoot me.

OP posts:
lilymolly · 22/08/2008 08:41

Got to be more to this surely?

He was at the other end of the room so you could not have stopped him

Eh how about "please dont take that money its for x y and z"

DH "oh I need some money as cash card is broken"

You "Oh ok as long as you give me it back"

DH "yes sure"

thats how adults work surely?

FioFio · 22/08/2008 08:42

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BecauseImWorthIt · 22/08/2008 08:42

It doesn't sound very grown up though, does it? A silly row over some money, and then you come on here and do slag him off.

He doesn't have a card. You know that. He needs money to get to work. You know that. You have some money that you could have offered to lend him. Why didn't you?

Instead it has blown up into a silly argument, made worse by posting here!

(I'm not trying to have a go at you, although I realise it must sound like that, just pointing out that this was a needless argument that's left you both feeling out of sorts!)

StellaWasADiver · 22/08/2008 08:42

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bumbling · 22/08/2008 08:43

TiredMuma and Lazarou - Brilliant, brilliant, brilliant. Will save both of those for next time DP trangresses. He really loves his toothbrush.

bumbling · 22/08/2008 08:45

Sorry Pavlov missed that he'd seen the thread. Given it's already happened a bit I'd print it out for him when he comes back home tonight so he can see what MN thinks of him. Maybe then he'll see what a rude ARSE he is.

Original poster
PavlovtheCat · 22/08/2008 08:46

I did not know he wanted it the money until he took it. I did not know he was not going to walk in to work but get a bus until he said so. I would have met him for lunch so he did not need money for food.

It was not his money. It was not my money to take.

I apologised, and he said forget it. He is upset, and did not read the posts.

I best just accept, that I cant actually say anything, to anyone.

And yes, there is more going on, just dont know what. He would usually have just said, 'whats that moneu for, can i borrow it?' would have been fine.

OP posts:
Lazarou · 22/08/2008 08:46

Pavlov, you got your money back anyway. He was way out of order.