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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Flip

Original poster

Living with your ex

5 replies

beatrixpotter70 · 12/08/2008 18:15

I have been living in seperate bedroom from ex for 3 years kids are now 3 & 4. What affects could you see this is doing to kids. I believe that they will think this is how most people live or later that they should do the same. i want out but ex will not leave. He is a very eggressive, controlling person and more so if he does not get his way. He beleives that staying in the same house as the kids will not effect them. He is not controlling yet to the kids.

OP posts:

loopylou6 · 12/08/2008 18:59

hmm hard one, ive always said to my dh, should we split up whilst our kids are young i would want him to stay in our house, not sure reall how ideal it is, but at least the kids have both parents at home. do u get along together?

beanieb · 12/08/2008 19:00

Is he still controlling you? I think that would have more effect on them than him just being there in another room, but they may also be getting benefits from having their dad close.

How is it effecting you?

Overmydeadbody · 12/08/2008 19:01

this is never ever ever a good idea, for the adults or the kids.

I take it you and your ex have difficulty having love lives of your own?

Overmydeadbody · 12/08/2008 19:03

Do you act like a 'family' with ex, doing everything together but just not the sleeping together or is it all very seperate?

Original poster

beatrixpotter70 · 12/08/2008 19:14

i know 3 people who are doing it but their ex's are very good hands on always at home when they need to be dads. They are also good with them too so they can still give the perseption of still being together but just different rooms. We can get along for short moments. I feel he is still controlling me because he now will not move out and let me have my life and i suppose that means too that he knows i can not bring anyone back to the house either and what he does not see will not effect him, as they say. I split with him for the reasons mentioned and that he is also on the ASD and i can not deal with him as well as my son who also has it. becuase he can never remember anything too. I know all you mums with loving partners will all say they have partners that forget too. But imagine the extreme. I think i answered all of your questions.

OP posts:

Flip