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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Original poster

how soon after meeting your DP/H did you know.....?

118 replies

SpandexIsMyEnemy · 04/08/2008 09:10

he was....

a) the one
b) you were living together
c) you were married
) you had kids.

curious, i'll go first, (with xh I mean)

a) don't think I ever did, we jsut sort of plodded.
b) pretty much right away - was working together as well v intense, moved away after 8 months for 6 months then in together properly after that
c) married after 4 years
d) DS after 6 years.

OP posts:

berolina · 04/08/2008 20:42

a) 2-3 months or so. He claims he knew instantly, i.e. in the course of the first couple of hours we spent together.
b) We had a long-distance relationship for quite a while, which partly continued after our marriage, but moved into our first flat together 2 months before gettin married.
c) We married 2 1/2 years after getting together.
d) ds1 was born nearly 5 years after we married.

beanieb · 04/08/2008 20:44

expatinscotland - me too, not believing in 'the one'

I really do find it odd that people do and even more so that 'the one' is generally living iin or near the same place as most people. How come?

Bellchops · 04/08/2008 21:27

a) the night we first talked. had seen him years before but only admired from afar.
b) 3 months
c) engaged 9 days after talking (!), married nearly 5 months later.
d) pregnant about a month after first talking - not a mistake. :-)

ByTheSea · 04/08/2008 21:30

a) a couple of months
b) most nights after a couple of months
c) 8 months
d) 2 came with the DH package and then had another in 2 years

tostaky · 05/08/2008 07:09

a) the one - progressively over the first year
b) you were living together - straight away - i didnt leave his flat although i kept my flat until the 6th month
c) you were married - not happening
d) you had kids. 3 years but we wish we had kids earlier!!

kslatts · 05/08/2008 07:35

a) Instantly
b) 2 months
c) 2.5 years
d) 1 year after getting married

solidgoldbrass · 05/08/2008 08:06

Hmm
a) With some past flings there has usually been a mutual decision to carry on for at least a few more shags after the first one: bouts of sentimentality have sometimes set in around the three week mark.
b) Never done it
c) Never done it, never will. I am smart and can run fast.
d) 15 years though DS'dad is not and has not been a partner for 14.5 of them.

Sooo, how many of you have thought all of your partners were The One in succession, and how many people's The One turned out to be an abusive arsehole?

Original poster

SpandexIsMyEnemy · 05/08/2008 09:18

I truely believed XH was my right arm, and I couldn't imagine life without him.

he turned out (well always was I guess) a controlling manipulative abusive twat.)

and the sap over here still believes in the one!

OP posts:

GirlWithTheMouseyHair · 05/08/2008 15:02

a) within a few weeks I knew he was the person to turn my life around, and the one person I was prepared to save my soul and sanity for
b)one and off at his place/my place/parents place, finally had our own little mudhut in africa 13months after getting together (and a home in UK 6 months after that)
c) married 18months to the day
d) it's our 2nd wedding anniversary today and I'm exactly 29 weeks pregnant with our first baby

sagacious · 05/08/2008 15:14

a: 2 years
b: 8 years
c: 8 years 3 months
d: 14 years

We get there in the end (have been together nearly 20 years)

reallyannoyednow · 05/08/2008 15:21

a: a few months
b: a year
c: 6 years
d: 10 years

Twas a whirlwind romance you see . Adore the ground the man walks on, he's lovely...

MamaGLovesMe · 05/08/2008 15:22

a) the one 2 months.
b) you were living together 1 yr 10 months
c) you were married 3 years 6 months
) you had kids. pregnant on 1st anniversary

sketti · 05/08/2008 17:06

a) Two weeks after spending the weekend with him and realising he was more than a prety face lol
b)living with parents till baby is born
c)hoping...
d)be together 2years when baby is born

laura325630 · 05/08/2008 21:16

a) Not sure I did ever know!
b) 1 year
c) Not married, been together 5 years. He doesnt want to get married.
d) 5 years after meeting dd was born!

Great thread x

scottishmum007 · 06/08/2008 20:20

a/ straight away after the first date.
b/moved in together after 17 months.
c/got married 2 years into the relationship.
d/DS - born 22 months into our relationship.

girlsallaround · 06/08/2008 20:23

a) the one - in the first 5 minutes

b) you were living together - 3-4 weeks after we started dating

c) you were married - proposed after 3 months of dating, married 9 months later

) you had kids. - dd1 came 9 months after wedding, dd2 came 20 months after that and dd3 is on the way.....!

girlsallaround · 06/08/2008 20:25

we also relocated to london in this time and set up our own business. we have been together for 5 years now!!

girlsallaround · 06/08/2008 20:25

we also relocated to london in this time and set up our own business. we have been together for 5 years now!!

Hulababy · 06/08/2008 20:29

a) the one - not sure; it always felt right from day one but we were both very young (16); guess it gradually crept up on us

b) you were living together - after school and university, so 5.5 years later

c) you were married - proposed Christmas after we moved in together; married a year or so after - so 8 years after getting together

d) you had kids - took a lot longer than we had hoped for so 4 years after getting married; 12 years after getting together

katz · 06/08/2008 20:32

a) the one
pretty much straight away

b) you were living together
met in the jan basically living together by the sept so 8 months

c) you were married
met in jan 96 married sept 98 so 2.5 years

d) you had kids.
met in jan 96 had dd1 in Oct 02 so 6 years

TheArmadillo · 06/08/2008 20:34

a) don't believe in it - even though I adore him and we fit well together. I wouldn't want anyone else.
b) we started seeing each other at 17 and moved in together at 18 as soon as we left home
c) not married but he proposed 6 months after living together.
d) ds at 21 for me (dp's 22nd birthday) so 4ish years later, bit unexpected but welcome surprise.

oi · 06/08/2008 20:36

a) knew we'd be good together straight away
b) got pregnant so rented a place together..think 3-4 months after starting to go out
c) after we had dd so 14 months
d) didn't know, just happened straight away. Was on the pill and taking it properly. Even went to the doctor and told her I was feeling tired and couldn't figure out why and she was also bemused. Doh! Looking back, I'm so pleased and delighted it happened that way. I adore my children, still adore dh and I'm happy we had them when we did.

Married 8 years this November and dd turns 8 next week and ds 7 in Nov.

Goober · 06/08/2008 20:38

The one- within the hour.
Living together- within a week.
Married- 3 Months.
First child- born 7 months after wedding, 11 weeks before wedding.

Celebrated 14 years marriage in April and still going strong.

charliecat · 06/08/2008 20:41

a) the one - about 3 weeks into the relationship
b) you were living together - within 6 months.
c) you were married - we didnt ever
d) you had kids - first born about 18 months after we met.
added E) how long did it last lasted 13 years, split up now.

kama · 12/08/2008 09:52

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

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