What do you do when you have a great friend, but can't stand the children?

[SNoraWotzThat]

My dc's don't get on with their dc's.
Our dh's like each other, and will socialise together, with or without us. So the parents are OK. But when we are all together, with the kids it doesn't work.

Very awkward, have tried hard.

Anyone else experience this? Can you get past it, or are we doomed?

doomed then

Hmm..its hard...I would sit down and chat with them about it tbh and take it from there as it sounds worth doing so.

I have a vague friend whose DS I can't stand...hes a full year younger than DS but the same height and a total vandal...horrible but true, so I've kind of distanced myself...but it hasn't been a problem as only vague friends but in your case, worth chatting about I would think...

think it is the way 90% of the time, i think they do it on purpose. cos you want them to be friends.

I always hated my mum's friends' children. She rarely liked my friends' mums (one or two exceptions bath ways). We had a kind of mutual agreement that we'd have to lump it or all be friendless.

It;s true scummymummy as a child I didn't like my mum's friends children either. And their friendship was doomed.

deepinlaundry - true they do have some nice characteristics from their parents, or course, but on the whole they are vile!

slarty - we have told dc's they don't have to be friends, just to get along, but it's hard going (lots of eyerollling)

PJC - tried that, but might have to try again.

Doomed I reckon.

We haven't heard from some very good friends after I told them five months ago that we'd booked next years ski trip (without them). We always go togetehr but after last year and the pleasure of their child for the week I can't face it again. I think they're ignoring us now and its very sad.

That is one thing I would not contemplate (I often talk about it, beacuse we get asked) but I would not go on holiday with friends.

what ages?

8 - 12 ish

I have been doing this for 5 years now

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Funny you should say that Dior, I have emailed her to ask when the two of us can get together?

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very tricky IMO

I have a very old and dear friend whose children are all older than mine. I used to visit her 3 or 4 times a year before I had my children but the last time we went (with my DSs in tow) her children wouldn't let them play in their room and one of them kept complaining about DS1's behaviour
It's very difficult to met up without the children as they live too far away

Thank god that has never happened to us with friends! Generally my DCs get on with everyone.

Unfortunately my nephew has taken against my eldest son . DS#1 likes him and my other DCs get on OK with him and his sister. I suspect it's because my lad is physically confident and my nephew isn't. He calls my DS 'stupid'. Which he isn't. Makes life very dificult.

Yes I can be tricky, more so as dcs get older, as I have found and you can't just say "we are off out" without explanation of where or how long for and will there be food on offer!

Yes I can be tricky (I can)

but I meant "it" can be tricky

Just found this. I have exactly the same prob as deepinlaundry. My bf's son is the same age as mine, but he is really a vile child. It's a real shame - I have to make excuses, but I think it's prob becoming a bit obvious now. I can hardly tell her the truth though. They're only 6, but ds has begged me not to be forced into this boy's company ever again, so that's that really.